


Riddles With No Answer

by Penguina



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: AU, Adorable Oswald, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Demisexual Oswald Cobblepot, F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Happy Ending, Jealousy, Love, M/M, Minor Edward Nygma/Isabella, Minor Edward Nygma/Kristen Kringle - Freeform, Nygmobblepot, One-Sided Oswald Cobblepot/Jim Gordon, Oswald is crushing on Jim Gordon but Edward Nygma's his one true love, POV Oswald Cobblepot, Pining, Slow Build, murders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-03-28 01:25:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 54,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13893318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penguina/pseuds/Penguina
Summary: Oswald Cobblepot only wants to graduate high school and move on with his life. His sole goal is to remain invisible so he doesn't get bullied. However, his life turns upside down when he meets the friendly yet socially inept Edward Nygma. What he doesn't know is that Ed has dark secrets of his own.Even though Oswald and Ed started off on the wrong foot, the two eventually become best of friends and soon Oswald realizes he's fallen in love with Ed. However, running towards his one true love doesn't go as smoothly as it should. Life seems to have other plans for the two young men.~~~“Edward.” Oswald greeted through his teeth, slowly facing the boy with the glasses. “Why are you following me?”“I wasn’t." Ed said. "I came to socialize with the football team in the shower.”Oswald gaped at him. Was he for real? Or was this some kind of an act?“You do realize how weird that sounds, don’t you?” Oswald said.Nygma tilted his head slightly, brows furrowed in confusion. “How do you mean?”“Well… socializing in the showers isn’t really the best way to--” Oswald huffed, giving up. “Whatever. It’s your funeral.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first Nygmobblepot fanfic! I'm so excited *squeak*!!! I hope you enjoy reading it! ^_^

For his 17 years of life experience Oswald Cobblepot was already quite used to being ridiculed. He'd been made fun of on regular basis almost every day. He was the weird ugly goth kid that wore eyeliner at school and didn't really speak to anyone. He was the guy with the limp that looked like a bird. He was the freak. Oswald only rolled his eyes at them all. They made fun of his walk, of his appearance, of his behavior, they bullied him, and then they wondered why he didn't want to talk to them. Or have _anything_ to do with them, for that matter. He'd learned to avoid them. It was a survival instinct to keep to himself, to stay away. So when one day the new geeky kid approached him in the cafeteria Oswald wanted to scream.

The boy in question was probably about Oswald’s age, tall, skinny, with big glasses, big teeth and an even bigger smile. Perhaps it would've been sweet if it weren't so damn creepy! The worst of all was that he wouldn’t stop hanging over Oswald’s head and grin at him with inexplicable enthusiasm.

“What do you want?” Oswald finally asked when he got fed up with the silent but persistent attention.

“What I want the poor have, the rich need and if you eat it you’ll die.” the boy replied cheerfully.

Oswald blinked. "Is this-- Are you asking me a riddle?" he said unimpressed.

The other boy's friendly smile dropped as soon as Oswald asked that question instead of answering the riddle. “Maybe.” he said softly, biting his lip and looking down at the ground. He was still holding his lunch tray awkwardly in his hands. He looked back at Oswald. “Do you like riddles?”

There was hope in his voice. As if he actually wished Oswald wouldn’t deny his riddles and participate in this charade. Obviously he was wrong and Oswald was going to rectify the situation.

“No.” he said quickly.

“Oh.”

“So better just scra--”

“Nothing! The answer’s nothing.” he interrupted, the cheerfulness returning to his face.

Oswald suppressed a groan.

“Do you want an easier one?” the boy offered.

Oswald pursed his lips. “Do you know who I am?”

Usually people knew to either stay away from him, or bully him. Those were the two default options in Oswald’s life. That was what he was used to.

“Um, I’m still new around here. But those guys over there called you the Penguin?” the kid said, pointing at a group of students a few tables away.

Oswald’s lips were a tight line. He _detested_ that nickname.

The boy tilted his head. “They say you look like a penguin. They’re not wrong.”

That was the worst possible thing that boy could ever say. Oswald felt rage filling his entire being. “Listen, I’ve no idea who you are, but if yo--”

“Edward. Nygma.”

And that creepily friendly smile was back again. Oswald was baffled for a moment.

“Well, _Edward Nygma_ , you should know you’re standing too close.”

“Oh.” the smile deflated slightly and Edward Nygma took a step back. “Is this better?”

This time Oswald didn’t bother to hide his groan.

“Did you know that male emperor penguins keep their eggs warm by balancing them on their feet?" Nygma continued, not particularly upset by Oswald’s obvious lack of interest. "Isn’t that neat?”

Oswald blinked at him. “You’re insane, aren’t you.” It was not a question.

The boy -- Edward. Nygma. -- frowned. “Why would you say that?”

“I don’t care about male emperor penguins. I’m just here to eat lunch before classes start.”

“So am I!” Nygma said and took the seat across from Oswald, setting his tray with food on top of Oswald’s table.

“Erm…”

For a moment Oswald froze. _No one_ ever sat with him. And that was how he liked to keep things too. Oswald secluded himself away from everyone, kept them at a good distance, so that they’d leave him alone. That was the best way to avoid getting hurt, after all. So why was this kid still here? Was it some kind of a prank? Did someone send this Nygma person to him to prank Oswald!?

“We share a bunch of classes, too.” Nygma continued in the same weirdly cheerful manner, digging at his lunch. “Have you noticed? I like to sit at the front but the teachers usually send me to the back because I’m too tall.” He actually seemed sad by that fact and Oswald had to suppress an eye roll. “Also they mentioned something about me toning it down a bit and giving other students a chance but I don’t get what they mean by that. I mean, if the other students knew the answers, they would’ve raised their hands. Am I right?”

“I feel your pain.” Oswald said sarcastically.

Detecting sarcasm was apparently not one of Edward Nygma’s features because he gave Oswald an appreciative nod and continued, “Isn’t science great?”

“No.”

“Well, I love it. I love getting to the bottom of things and discovering stuff. What’s your favorite subject?”

It was like a never-ending ride at an amusement park, only it wasn’t amusing.

“I don’t have a favorite subject. And even if I did, it’s none of your business.” Oswald hissed. There had to be a way to get this guy to leave him alone and Oswald went for the direct approach. “I’m just not interested in this conversation.”

Nygma’s face fell. “Oh. Sorry about that. I didn’t know.” But then suddenly he was smiling cheerfully again. “So what conversations are you interested in?”

“No conversations at all! I don’t chit-chat with people!”

“But this was fun, wasn’t it?”

“No!” He all but gasped and grabbed his tray, leaving abruptly without paying attention to all the looks the other students in the cafeteria gave him as he waddled away. They already thought he was a freak so what difference would one more proof of the fact make?

Edward Nygma remained seated at Oswald’s table, alone with his riddles and his confused big brown eyes and his weirdly upbeat manner. Oswald just left him there. He had no time to be made a fool of by some newcomer who only spoke to him because he didn’t know any better or was possibly put up to it. Nygma was new, but he’d learn.

~*~  

Oswald curled up in one of the football field stands. His bag occupied the seat next to him. No one else was there but the football team and they were busy practicing so no one paid any attention to him. He knew well how to remain unseen by now. And he was good at it too! He opened his History book and started on his homework, only letting his eyes dart towards the field every once in a while.

 _He_ was there. Of course _he_ was there. James Gordon. Captain of the football team. Oswald’s rescuer. Mr. Perfect. Could he be any more of a cliche? With his classic good looks, his athleticism, his perfect teeth and hair and of course his blonde girlfriend. But it wasn’t Jim’s looks that had impressed Oswald so much. It was something much deeper than that. Oswald wasn’t one to be swooped by a dashing smile or a chance wink. He didn’t care for what others considered attractive or desirable. But James Gordon had something more than that. James Gordon was actually a good guy. He never bullied Oswald like the others did, he always stood up against whatever tiny injustice he stumbled across at school. He even saved Oswald from his annoying football mates once. It happened last month. Oswald was in a very bad predicament with a bunch of bullies and James Gordon told them to leave Cobblepot alone and concentrate on their training instead. He said he’d tell Coach and make sure they’re all kicked out of the team if they don’t. The threat -- real or fictional, Oswald couldn’t know -- had worked wonders. They left Oswald alone and he was so grateful to Jim for what he did. He tried to tell him this that same day but Jim only averted his blue eyes from him and walked away. Oswald had never noticed how gorgeous those blue eyes were before that day. Ever since then he had tried to express his gratitude but James was either with someone else or busy; or Oswald felt too nervous to approach him. So he kept coming to the football field, curling up in the stands and studying while keeping observing Jim Gordon from a distance. One of these days he’d find his opportunity to talk to the guy and today was as good a day as any.

He glanced at him again on the football field, being all captany with his excellent leadership skills. He was a good footballer. Or at least so Oswald thought, he couldn’t really tell, football has never been his passion. Until now…. Still Jim didn’t become captain for nothing. He was obviously skilled. And very dreamy.

Oswald had to pull himself together. He was beginning to stare at the guy and that was just carelessness. If anyone noticed the look on his face and deciphered it, Oswald would get into more trouble with bullies. And who knew if James Gordon would want to save him then?

“Hi.” A voice came from behind him, startling Oswald to almost drop his book.

“Fffu-- what the hell!?” Oswald gasped, staring at… well, yes, of course, it was Edward Nygma again. From the cafeteria.

“I’m Ed. Nygma. From earlier? Remember me?”

Oswald groaned. Why was his glare not scaring this guy off? It usually worked on delusional geeks. “Of course I remember you. I’m trying very hard to _forget_ you.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Nygma smiled.

“Don’t.” Oswald replied, tiredly.

“I see you’re surprised to see me here. Wondering why I’m on the field.”

“Not really.”

“I’m here to make more friends. Team sports help form a strong bond between humans. According to research.”

A part of Oswald was really tempted to ask Nygma if he was speaking as an outsider to the human race. Was Edward himself even human? It was hard to tell at times. But another part, the stronger and more stubborn part of Oswald, just wanted to be left alone, so he only huffed and looked back down at his History book.

Nygma peeked from behind Oswald’s shoulder and smiled his wide smile again. “Napoleon.” he announced cheerfully. “Do you like him? He was small but deadly.”

“It’s just a test we’re having. It’s not like I care about this stuff.”

“But it’s so interesting! I’m actually very good at History. If you need help or--”

Oswald’s eyes darted towards the field again. He jumped with a start when he saw James Gordon getting ready to leave, talking with his mates and heading towards the showers. If Oswald remained here talking to the Nygmalien he’d miss his chance!

“I have to go!” he gasped, hastily picking up his History book and his bag. “Just-- good luck with fitting in!” _Although why you even bother is beyond me_ , he didn’t add.

He rushed towards Jim, as fast as his bad leg would allow him. It was a pitiful sight but he couldn’t miss his opportunity again.

“James Gordon!” he called out. “James Gordon, wait!”

One of Jim’s friends, Harvey Oswald believed was his name, tapped Jim on the shoulder and brought his attention to Oswald. Jim glanced at him with a slight frown, confused as to what would Cobblepot want with him.

Oswald waddled towards him even more fiercely, trying not to keep the guy waiting.

“I’ll be inside.” Harvey said, giving Oswald another mocking glance before turning his back on them.

It was just the two of them now. The field was empty, the stands were… almost empty. Nygma was probably still there but he didn’t count. Oswald tried to steady himself. He was slightly out of breath from nerves and the effort to almost run. His leg was throbbing but he ignored the pain. Instead he let his eyes take in the view before him. James Gordon in his training clothes, hair wet with sweat from his practice. He could feel his scent and he never thought he would ever find sweat attractive but, hey, there was always room for surprises. He swallowed, lifting his eyes back to the other guy’s face.

“Hello, James Gordon!” he said. It sounded rather formal, like he was addressing a stranger from last century.

“Hi.” James Gordon replied, not too full of enthusiasm but politely enough. His hands were on his hips and he waited. Waited for Oswald to say whatever it was he chased after him for, Oswald registered. Right! He had to speak!

“Yes, hi!” he repeated a dumb smile appearing across his face, not necessarily with his permission. He continued nevertheless. “So I’m here to thank you for what you did for me last month. It was really very kind of you.”

“Umm, you mean…? What did I do exactly?”

“You told your friends to leave me alone when they were picking on me?” Jim still seemed rather puzzled. Oswald had to elaborate more, sink further back into the memory of that unpleasant experience. “They were about to flush my head down the toilet…” Probably not the most prominent thing he’d want James Gordon to remember him by but as long as it worked. 

“Ah, right. Yeah, I remember that. Cobblepot, wasn’t it?”

Oswald nodded happily, his eyes beaming. “Yes! Yes, I’m Oswald Cobblepot. We have History together. And English, too. And a bunch of other classes….” Why did he suddenly sound so much like Nygma? Damn it! “Anyway, that’s not important. What’s important is that I want to thank you. I tried to thank you earlier but I kept getting interrupted. Besides you were too busy and hard to get a hold on. Not that I blame _you_ for that, of course! But I did want to thank you so I’m glad I caught you now.” He bit his lip awkwardly. “So, thank you, Jim Gordon.”

Well, that sounded nothing like what he’d practiced. He bit his lip, waiting for James Gordon’s ‘verdict’. Gordon gave him a strange rather confused look. But it wasn’t an annoyed or angry look so that was good. Right?

“I see.” Jim finally said. “Well, no thanks necessary. I’m glad you didn’t get shoved in that toilet. That’s enough of a reward for me.”

Oswald heard a nervous little giggle and realized with terror that it came from him. Damn it, he sounded so silly! He couldn’t stop himself though. It was like all his self-control went down the drain the moment James Gordon was around. Oswald had never felt like that before in his life, ever! 

“I should hit the showers now.” Jim said, jerking his thumb in the direction of said showers. “See you around?”

“Agh…” Oswald’s mouth was slightly ajar, his eyes round at the image in his head. James Gordon in the showers. This was not a good thing to visualize now! Definitely not now!

“Nice talking to ya.” Jim chuckled and tapped Oswald by the shoulder. Then he was gone.

“Grhhh.” Oswald said intelligently and shut his eyes closed with a grimace. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

What was he thinking anyway? That Jim and he could become besties just because Jim prevented his mates from shoving Oswald’s head down a toilet? Did that sound like the beginning of a beautiful friendship? The sad truth was that a part of him really did dare to hope that perhaps Jim, being the good guy he was, would be friends with someone like Oswald. And of course Oswald would have loved that! James Gordon was the only person in school Oswald would actually want to be friends with. Well, so much for that! He made an utter fool of himself.

“Wow. You’re so smitten!” Came a voice from behind him and Oswald didn’t even need to turn around to guess whose it was. He was quite familiar with that voice by now. 

“Edward.” Oswald greeted through his teeth, slowly facing the boy with the glasses. “Why are you following me?”

“I wasn’t." Edward said. "I came to socialize with the football team in the shower.”

Oswald gaped at him. Was he for real? Or was this some kind of an act?

“You _do_ realize how _weird_ that sounds, don’t you?” Oswald said.

Nygma tilted his head slightly, brows furrowed in confusion. “How do you mean?”

“Well… socializing in the showers isn’t really the best way to--” Oswald huffed, giving up. “Whatever. It’s your funeral.”

“I’m supposed to learn what’s where on the school premises. I can see for myself where the football field is but I am not familiar with the showers and other equipment. Also I don't know what’s the protocol there.”

“The protocol? Of the showers?”

Nygma nodded.

Oswald couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for the guy. The footballers would flush him down that toilet less than 30 seconds after they meet him. Would Jim be there to save him too?

“Look,” Oswald said seriously, wrapping his hand around Edward’s bicep and guiding him towards the exit, “maybe football is not your thing. It’s overrated anyway. And I really don’t see why you’d need to be on their team.”

“But I want to!” Nygma protested. “There are tryouts starting soon and I will work hard to get that slot.”

Oswald sighed. “Do you even _play_ football?”

Nygma pulled away from him, looking outraged. “You’re just like the rest of them! I thought you’d be different but you’re not! You think I can’t do it. But I can! _I can_!”

“Okay, okay!” Oswald threw his hands in the air. “You can do it! Whatever you wish!” he shook his head. “Like I said, your funeral. I’m just trying to spare you a disappointment. Dealing with these guys never leads to anything good. But you can go break your own head if you so wish.”

His grip on his school bag tightened and he walked past Nygma. He tried. If this guy was not responsive, it wasn’t Oswald’s problem. He already did far more than he normally would. Man, this day was getting weirder and weirder! 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Over the next couple of weeks Oswald’s life went back to normal. He was busy enough with his college application and school work. College wasn’t extremely important to him but his mother really wanted good education for him and he in turn wanted to make her happy. He wanted to be a good son. So even if college meant he’d have to spend most of his life in debt in order to pay his tuition, he was ready to do it for his mother. That was the bigger picture. Smaller picture was he got punched in the face today, again. Some guy thinking he’d impress his girlfriend if he beaks Oswald’s nose. Typical. The idiot didn’t even succeed in that -- Oswald’s nose wasn’t broken, just bleeding, but it still put Oswald in the unpleasant position of having to show up like this before his mother. 

He tried covering the signs, washing his bloodied face as much as he could, but Gertrude Kapelput had a keen eye for detail. She noticed the bruise. 

“Osvald, my darling boy, what happened to you!?” she rushed towards him, her voice soft and worried, her arms warm and open for him. 

“It’s nothing, mother.” he smiled, hoping to reassure her. 

“The bullies again!” she frowned, a mixture of anger and sadness. 

“I think he got a nasty bruise on his hand when he punched me.” Oswald chuckled, kissing his mother’s hand. 

Gertrude did not share the joke. “They only do these things because they’re threatened by how intelligent you are! My handsome, good boy!” 

She pulled him into another loving hug and he wished he could stay there forever, warm, safe and happy. But she pulled away soon to show him the new tablecloth she made out of the old curtains and he had to admire her handiwork. 

“And I think a new bedspread is necessary too.” she concluded. 

Oswald nodded. “I guess, it’d be good.” he said. “I trust your taste.” 

She beamed at him and was about to reply when a knock came on the door. 

“Oh!” she looked at him with surprise. She wasn’t expecting anyone and no one ever came looking for Oswald. So who might that be? 

“Hi, madam, I’m Jim Gordon, a friend of Oswald’s?” 

Oswald had to press his hand to his mouth in order to keep his yelp inside. James Gordon was here? He remained very still in the middle of the room while his mother welcomed Jim Gordon. 

“Oh, of course. If you’re a friend….” Gertrude said slowly, giving Jim an evaluating look, head to toe. He took it like a man. “Come in.” she finally said and opened the door wider for him. 

“James Gordon.” Oswald couldn’t suppress his smile. “Hi.” 

“Yeah. Hi.” Jim gave him a nod. 

Suddenly it all felt a little too awkward, wooden even. Oswald wasn’t sure how to proceed, he couldn’t fathom what would possibly urge Jim Gordon to come to his home! 

“I’m sorry to barge in unannounced like that, without a warning...” Jim began explaining himself but Gertrude quickly silenced him with a warm smile. 

“Any friend of Oswald’s is welcome here.” she said.  

Jim smiled back at her and Oswald felt a wave of a happy thrill spread across his entire being. The two most important people in his life just shared a smile! 

“Can we talk in private? It’s rather important to me.” Jim said and for a moment Oswald was lost in his eyes. 

He quickly snapped out of it. “Yes, yes, of course.” He pointed towards his bedroom door. “This way.” 

Gertrude and Jim shared another polite smile and Jim headed towards the door. 

The thought of having James Gordon in his room was mind-blowing as it was. But to have it actually happen surpassed all Oswald would ever dare to dream. In his head, Jim and Oswald would do simple things -- play chess together, talk about fictional characters, watch movies, discuss detective stories and even writing a few of their own for lark, that sort of thing. He never let his mind wonder too far, he never crossed any lines or let himself go wild. Not even in his fantasies. But Jim was in his room now. He came to Oswald, looking for him. Would they really be friends now? 

“Oswald, I’m here for a favor.” Jim said the moment Oswald closed the door, not beating around the bush. 

“Oh, of course. Anything, James Gordon, anything.” he reassured. 

Jim chuckled. “Well, for starters you can stop calling me by my two names. Just Jim’s good.” 

“Naturally.  _ Jim _ .” Oswald smiled, testing the name on his lips and blushing slightly. 

“So I have these essays to write, for college. And a bunch of papers for school…, a few tests I need to prepare for...” 

“I see. You want me to help you study?” 

Jim considered it. Was he going to ask for Oswald to write them for him? No, Jim Gordon wouldn’t do that! 

“Actually, I was hoping you’d-- do the majority of the work.” 

Well,  _ that  _ was unexpected! Oswald would never think Jim to be the cheating type. 

“I see. Well, I could do that, of course.” Oswald said carefully. “But are you sure you want that? I mean, I can easily tutor you after classes or help you put your own thoughts into words. Wouldn’t you want to participate more in the process?”

Jim took a step closer. His voice was softer, quieter. “Look, Oswald, I’m not thrilled about it either. It’s not what I’d usually go for. I write my own homework. But this is our last year and I need the grades, even with the scholarship. I just don’t have the time to study properly and do it right. I’m pressured….” he sure looked it. Oswald noticed how tired he seemed and felt his heart break. “Coach wants the unimaginable from us. Me especially. He says I have potential and wants me to practice twice as hard.” 

“That must be hard.” Oswald nodded compassionately. 

They sat down on the edge of Oswald’s bed, close to one another like conspirators. Jim looked him in the eyes. “It is.” he said. He pursed his lips and sucked in a deep breath through his nose. “I know it’s asking too much of you, but could you do this for me?” As he spoke his hand rested on Oswald’s knee. Casually, as if it was no big deal at all. But even the light touch on its own was enough to send an electric jolt throughout Oswald’s entire being, reaching his very soul. 

“No! I mean, yes!” Oswald nodded rather feverishly. “Say no more, I’ll help you. Of course, I will. After what you’ve done for me. And I know you’re a good guy, Jim Gor--” he grinned and corrected himself, “ _ Jim _ .” 

“There you go!” Jim grinned as well and Oswald felt his cheeks heating up again. 

“I’ll help you. You just tell me what those essays and papers are about.” 

Jim retreated his hand from Oswald’s knee and took out a list from his jacket pocket. 

“Here, I wrote it all down for you. Thought it’d make it easier.” he said, handing the list to Oswald. 

“That’s very considerate of you. Thank you.” Oswald said as he took the piece of paper with Jim’s neat handwriting. 

“ _ You’re _ doing  _ me  _ a favor, you don’t have to thank me for it, Oswald.” Jim laughed. 

“Oh. Right.” Oswald laughed too and at this moment his heart was filled with joy. They were laughing  _ together _ . 

~*~

Jim didn’t stay long after that. He had practice and had to go. Oswald on the other hand had a list of topics to research and write about. He wanted to prepare excellent works for Jim so he spent most of his days after Jim’s visit writing Jim’s essays and papers. Since he basically had to study both for himself and Jim, it took most of his days and parts of his nights, making him even more silent and distant than before. He didn’t mind. He had a goal. 

His usual study places were luckily at his disposal. He went to the football field almost every day to study there, the rest of the time he spent in the library surrounded by books, and then home where he could spend some time with his mother, study some more and then bed. He was never the one to party with other people so it wasn’t like he was missing out on something. He was content with his life. Even lunch breaks could be put to better use. He spent many of them in the library, spreading a bunch of text books and papers on the table and truly digging in the knowledge as he wrote. And the best part was that usually no one bothered him. Usually, but not today. 

A shadow was cast on his books and then, “ _ Though I never could read, yet lettered I'm found; Though blind, I enlighten; though loose, I am bound. What am I? _ ” 

“Pardon?” Oswald looked up. “Oh. It’s you. Hello, Edward.” 

“Hi.” Edward greeted. He was holding an impressive pile of books in his arms. Must be his way of working out, Oswald thought rather amusedly. “May I sit down?” 

Oswald shrugged. It didn’t matter at this point. 

Nygma put his own books on the table and settled down. Oswald turned the other page of the textbook. Ironically, it was History again. Jim’s paper was on Pax Romana so Oswald was familiarizing himself with more perspectives. 

“Do you give up?” Edward’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. 

“Never.” Oswald assured. 

Edward chuckled. “I meant the riddle. Do you give up?” 

“Oh. Um. I told you I don’t like riddles.” 

“So you  _ do  _ give up.” 

Oswald rolled his eyes but the corners of his mouth quirked up slightly. Edward’s amusement and enthusiasm were rather contagious. 

“You’ll never get me to say those words.” He replied which only caused Nygma to grin even wider. 

“It’s a book.  _ Though I never could read, yet lettered I'm found; Though blind, I enlighten; though loose, I am bound.  _ It’s a book.” he smiled and then added slightly awkwardly, “Because you were reading a book, you see…” 

“Clever.” 

Oswald closed the textbook and put away the pen. Taking a small break wouldn’t be such a crime, after all. 

A shadow passed through Nygma’s face. He frowned. “I believe I owe you an apology, Oswald.” he said.  

Well, that was surprising. Not quite as surprising as Edward knowing his name. Oswald didn’t remember giving it to him. Perhaps he inquired about him? 

“You do?” Oswald asked curiously. 

“Yes, yes, I do.” Nygma nodded. “You were right about the football team.” 

“I know.” 

“They really were a bunch of assholes.” 

“They always will be.” 

“Brutes.” 

“Till the very end. I hope you didn’t get too hurt.” 

Edward shook his head. “I was luckier than--” he was about to say  _ you  _ but instead changed it to, “--most.” 

Oswald noticed but said nothing. It was still considerate and sweet of Ed to try to be kind and spare his feelings.  

“So you gave up on your football dreams then.” Oswald teased. 

Ed laughed and rolled his eyes. He seemed to relax around Oswald so it was beginning to feel less weird to talk to him. Or perhaps it was just that Oswald got used to his way already. 

“I wouldn't call them dreams.” Ed said. “I was being  _ delusional _ .” 

“Happens to the best of us.” Oswald said reassuringly, smiling back at the other boy. 

“What about you? Studying for exams? Another test?” Ed asked conversationally. 

Oswald glanced down at all the books he’d opened on the table. “Um, yeah. Sort of. There’s a lot of stuff right before the end.” 

Ed nodded. “Tell me about it. Have you applied to a college yet?” 

The cheerfulness was gone from Oswald’s voice. “I still have a few things to finish.” 

“Best of luck!” 

“Thanks. Same to you.” 

Ed’s large hands suddenly dropped down to the table with a small thump, startling Oswald. 

“What, what is it?” Oswald gasped. 

Ed was staring ahead of himself and Oswald looked around, following his gaze. It was a girl, red hair, a ponytail and glasses. Big eyes, big smile. She looked pretty, Oswald supposed. Perhaps that was Ed’s crush? 

“Sorry… I should--” Ed mumbled, pointing at the direction of the girl and Oswald chuckled to himself. Definitely Ed’s crush then. 

“Sure. Go ahead.” Oswald said and he couldn’t resist the temptation to repeat Ed’s own words to him. “ _ You’re so smitten _ .” 

The look on Ed’s face was priceless. But then he beamed into a huge grin. 

“You’re such a tease!” he said and ran towards the girl, leaving his books at Oswald’s care. 

Oswald smirked to himself and returned to his work. 

~*~ 

“Those are the first five. I have like six more but I’ll be done with all of them by next week.” Oswald promised. 

“Thanks, Oswald. I can’t thank you enough!” Jim said, giving Oswald’s shoulder a gentle tap. His hand lingered there for a moment and Oswald had to make effort not to faint. 

“I-it’s nothing. What are a few favors between friends?” he smiled, flushing once again. 

“I appreciate it, I really do.” Jim assured. 

“Hey, Jim! We have that thing!” Harvey called out from the other end of the corridor. 

“Shoot. Right! The thing. Oswald, I gotta go…” 

“Of course.” 

“See you around?” 

“Of course.” 

“Bye, Penguin. Thanks a lot! You're the best!” Another tap at Oswald’s shoulder and Jim Gordon was gone. 

_ Bye, Penguin.  _

For the first time in his life Oswald didn’t hate his nickname. For the first time in his life it sounded like a pet name to his ears. 

~*~ 

It became a tradition for Oswald and Ed -- when did Nygmalien become just Ed to him? -- to have lunch together at the cafeteria. Oswald’s table seemed so crowded now when two outsiders were sitting on it instead of just one. It was nice though and Oswald actually enjoyed the company. Ed may have appeared like a creepy weirdo the first time they met but in fact they had more in common than Oswald thought they would. And it was nice to not be entirely alone for a change. They talked about school, about things they liked and things they hated, about life as a whole, about Ed’s dreams and Ed’s plans. Naturally there were a lot of riddles involved in their conversations but that was to be expected, considering it was Ed. Oswald found he didn’t mind riddles that much anymore. They were actually kind of fun. Getting to know Ed was a good thing. There was more to him than met the eye and Oswald liked that. He even enjoyed bringing out new sides of Ed, a more confident and at times even bossy Ed. 

“Don’t deny it, I know what you’re doing!” Ed scolded, throwing his bag on the cafeteria table instead of a greeting. 

“What?” Oswald muttered.

“Jim Gordon? You’re writing those papers for him, aren’t you?” 

“That’s not--” 

“Don’t lie to me! Don’t tell me it’s not true because I know for a fact that you don’t take half of the classes you’re writing about!” 

“I was about to say that’s not any of your business.” Oswald said. It wasn’t a mean remark, it was just a regular remark. It wasn’t meant to insult Ed and Ed didn’t get insulted. 

“It’s not.” Ed agreed. “But I don’t like it that you’re putting off your own work for  _ him _ .” 

“You’d do the same for Kristen.” Oswald rolled his eyes. 

“That’s different.” 

“How is that different?” 

“Because I actually have a chance with Kristin.” Ed blurted out. 

Oswald’s jaw slacked. He paled. That was hurtful and uncalled for. Even if it were spot on. 

“I mean it in the best possible way when I say this, Oswald, but Gordon’s using you. You’re blinded because you’re grateful to him for what he did for you in that bathroom--” 

“You really need to say these things in your head first before you spill them out like that. People would misunderstand.” Oswald sighed. 

“-- but that doesn’t mean you should do this to yourself.” 

“I know what I’m doing, Ed. I don’t expect anything from Jim in return. We’re friends. I’m just helping him out.” 

Ed laughed. “Jim’s not your friend.” he said, leaning closer to Oswald on the table. “Do you want to know who Jim’s friends are? Harvey over there, Barbara Kean and her possy, Daughtery and the likes of him. Those are Jim’s friends. You’re nothing but Jim’s typewriter!” 

“Shut up.” Oswald frowned, crossing his arms over his chest and slumping back in his seat. 

“I don’t want you to get hurt in all of this.” 

“Perhaps it’s too late. Perhaps I’m already hurt.” Oswald said quietly. 

“What?” 

“Nothing…” 

“Oswald.” 

He sighed. “I’m just saying sometimes you like people who don’t like you back. Sometimes life sucks. Doesn’t mean I shouldn’t take whatever I can out of it. Jim’s talking to me now. It’s scraps, I know, but it’s what I can get. And I don’t want to spend my life without knowing what it feels like to be-- I know what I’m doing, okay?” 

Ed sighed. “Alright. You know what you’re doing. I get it. You don’t need my advice.” 

Oswald did not reply. Ed’s warning was actually quite accurate and Oswald was not an idiot, he knew that Ed was right. Still he couldn’t deny himself the opportunity to share Jim’s company, even if the only reason for it were a bunch of essays and papers. 

~*~  

He was watching some stupid TV show with his mother. He thought it was boring but she seemed so happy he didn’t want to ruin it for her. So he tagged along, keeping her company. It was Saturday night and he decided to give himself some break. Jim’s schoolwork was all ready and done and now all Oswald had left was a few of his own papers and forms to fill. 

“Ah, he’s going to guess it! Just you wait!” she laughed, clapping her hands. He so loved seeing her this cheerful. 

A knock came on the door. 

“I’ll get it, mother. You enjoy the show.” Oswald said, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. 

“Two times in one month, my son is popular.” she teased and he rolled his eyes. 

For a moment his treacherous brain made him think it was Jim Gordon again. Perhaps he needed another favor? Or perhaps he just wanted to hang out? 

When he opened the door it was Ed standing in front of him. 

“I need a favor.” Ed said quickly. 

Sometimes when he spoke like that -- low and fast -- he resembled a robot. Oswald found it amusing and endearing. 

“Sure. What is it?” Oswald asked. 

“You should come with me to a party Barbara Kean is hosting.” 

Oswald chuckled. “I don’t party.” 

“I know but this has to be an exception!” Ed insisted. “ _ Please _ ! Kristen will be there….” 

“Kristen can be on many places, Ed. Doesn’t mean she wants you around.” 

“Actually, it does.” Ed inhaled and exhaled rather loudly, trying hard to contain his uncontainable enthusiasm. “She texted me earlier, saying she’d love to see me there.” 

“Wait, you two are texting each other? Since when?” 

“She needed my help with a riddle for her English paper and I helped out.” 

Oswald gave Ed a look. 

“What? We both know I’m weak.” 

Oswald laughed fondly. “And you need me to come with you because--?” 

“Emotional support. I’m freaking out.” 

“Of course, you are.” Oswald nodded. “I’ll just go warn my mother. Wanna come in?” 

Ed shook his head. “I’m too nervous now to make a good first impression on her. I don’t want her to think her son’s friends with a crazy guy.” 

Oswald chuckled again. “I’ll be right back.” 

He hid inside the flat for a few moments and then emerged all ready to party. More or less. “Take me to your torture gathering.” he said, offering his hands to Ed as the other boy laughed and pulled him down the stairs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find the full riddle [here](https://www.braingle.com/brainteasers/teaser.php?op=2&id=18844&comm=0) 


	3. Chapter 3

“Your mother doesn’t mind, does she?”

“Oh, she has one fear and one fear only.”

“What’s that?”

“That I’ll run off with some painted lady.”

Ed laughed. “No danger there.”

Oswald chuckled too. “Yeah. So I keep telling her but she’s still afraid.”

They reached Barbara Kean’s house in no time. It was a _huge_ and _luxurious_ place but most of all it was _loud_. The party had already started, obviously, and it was hardly a tame one. Oswald sighed internally. This was going to be a nightmare.

“Are you sure you need me here?” he pleaded one last time.

“Oswald!”

“Sorry. You’re right. Okay, in we go.”

He sucked in a deep breath and they were instantly swallowed by the crowd of drunken students.

“Where’s Kristen?” Oswald shouted. He still couldn’t quite hear his own voice over the noise. What did people like about this total chaos anyway?

Ed looked around, brows furrowed in concentration. “I’ll check on the east, you check on the west.”

And he disappeared.

“Hey, wait!” Oswald called after him but it was too late. Damn it, how was he supposed to know where the hell is west around here?

Some half-drunk guy with a top hat bumped into Oswald, almost spilling his drink on him.

“Hey, watch it!” Oswald gasped.

“Sorry, Mr. Mayor!” the guy said mockingly and walked away laughing.

Oswald pursed his lips. People were dumb. The only not-dumb person here disappeared searching for his almost-girlfriend, ditching Oswald all alone in a crowd of weirdos. He wasn’t so sure if his mother’s silly TV show wasn’t better entertainment than this. As he kept cursing his luck he looked for any signs of Kristen Kringle on what he expected to be ‘west’. All he found was some red-haired girl that threw up unsettlingly close to him.

“Sorry… I should’ve stayed home with my plants.” she mumbled dizzily. “But they said I needed to go out more.”

Oswald wanted to scream. On second thoughts, he could scream -- no one would hear him in this looney bin anyway.

“Oswald?”

He turned in the direction of the voice, slightly startled to hear his name, but his face instantly melted into a smile when he saw who it was that was calling him.

“Jim!”

“Hi! I didn’t know you were coming!” Jim said.

“Oh, well, yeah… I did. Um, Barbara didn’t invite me but Ed did…”

He was beginning to mumble the words under his breath now, causing Jim to scrunch up his face and lean in closer in order to hear.

“What?”

“I said I came here with Ed!” Oswald yelled.

“Who?”

“Edward Nygma!”

“Can’t hear you. Better come with me.” Jim said and without waiting for a response he took Oswald by the arm and pulled him through the crowd towards the stairs.

It was quieter on the second floor. Considerably less people. And Jim seemed to know what’s where. Of course he did, Oswald’s brain helpfully supplied, it was his girlfriend’s house.

Jim opened one of the bedroom doors and signalled to Oswald to follow him inside. Oswald did. The noise was finally canceled out, not entirely but enough for Oswald’s head to stop throbbing.

“Oh, that’s much better.” he sighed blissfully.

“Best part about parties, you can always hide away.” Jim smirked.

Oswald chuckled. “I should hide in here the entire evening then.”

Jim looked at him, his eyes intense. “Mind if I hide with you?”

Oswald’s face heated up instantly. “Um. Sure.”

For some inexplicable reason his heart was starting to beat faster, too. It wasn’t just the look in Jim’s eyes. The entire room felt sort of _intimate_ with the light dimmed and the bed so inviting. Not that they were here for the bed at all, it was hardly like _that_ , Oswald knew that well. But the bed was still _there_ and Oswald couldn’t shut that information out of his mind.

He remained awkwardly in the middle of the room. Jim glanced at him every now and then. It was strange in a way Oswald was unused to. He swallowed nervously, feeling very self-conscious about his arms and the fact that he had no idea what to do with them.

“I came here with Ed.” he remembered to say.

“Yeah, I saw.” Jim replied. He was fiddling with something in one of the cabinets.

“Oh, you did?”

“Yeah. Are you two together?”

“Yes, we are. We’re friends, I guess.” Oswald nodded.

“No, I meant _together_ together.” Jim said and turned around with two cups in his hands, offering one to Oswald. “Drink? It’s the good stuff that Barbara’s parents keep hidden.”

At this point Oswald would gladly consume a whole bottle. “Sure, give it here.” he said, wrapping his fingers around the cup. He sat down down on the floor, propping his back on the bed. Jim followed.

“Ed and I are friends, Jim. We’re not _together_ together.” he said, feeling ridiculous to even say it. Firstly, the phrase ‘together together’ sounded absolutely dumb. Secondly, Ed and Oswald? Please! They were friends. In fact, Ed was probably his _best_ and _only_ friend.

“I’m glad you came.” Jim said. “You never go to parties with us. I was wondering why.”

Oswald almost spilled his drink. “We’re not exactly best of friends, me and the ‘yous’. Your group of friends aren’t that fond of me, surprising as it may sound.”

Jim chuckled. “Still, no reason not to enjoy yourself every now and then.”

Oswald shook his head. “I don’t find parties enjoyable.”

Jim glanced at him again. “No?”

“Too loud, too crowded.” Oswald explained. “Chaos for chaos’ sake. I don’t see the appeal.”

Jim shifted closer to him, smiling. “Well, I hope I can make you enjoy this party. It’s not crowded and it’s rather…” _intimate_ , Oswald thought nervously while Jim settled on, “... _cozy_.”

Oswald nodded, chewing on his lower lip. “Yes. It seems so.” He looked awkwardly around in search of something to say. “It’s a nice room. Nice… walls.”

Jim put his cup down on the floor and Oswald suddenly felt a pair of firm confident hands on his shoulders. He jumped startled and stared at Jim, puzzled. He was so unused to physical contact that didn’t bring him pain in some form that now that Jim’s hands were only gently massaging him Oswald was unsure how to react.

“You feel tense, Oswald.” Jim said as his clever fingers started rubbing circles into Oswald’s shoulders and upper back.

“Errm…”

What was happening? Was this a football thing?

“Shh, relax, Oswald. I’m only trying to help you.” Jim continued. His hands were sliding down Oswald’s back. It was incredibly distracting and Oswald could feel his entire body lighting up with strange energy.

“Jim, I-- I--” His voice was shaking and he wasn’t sure what exactly he wanted to say so he bit his lip, too afraid that the next thing out of his mouth would be an embarrassing moan.

“You’re a funny guy, Oswald.” Jim whispered, his breath warm on Oswald’s neck. It was tingling and sensual at the same time.

Oswald was very ticklish and sensitive so being touched by anyone but his mother always made him nervous. However, perhaps pain or tickling would’ve been the better option to the other reaction his body was currently having to Jim’s ministrations.

“Jim, you should stop.” Oswald managed, dazedly.

Jim’s hands stilled but remained on Oswald’s back. “Why?” he asked. “Don’t you like this?”

Oh, he liked it alright! He liked it _too much_ , that was the problem.

“You don’t understand….” he muttered.

“Don’t I now?” Jim smirked and before Oswald knew it Jim’s lips were on his neck.

Oswald gasped in surprise. His initial response was to pull away as if burnt.

“Jim!”

“I couldn’t help myself. I’m sorry.” Jim said earnestly and Oswald was even more amazed now. Jim Gordon couldn’t help himself!? Jim Gordon wanted to kiss his neck!?

“B-barbara…” Oswald began.

“There are things Barbara can’t give me.” Jim interrupted. “And there are things that I owe only to you.” he winked and leaned in to kiss Oswald’s neck again. “Consider it a favor.”

His hands were back on Oswald’s body and this time Oswald did not pull away. He remained very still, very confused and not quite himself.

“This is me thanking you.” Jim whispered as he felt every inch of Oswald’s body. “For the essays and the papers.”

Oswald froze. “W-what?”

Jim looked up at him. “It’s what you wanted, right?”

Oswald looked at him, frowning. “I don’t understand.”

“You got me the grades, I get you off. Favors between friends.”

Jim’s words were like daggers through Oswald’s heart. “Is that what this is to you!?” he gasped, feeling vulnerable and-- and _humiliated_.

Jim didn’t seem like he saw where the problem was. “Well… everybody’s happy.” he said.

Oswald looked even more terrified. Jim rolled his eyes, pulling Oswald back to himself.

“Come on, Oswald, I know you want it. I can tell when people want me. I saw the way you look at me.”

“That’s not--”

“Why deny it? If it’s a secret, I’ll keep it.” he smirked seductively.

Oswald was frantically shaking his head. He was stunned. “N-no!”

“I’ll be your dirty little secret, Oswald. I’ll be your fantasy.”

“Wait!”

“I can quench your desire. After all, that’s why you wrote all those papers and essays for me, right?”

“That’s not what this is to me!” Oswald blurted out, tears streaming from his eyes. He jumped up on his shaky feet, yelling without consideration who might hear. It was too loud downstairs anyway. “I cared for you, Jim! How could you? I actually thought-- I wanted us to be friends. I wanted to be friends with someone as good as you. But you’re not that guy anymore. I don’t even know if you’ve ever been him!”

“Oh, Oswald. Those little blushes and eye fluttering were _not_ just wanting to be friends. Who are you trying to fool?”

Oswald swallowed, trying to stand tall. “No. I guess they were not. I guess I was obvious. But I wanted something special with you. Not just-- not just a transaction for a few essays!”

“Well, I’m sorry if I can’t return your feelings! Don’t be such a girl about it!”

Oswald gaped. “Excuse me?”

“Oswald…”

“You’re _not_ who I thought you were.” Oswald said, pursing his lips into a tight line, his hands clenched into fists. “Not only are you a sexist, Jim, you’re _also_ an idiot!”

That said, Oswald stormed out of the room, letting his tears fall down his cheeks. He didn’t bother hiding them. It didn’t matter anyway. He knew coming to this party was a bad idea. However, he couldn’t predict just how horrible it turned out to be.

~*~ 

Jim remained in the room, lost in thought. He was staring at the half-empty cup in his hand but he didn’t drink from it.

The door opened again.

“Good job, Jim.” Ed Nygma said.

“Why do I feel like shit then?” Jim asked bitterly.

Nygma closed the door behind himself and sat on the edge of the bed, holding his hands together. “It was the right thing to do. He wouldn’t have let you go if you hadn’t done that.”

“If you’d only seen his face when I--”

Nygma placed a hand on Jim’s shoulder. “It was necessary.”

“It was cruel.”

“It was more cruel to use him to write your homework for you!”

“I asked for a favor. He could’ve refused.” Jim said.

Ed chuckled, bitterness in his voice. “We both know he wouldn’t refuse. You used his affection for you against him. You knew he liked you and you took advantage. You only acknowledge his existence when it benefits you and ignore him afterwards. I had to put a stop to this.”

Jim ran his fingers through his hair. He felt like shit but that didn’t change the fact that he had indeed took advantage of Oswald’s crush.

“You’d never return his feelings and he would’ve pined after you for _years_.” Nygma continued. “He’s not a bad guy, Jim. He deserves better than a one-sided relationship like that. Don’t you agree?”

Jim nodded. “I agree.”

“Good. So yes, it was hurtful, but this is for the best. Now he can start healing and move on from you.”

Nygma got up from the bed and headed towards the door. Their conversation was over.

“Nygma!” Jim called out. Ed stopped. “You sure are a weird friend.”

“ _Imagine you’re in a dark room. How do you get out?_ ” Nygma asked, turning around to face Jim.

Jim groaned. “Are you seriously asking me riddles _now_!?”

“Just answer it, Jim.”

“Okay, how do you get out?”

Nygma smirked. “You stop imagining it.” he said pleased, leaning down to be at eye level with the other guy. “You were Oswald’s dark room, Jim. He couldn’t get out because he couldn’t stop imagining it. Hoping for things that would never be, letting you weaken him. Not anymore. Now he’s free. And that’s all I want for him. The best.” he straightened up again. “I may be a weird friend but I _am_ effective. I know what Oswald needs and I can help him. Like he helps me.”

Jim said nothing more. He remained in that bedroom for most of the evening. He didn’t really feel like a party tonight. Nygma was right about one thing, Oswald had definitely brought out something in Edward that used to be buried deep down. For just a couple of months there was hardly any trace left of the jittery nervous young man Edward Nygma used to be. But was this for better or for worse? Only time could tell?


	4. Chapter 4

The next day Oswald felt like shit. When he glanced at the mirror he saw he also looked like shit too. His eyes were puffy and red from all the crying and he hated that no matter how much cold water or ice he put on them, the evidence of his tears persistently remained more than obvious. His mother gave him a strange look at the breakfast table. It made him want to curl up on himself. 

“Do you want to talk, Oswald?” she asked lovingly. 

He shook his head. “Not yet, mother. I’m sorry.” 

She pressed a kiss to his forehead and held him tight as she whispered soothingly. “My handsome intelligent good boy.” 

For some reason that just made him want to cry even more. 

He was glad it was a Sunday and there was no school today. He wouldn’t be able to face school in his current state of mind. Nothing good awaited him there. Jim, other people, even Ed would be a burden to look at. A guilty reminder that Oswald ditched him last night at the party. After what happened with Jim Oswald didn’t want to see anyone so he just left without a word. That was a stupid move, he hoped Ed wasn’t mad at him for it. 

If he could, he would’ve skipped school altogether. It was the last year anyway, this whole thing would soon be over. But if he wanted it to be over properly he had to attend -- exams and final papers waited for no one. There was no escaping Monday. But until then Oswald was determined to stay in his room all day, in his bed with the covers thrown over his head. And that was precisely what he did. 

~*~  

Ed called in the afternoon. Asking if Oswald was alright. Oswald didn’t know how to reply to that question. He didn’t want to start talking about what happened at the party, Jim Gordon was not something he wanted to discuss right now, especially not over the phone. But he still owed Ed an apology and he had to make sure Ed was aware how sorry he was. 

“Um, Ed, about last night,” he uttered, clenching the phone tightly in his hand, “I’m really sorry I left without telling you. It got a bit too much for me and I just had to--” 

“It’s alright. Don’t worry. I understand.” Ed said in his usual cheerful manner. 

He didn’t sound mad at all. It was so sweet of Ed to forgive so fast. Oswald felt tears welling up in his eyes all over again.  

“Did you--” his voice broke so he cleared his throat, “did you find Kristen?” 

“Oh, don’t worry. Everything went according to plan for me last night.” 

Oswald nodded. “Good, good. I’m glad she’s nice to you now.”  

At least his friend was happy.

There was only a small pause before Ed spoke again. “And what about you? How are  _ you  _ feeling? You sound-- tired?” 

“Tired, yes. I am tired, I guess. Or perhaps I’m coming down with something, I don’t know.” 

“But you  _ will  _ come to school on Monday, right?” 

Was it distress Oswald detected in Ed’s voice. 

“Why? Would you miss me if I’m gone?” Oswald couldn’t help but ask, a bitter chuckle escaping his lips. 

“Of course! Oswald, you’re my best friend. I admire you so much. I don’t think you know what a remarkable person you are.” 

Oswald chuckled again but this time there was no bitterness. “I’m hardly that great. But I’m glad to be your friend. And I am attending school on Monday, so don’t worry.” 

“Goodie!” 

He swallowed and added more quietly. “And I’ll tell you more about Saturday night then.” 

Ed sounded solemn. As if he had somehow sensed the importance of the last sentence. “Alright. It’s your choice.” 

Oswald licked his lips nervously. “You were right.” he said, voice almost a whisper. 

“Oswald, are you sure you’re alright? Do you want me to come over?” 

“No, no, enjoy your weekend, my friend. We’ll talk on Monday.” Oswald reassured, wiping at his eyes and forcing himself to at least sound normal. “I’m fine.” 

“It’s no problem. I could be at your place in no time--” 

“It’s fine, Ed.” That may have come out a bit harsher than he meant it. “Sorry. I mean…” 

“I know what you mean. And okay. We’ll talk on Monday.” 

“Thanks.” 

“See you then.” 

They hung up. Oswald bit the inside of his mouth and sucked in a deep breath. Then he threw the comforter off of himself and swung his legs over the bed. Enough. If only his voice was enough to make Ed so worried about him, what must his mother feel like? She  _ saw  _ him in the morning, she  _ knew  _ he was not well, hiding in his room. What kind of a bad son would worry his loving mother like that? 

He put some proper clothes on and joined his mother in the living room. 

“Oswald!” she beamed at him, evidently happy he got out of bed. “Come sit with me!” 

He did. She wrapped her arms around him, giving him another hug. Then scrunched up her face a little with a small titter and a smile of her own. 

“Oh. Perhaps, let me draw you a nice warm bath first. Would you like that?” 

Well,  _ that  _ was subtle. He chuckled. “Yes, mother. That’d be lovely. Thank you.” 

He ended up helping her with the bath and she then rubbed his back with the sponge before leaving him alone. On the whole, it was relaxing. He always liked playing with the water while taking a bath. It had always cheered him up as a child and it still had the same effect now that he was almost a man. He couldn’t resist to splish the water, listen to the sound of it and watch it splash between his fingers. 

Yes, life will be better without Jim Gordon in it. What happened on Saturday was educational. Oswald made a mistake, a horrible misjudgement, but his eyes were open now, he had learned from it. Perhaps it was all for the best. Even if it hurt like the worst. 

~*~  

The weirdest thing happened to Oswald when he returned to school. He realized that by the end of the week he was actually over Jim Gordon. It was really strange because he’d always thought his feelings for Jim were very strong. And they were! But now suddenly he did not miss the guy. He was still hurt, yes, but the whole thing was more like a wake up call. As if he could now see Jim Gordon clearly for what he truly was. And it turned out what he truly was someone Oswald didn’t like. Had he really been this blind and delusional about who Jim was? 

“The guy I thought I liked, he wasn’t real.” he told Ed. “I fell for an idea I had created in my head.” 

“You fell for a fiction.” Ed agreed. 

They were having their lunch outside this time, sitting on a bench. It was quiet since no one came around here at this time of day and they decided to take advantage of that. No one disturbed them here and the weather was rather nice. 

“Exactly.” Oswald nodded, taking a generous bite of his sandwich. “Mmmm, those are  _ good _ !” 

“I’m glad you like them.” Ed smiled. “And I’m glad you’re over Gordon. I never liked him for you.” 

“Oh?” Oswald chewed with appetite. “You didn’t?” 

“Well, I’ve told you so. Repeatedly.”

That was true. 

“You have, yes. And you were right, my friend. I didn’t see it properly but I do now.” 

Ed beamed at him. 

“Speaking of delusions,” Oswald began, licking at his lips and removing a few crumbs from his mouth, “are you sure your feelings for Kristen aren’t similar to mine for Gordon?” 

Ed’s grin disappeared immediately. 

“Are you sure you’re not falling for an idea, instead of the actual person?” Oswald elaborated. 

“That is different.” Ed said quickly, his voice low and robotic. 

Oswald seemed amused. “Why? Because you ‘actually have a chance’ with her?” he cited. 

“No. Because I truly love her.” 

“Ah. Of course. Like you loved football.” Oswald supplied. 

Ed put his sandwich down and pursed his lips. Oswald chuckled and tapped him on the shoulder. 

“Fine, fine. It’s true love. Sorry I expressed doubts. What do I know about it anyway?” 

“You don’t mean that. You still doubt the depths of my feelings for Miss Kringle.” 

“You sound like a book character. It’s adorable.” Oswald grinned. “But no, I do mean it. If you really like her so much, good for you.”  

Ed still seemed unconvinced. 

“Hey, if you love someone, you go for it. Love is a beautiful and rare thing. And life only gives you one true love. When you find it, you run--”  _ in the opposite direction _ , he thought. He didn’t want to feel love anymore if all it would bring him was pain. 

“Oswald?” 

He snapped out of it. “Um, sorry, yes. You run to it. That’s what I meant to say.” 

Ed smiled. “Did your mother tell you that?” 

Oswald grinned. “However did you guess?”  

They laughed some more but then suddenly Edward’s face changed. The cheerfulness was gone and he was glaring at something behind Oswald’s shoulder. He looked quite enraged, angrier than Oswald had ever seen him before. 

Oswald turned around subtly to follow his friend’s glaring eyes to see… oh. Kristen and her latest boyfriend.

“Daughtry is a brute. She deserves better.” Ed said. 

Oswald bit his lip, considering. “I think she likes them that way, Ed.” he said carefully. “Her previous boyfriends are all smug jocks like him.” 

“What are you saying?” 

“I’m saying that perhaps she has a type.” 

Ed glared again. This time at Oswald. “That’s wrong. He could not be her type. I saw-- two days ago I saw a bruise on her wrist.” 

“You think it’s from him?” 

“I  _ know  _ it is. She said so too.” 

“If she’s unhappy why wouldn’t she end it?” 

“Perhaps she’s scared of him. Perhaps I should confront him.” 

“Ed! Ed, no!” Oswald said quickly, worried. “You can’t take him and even if you did, that would not get Kristen to like you. You’ll just end up beaten up.” 

“The two of us together, Oswald. We could do it! Scare him off.” 

“Are you  _ insane  _ !? The only way the two of us could physically fight a guy like Dougherty would be if we actually had knives or guns.” 

Ed gave him a strange look that made Oswald shiver. 

“Ed…” he warned. 

“No, of course not! I’m not suggesting-- no!” Ed reassured. 

Meanwhile Kristen and her boyfriend were already out of sight. Oswald was glad for it. “Good.” he said. “Because that would’ve been a terrible idea.” 

“I know.” Ed nodded. 

“It would only get us in trouble. Who wants trouble the last months of school?” 

“Not us.” 

“Definitely not us.” 

Ed sucked in a deep breath. “Perhaps I misunderstood. Maybe she just really likes them… abusive.” 

Oswald frowned. “That doesn’t sound quite right but as long as it’s helping you cope.” 

Ed finished his sandwich and sprang up to his feet rather hastily. 

“Where are you going?” Oswald called after him. 

“To talk to Kristen. If she likes strong men, I’ll be strong. I’ll ask her out.” 

“Ed, she’s with Dougherty. This can’t end well!” 

“I can’t just not talk to her! I can’t just sit in the corner and watch her with him! I can’t be that guy anymore!” 

“Okay, but going after his girlfriend isn’t wise.” 

“I appreciate the advice. But I won’t be a miserable scared imbecile like before.” 

“You were never that, Ed...” 

“I’m beginning to feel quite well about myself recently. And I’m ready to talk to Kristen. Make her life better. She deserves that.” 

Oswald was still not convinced that this was a good idea. But Ed could be so stubborn sometimes! Besides, he wasn’t exactly asking for Oswald’s permission. 

~*~ 

It was past midnight when he heard the knocking. At first he thought it was his mother but then he realized it came from his window. Someone was throwing small rocks at his windowpane. 

Oswald got up from bed and went to check who it was and what the hell was going on. 

“Ed?” he shout-whispered. “Ed, what are you doing?” 

Even in the dark of night, Ed looked nervous and strangely fidgety. Oswald hadn’t seen him like that in weeks. 

“Oswald, I need you to come down, please.” he replied. “Something… something happened.” 

When a friend asks for help, you help them. Oswald sneaked downstairs even if he had no idea what could be so urgent that Ed had to come throw rocks at his window at 2 am. 

“Oswald! Finally!” 

Oswald rolled his eyes. “Couldn’t you call?” 

“No. I couldn’t risk it going on record that I called you in the middle of the night.” Ed said, his voice low and deadly serious. 

Oswald frowned. “But why? And what’s that on your face?” 

Ed wiped the few dark drops from his cheek and frowned at them. “Oh, that’s just blood.” 

Oswald’s eyebrows shot up in puzzlement. “What.” 

“Blood. My face was covered in blood.” 

Oswald gaped dumbly. His confusion seemed to perplex Ed. 

“It’s-- well, there’s no other way to explain it, really. It’s blood.” 

“What happened, Ed? Did a dog attack you? Are you hurt?” 

“I’m not hurt. I’m-- well, I-- Long story….  _ Wild  _ story….” Ed chuckled nervously. He spoke fast and low and kind of tense. It all looked really creepy at that time of night. “I killed Daugherty.” 

Oswald gaped even more. “You’re joking, right?” 

“No. No, I’m not joking. Dougherty is dead and I killed him. I stabbed him. Several times… It felt-- um… it was--” 

“Shh, don’t talk now.” 

“But, Oswald, I killed--” 

“Stop saying that!” Oswald grabbed him by the arm and squeezed tightly. “You killed  _ no one _ , Ed. Do you hear me?” 

“I don’t underst--” 

“You. Killed. No one.” Oswald repeated firmly. 

Ed swallowed and nodded. 

“Where’s he now?” Oswald asked, suddenly sounding surprisingly calm. 

“In the trunk of my car.” 

“How original. We need to get rid of him.” 

“We do?” 

“Did someone see you?” 

“You saw me.” 

“No, I mean, at the crime scene. Did someone see you kill him?” 

“I don’t think so…” 

“Good. I’m gonna need a few things and we can go.” 

“Oswald, wait.” Ed looked like he was trying to put into words something he couldn’t quite understand yet. “Are you’re helping me dispose of a body?” he said like he couldn’t believe this was happening. 

Oswald couldn’t believe this was happening either but now wasn’t the time for panic. They had to act or Ed could get into serious trouble! But first of all, he needed Ed to calm down. Panicked-Ed was no good at all. Oswald couldn’t lift a dead body by himself after all. 

He grabbed a better hold on Ed and looked him carefully in the eyes. 

“Ed, I want you to repeat after me. If there’s no body, there’s no crime. Come on, repeat after me. No body, no crime.” 

Slowly Ed started repeating the words with Oswald and soon he was at least slightly less in shock. Oswald returned home to get his old pair of boots and a few other things he thought would come in handy and they were ready to go. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist adding a small Oswald in the bathtub scene. Oswald in the bathtub is just too precious ^_^  
> I hope you're enjoying the story!


	5. Chapter 5

Dougherty’s face was twisted in an ugly grimace. Even in death he looked condescending. Oswald disliked the guy. All the insults, mocking and and beatings he had received from Dougherty over the last years, all of it didn’t matter now. Because Dougherty was dead. Ed had killed him. 

They were currently digging a hole in the ground. A lonely grave in the woods. No one ever came to these woods, everything of import was in the more central and habitable parts of Gotham. Even homeless people preferred the streets of Gotham. Secluded areas terrified people, more than bringing peace. In a place like Gotham, where everything was loud and noisy, silence felt morbid and eery. It was not surprising that nearly everyone stirred away from it. The only reason this forest was still in tact was because it was a home to some protected woodland creature or other. Lucky for Oswald and Ed. 

As one might expect, there was a lot of blood. Oswald was glad he brought a spare set of clothes with him. And his old boots which he’d definitely burn after they were done. Done with burying a dead body… Theoretically Oswald had a vague idea what they were supposed to do. He had read a lot of detective stories, watched movies and even took particular interest in several forensic reports and old crime reports. It was Gotham, after all. One had crime coming out of one’s ears. Oswald had found the topic interesting before, writing several papers on old days mob bosses and dons that used to live years ago. He was surprised to discover, however, that Ed, too, had some theoretical knowledge on how to dispose of a body. In a way, it was a relief to be equals in this. With the difference that Ed was the actual killer and Oswald was only tagging along for the fun of it. So to speak. 

“If we put these with the body, it’ll deteriorate faster.” Ed said, grinning as he took out some strangely-looking herbs and liquids from his pocket. “Even if they do dig him up someday in the future, there’d be no fingerprints left by then. No one would be able to trace it back to us.” 

Oswald nodded. “Good. Now hold that end!” 

They carefully lifted Dougherty out of the car truck and carried him towards the pit. 

“How did this happen anyway? I thought you were going to talk to Kristen!” Oswald groaned at the effort of holding a heavy corpse. 

“I lied.” Ed said. 

“What?” Oswald gasped. “We’re best friends, Ed! Why would you lie to me?”

Ed melted into a smile, his grip on his end of the body slacking a little as he got distracted. “Aww, I’m your best friend?” 

Oswald rolled his eyes. “We’re burying a body together. I think that makes us best friends now. Officially. Now would you  _ please _ ?”

He eyed the dead Dougherty to remind his  _ best friend  _ to not let go. The smile remained on Ed’s face as they threw him into the gaping ground. Oswald had to roll his eyes once again. Sometimes it felt like Ed was two different people. One soft kitten-like kitty-cat and the other -- a murderous psycho. If he had to be honest, Oswald wasn’t sure which one he preferred. Perhaps it was a combination of both? Or perhaps this whole situation made something snap inside his brain. Either ways, the body was dumped in the grave and they started covering it with earth. By the time they were done it was already beginning to brighten up. 

This was by far the weirdest thing they’ve done together! It was also exhausting. By the end of it Oswald could hardly get his breath back. His muscles ached and all he wanted was another bath. 

“We need to burn your clothes. Mine too.” Oswald said. “And we need to never speak of this again.” 

“ _ If you have me, you want to share me. If you share me, you haven't got me. What am I? _ ” 

“Again with the riddles, Ed? Even now?” Oswald groaned. 

“Do you give up?” 

“The answer’s a secret, Ed. I’m not an idiot.” 

Ed seemed pleased. “Shall we make a pledge to never tell anyone about it?” 

Oswald gave him a look. 

“What?” Ed asked and somehow he managed to look innocent again. 

“That’s ridiculous.” Oswald said.

“It’s what they do in the movies.” 

“It’s dumb.” 

“It’s mysterious!” Ed grinned excitedly. 

“I think you need to get some rest. Sleep this whole thing off.” He took Ed by the arm and guided him back towards the car. “And just in case, I’m driving.” 

~*~ 

They were not supposed to talk about it but Edward seems unable to stop. Every second they were alone, he’d start telling Oswald about his feelings and thoughts on the matter, sinking back into memories and retelling the same story over and over again. It was becoming really troublesome because Oswald didn’t want someone to overhear and arrest them. The last thing they needed was the GCPD on their tracks. Ed was becoming careless. 

“And then when he told me it was none of my business to defend Kristen, I told him I won’t allow him to hurt her. And he said ‘What you gonna do about it?’ and then I--” 

“-- and then something snapped in you and you stabbed him. I know.” Oswald rolled his eyes. “What I still don’t get is why were you carrying a  _ knife  _ on you if you had no intention of hurting Dougherty?” 

“I told you, I wanted to scare him. I’m not intimidating enough to do that but a knife is.” 

“Well, whatever happened happened. We’d better not talk about it anymore.  _ As we said we would  _ !” 

“Right.” Ed agreed but he couldn’t stand still. Excitement was practically radiating from him. Less than a few seconds later he was at it again, “When I first felt his blood spilling on my fingers I was terrified but at the same time so powerful! He was a brute and an idiot and he got what he deserved. You should’ve seen his face, Oswald! The surprise! He was stunned! He did not see  _ that  _ coming! Ha!” Ed laughed. 

Oswald sucked in a deep breath, summoning all his patience, and then exhaled loudly. “Ed. I want us to take the pledge.” he said, voice even and tired. 

“What?” 

“The pledge to never speak of these events ever again? I want us to take it.” 

“I thought you said the pledge was dumb.” 

“I changed my mind. It’s not dumb, it’s mysterious. Let’s do it.” 

That prospect seemingly shifted Ed’s enthusiasm from talking about his first murder to being silent about it forever. Lucky Oswald. They might just get away with it after all. 

~*~ 

Things changed slightly after Dougherty went missing. A bunch of his footballer friends and girls that apparently found him dreamy, also his parents were quite confused at his sudden disappearance. Surprisingly, his parents were the ones to worry least of all. Apparently he’d done such scamps to them before. They suspected he’d be back within a few weeks. A month at the most. Oswald felt kind of thrilled to be the only person who knew the truth. Well, him and Ed but Ed was preoccupied at the moment.  _ Kristen  _ seemed very upset by her boyfriend disappearing off like that. Oswald noticed the way she looked lost and not quite herself. Ed, being the gentleman he was, somehow always managed to accidentally find himself around her, comforting her and giving her a shoulder to cry on. It was no surprise, of course, Ed’s been crushing on Kristen for months and now was his chance. But that didn’t change the fact that Oswald found it annoying. No more hanging out with Ed after classes, no more lunching together. Ed would even skip their usual library study date. It was frustrating. Ed had less time for Oswald now because he was constantly around Kristen Kringle. Oswald could  _ kill  _ her! Well… not literally…. He had to be more careful when using metaphors from now on. 

“Hey, I know you.” A girl came to him at the cafeteria, blocking his view of Ed giggling with Kristen a few tables away. 

“Do you now.” Oswald said not particularly interested. 

“Yeah. You’re Penguin, aren’t you?” she continued. 

The despised nickname got him to look up, his mouth twisted downwards in displeasure. She did look kind of familiar… although he couldn’t remember why. 

“I’m Ivy.” she offered him her hand. He did not take it. “They call me a freak.” she supplied, apparently unable to take a hint and leave. 

Instead she sat down next to him on his table. Why were people suddenly so persistent to sit next to him this last year? First Ed, now Ivy. Damn! Was he popular all the sudden? 

“Look, Ivy, I appreciate your efforts at socializing but could you not involve me in this, please?” he said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. 

“Why?” 

He blinked. “Never mind.” Why would he even bother? He always got the crazy ones. 

“You’re friends with that tall guy with the glasses, aren’t you?” She continued as if having conversations during lunch was something they always did. 

“Yes.” Oswald said annoyed. 

“I heard my friend Selena talk about him crushing on Kristen. I guess they’re together now.” she said. 

Oswald’s eyes went wide. “Together? You mean, they’re  _ dating  _ !?” 

“Well, isn’t it obvious? They’re always together lately…” 

“But I thought they were friends and Ed was only trying to--” he cut himself off. Well, that made sense. Ed would totally ditch him for a girlfriend. Even after everything Oswald did for him. Typical! The unbelievable part of this story was that Ed hadn’t bragged to Oswald about it yet. Perhaps it wasn’t official yet, or it was relatively new? 

“Are you alright? You look like an angry bird.” Ivy noted. 

Oswald huffed. “I don’t hear  _ that  _ often.” 

“Birds like plants.” she muttered, neither here nor there. “I like plants too.” 

And that was when Oswald remembered where he met Ivy before! At that unfortunate party when Jim Gordon showed his true colors to him. She was the red-haired girl that he saw throwing up. He thought she was babbling about plants then because she was drunk but apparently that was her default setting. She was just a weirdo. 

He took a better look at her. She wasn’t unpleasant but she was definitely different than the rest of her schoolmates. Her red hair was messy even if she appeared to have put some effort into combing it. Her clothes were old, worn out and out of style. Perhaps she came from a poor family. Or just didn’t care about her appearance. She wasn’t ugly, though, she was a pretty girl. But her beauty was not the kind that stuck in your face. It was subtle, there only if you took your time and a better look. 

“Pengy? You seem to zone out often. It’s funny.” she said. 

Since when did she start calling him  _ Pengy  _ ?

“Don’t call me Pengy.” he warned. 

She did not make that promise. 

Over the next couple of days Ivy just sort of stuck around and by the end of the week, she had turned herself into sort of an accessory for him, always there by his side whenever he showed up at school. She wouldn’t go away no matter what he tried. It made him wonder… Perhaps it wasn’t such a bad thing to have Ivy around. Ed was busy with Kristen. Why wouldn’t Oswald find a new friend too? 

~*~ 

“Have you applied to colleges?” Ivy asked one afternoon. They were hanging out together in the park. She wanted to show him her new science project. It was about plants. Surpriiiise.  

“I have. Only one though.” 

“Gotham University?” 

He nodded. “Gotham’s my home. Why would one want to leave home?” 

She hummed, her fingers abscently stroking the leaves of one of the ferns. “Yes. That’s a very good point.” 

“They still haven’t replied to me though.” he added, biting at his lip. “What about you?” 

“Oh, I didn’t apply anywhere.” She shook her head. “I can’t afford it. I’m not smart enough anyway.” 

“Don’t say that. Perhaps a scholarship?” 

“Who’d give  _ me  _ a scholarship?” she laughed. There was an odd form of resignation in her voice. The familiar thought that good things would not happen to her and she was used to that by now. 

Oswald felt kind of bad for her. She was a sweet person but she would always think so little of herself. He didn’t know how to help her with that exactly and sometimes it irritated him that she’d just dismiss herself like that. Like she was unimportant or unworthy. He wanted to make her snap out of it but instead whatever he tried to say came off as plain meanness. 

“I think Ed might get accepted but he hasn’t spoken to me about it yet.” he said, just to change the subject before he said something stupid again. 

He didn’t talk about Ed a lot these days. He’d rather keep it all to himself. Things weren’t great between them. They weren’t bad either. Ed still called every night to catch up with Oswald. It was usually to shower Oswald with information about Kristen and what he and Kristen were up to. He sometimes showed up by Oswald’s locker to grin at him like a fool and share riddles about Kristen’s beauty. Those were particularly cheesy but Ed never waited for Oswald to tell him his opinion. Yes, things weren’t bad per se but they weren’t great either. It was hardly anything like the inseparable bond they used to share before and Oswald was ashamed to admit that he missed that. He missed Ed with his stupid riddles and constant company. Ivy was a nice distraction, but she was not Ed. 

“He’d tell you if he gets accepted.” Ivy said. “You’re best friends.” 

Oswald sighed. “Not so sure if he wouldn’t just forget.” 

“Pfft, of course he wouldn’t. He may be slightly distracted these weeks but that’s only because kissing is new to him.” 

“Riiight.” 

“Once he gets bored of it, he’ll be back to you.” 

“You make it sound like we’re married or something.” Oswald laughed. 

She laughed too. “Aren’t friendships a marriage of sort? True friendships, that is.” 

Oswald smiled softly. “I guess. In a way. Perhaps. I don’t know.” 

She shrugged. “I wouldn’t know either. The only person who talked to me before you was Selena. And she’s not here now.” 

“Ah, well, that’s too bad.” 

“She always does that. Disappears for months. I’m surprised she isn’t expelled yet.” 

Oswald lied down on the grass, looking up at the calm blue sky. “It’s Gotham.” 

“That’s everybody’s excuse for everything.” she observed. 

He furrowed his brows thoughtfully. “I guess we like blaming things that can’t prove us wrong.”  

They remained silent after that. Oswald felt relaxed for once, the fresh air making him sleepy and languid. He yawned. 

“Will you come to prom with me?” Ivy asked out of the blue. 

Oswald’s eyes snapped open. “Um, what?” 

“You know prom. At the very end of the year?” 

“Yes, I know prom. I just--” he sat up. “I didn’t expect to be going….” he said honestly. 

“I didn’t either. But we’re friends. Ed will probably be going with Kristen.” 

Oswald deflated. “Yes, he probably would.” 

“I just don’t want to miss out on it. I’ve always been the freak, I was hoping this one night might be my Cinderella night. You know what I mean?” 

He nodded softly. “I know exactly what you mean.” 

“Does this mean you’ll think about it?” 

He shook his head. “No.” 

She deflated but did not protest any further. He smirked as he elaborated. 

“I won’t think about it, because I don’t need to think about it.” he said. “I want us to go together.” 

She beamed at him and put a flower in his hair which he instantly removed with an eye roll. 


	6. Chapter 6

As usual, the school hall was a loud chaotic space where anyone could push everyone and get away with it. Oswald kept close to his locker, putting away his notebooks from his previous class and hoping to just stay invisible until the next one. It was then when Ed suddenly showed up, propping himself almost theatrically on the locker next to Oswald’s and grinning. 

It’s been awhile since Oswald had even seen Ed face to face. Usually only from a distance or from his texts every evening. He wondered if this wasn’t about university. Did Ed finally get his acceptance letter? The pleased grin certainly fitted the occasion. 

“I’m going to ask Kristen to be my prom date today.” Ed said. 

Oh. Well, at least he seemed happy. 

Oswald fumbled for the notebooks he needed for his next class. “That’s not really a surprise.” he replied. He really had been expecting that. 

“I hope she says  _ yes _ .” Ed continued, a dreamy look on his face. He was completely consumed in his own world of Kristen Kringle. Oswald did his best to ignore this because for some reason it was getting on his nerves.  

“Well, it’ll be surprising if she said  _ no _ . She  _ is  _ your girlfriend, after all.” he said, closing his locker with somewhat more force than he meant to. 

Ed’s face deflated slightly. He frowned. “She still seems to worry about Dougherty’s disappearance, though.” he said quieter. “Perhaps I should tell her…” 

Oswald’s eyes darted around them, weary that someone in the hall might hear despite the loud noise. 

“Ed, no!” he whispered, voice concerned but also demanding. “If you do that-- Ed, please, you can’t!” 

Ed looked at him pleadingly for what seemed like an eternity but then finally he agreed with Oswald. “Yes, you’re right. We pledged we won’t talk about it.” 

“We did. Not a word!” Oswald reminded. “Besides, it’d be suicide to tell anyone, let alone  _ her _ .”  

“It’s just, we’ve connected, Oswald. She  _ likes me  _ now. She  _ lets me kiss her _ .” 

Oswald suppressed an eye roll, instead pursing his lips. “Well, she won’t after you tell her what you did to her ex.” he warned. 

Ed sighed. “It’s weighing on me.”  

“You’re stronger than you appear. You can take it.” Oswald tapped him on the shoulder a few times. He may have been a little insensitive about Ed’s feelings on the matter but he couldn’t help it. It was irritating the way a guy with Ed’s intelligence would turn into a fool for a girl! Although Oswald was probably the last person to criticize, considering his own experience with James Gordon.  

Ed let out another pained sigh. “How are you coping with it?” 

Oswald shrugged. “I’m fine.” 

“Mhm.” Ed nodded absentmindedly. “Did you get your acceptance letter from Gotham University?”  

Another painful topic. Oswald really didn’t want to crash his mother’s hopes and dreams and Ed knew that. He was privy to how important getting accepted to college was for Oswald and why. He’d been there when the two were sending their applications after all and he was aware that Oswald wanted to please his mother and make her proud of him. 

Oswald shook his head, biting at his lower lip. “No, not yet. You?” 

“Oh, I did. A while ago.” Ed said, looking slightly awkward. “I was going to tell you but I sort of wanted it to be after you’ve gotten yours. So that we could celebrate it together.” 

“Ah. That’s sweet.” Oswald smiled. It was a lovely thought. The smile slowly faded away though, replaced by a thoughtful look of concern. “But I still haven’t gotten mine. It’s taking longer than expected. P-perhaps--” 

“It’ll happen.” Ed said encouragingly, his hand on Oswald’s shoulder. 

“Yeah.” Oswald forced himself to look cheerful but it still came off uneasy and fake. “I’m going to prom with Ivy, by the way.” He said to change the subject. 

Ed looked quite surprised. “The red-haired girl with the giant sweater?” He asked, pulling his hand back to himself. 

Oswald frowned. “Yes.  _ Ivy _ . Her name’s  _ Ivy _ .” 

Ed furrowed his brows. “She’s a bit peculiar, isn’t she?” he said. “I didn’t know you two were--” 

“We’re friends.” Oswald said quickly. 

“Ah. Well, that’s good. I’m really happy for you, Oswald.” 

His words were meant to be pleasant but his smile was rather tight, his entire body suddenly becoming sort of tense. Oswald didn’t think much of it. Ed could be quite strange at times. 

But what he said about Ivy, the way he talked about her, made Oswald wonder… Did  _ everyone  _ dismiss Ivy like that? What did they talk about her at school? Oswald never paid much attention to such things because he usually disliked what he heard about himself. Also he didn’t care about people. But Ivy? 

_ Freak. Crazy plant girl. That weirdo. She’s creeping me out. Red-haired zombie freak. Look at what she’s wearing! Whenever she looks at me, I want to turn the other way and leave because she’s like a demonic witch or something. Better avoid eye-contact or the freak might come talk to you. I wish she was dead or something.  _

And those were the  _ nice  _ things. Oswald’s lips were pursed into a tight line. 

_ I was hoping this one night might be my Cinderella night. You know?  _

Oh, he  _ did  _ know. And perhaps it was too late for him, but not for her. True, other people’s opinions didn’t matter to him but to her those things meant a lot and he wanted to give her something nice. He wanted her to feel pretty. Because she was! Even if all those idiots at school didn’t see it, Oswald knew she was beautiful, stunning even! He couldn’t let her graduate thinking less of herself because of what others said about her! He’d  _ make  _ them see. He’d make them regret every vile and poisonous word they uttered against her. And then she’d feel better about herself. More self-confident and assured of herself. As she should. 

“Ed, I gotta go.” he said with the conviction of a man with a mission. 

Ed’s jaw slacked slightly ajar. “But I thought perhaps we could--” 

“Sorry, but this can’t wait.” 

Without further ado Oswald pulled out his phone from his pocket as he walked away from Ed. “Ivy? Can you meet me outside school in an hour? We have work to do.” 

~*~  

“Are you sure your mother wouldn't’t mind? I don’t want to be a bother.” Ivy muttered awkwardly. 

“I’m sure.” Oswald said and chuckled to himself. “She’ll be glad you’re not a painted lady.” 

Ivy tilted her head. “I don’t understand.” 

“It’s a private joke.” 

“Ah.” 

He rang the doorbell and waited for his mother to let them in. 

“Hi, mom! I’m alive!” he greeted. 

“Oswald! You’re early! So good!” Gertrude beamed, pulling him in for a hug. Then her eyes darted in Ivy’s direction. “And who’s your friend?” she asked curiously.  

“Mother, this is Ivy. She’s a good friend from school. I brought her here because I was hoping you could help us with something. It’s to do with prom.” 

“Prom?” Gertrude seemed to get excited at the word. “Like a ball in a real ballroom!” 

Oswald chuckled, amused at his mother’s theatrics. At times she could be even more dramatic than Ed. Which said a lot! 

“It’s going to be at school, hardly a ballroom, but I do want you to transform Ivy and me into royalty for that night! Can you do that?” 

Ivy let out a surprised excited gasp and shared a grin with Gertrude. The two seemed to understand each other without words. Oswald only smiled pleased with himself. He knew well that if there was one thing his mother loved other than her son and her TV shows, it was beautiful things. Clothes, accessories, chandeliers, candlesticks, curtains, furniture or carpets, anything beautiful, stylish and posh, she loved. So yes, of course, Gertrude was more than happy to help when her son asked her to give Ivy a makeover for prom night. Gertrude’s taste leaned towards what she liked to call ‘aristocratic royal things like an opera house, palaces and home’. And that came in quite handy for Oswald because that was exactly what he was going for. 

~*~  

Oswald was relaxing in the bathtub. The saults were filling the air as the foam surrounded his body, enwrapping him wholly in softness and serenity. It was truly amazing what a good bath could do to a person. Not to mention what a relief it was to his bad leg. The water was soothing the pain he still felt in his injured leg and he let it wash away the stiffness in his muscles, accumulated during the day. No playing with water tonight. Only relaxation. He let himself sink into the pleasant oddly peaceful feeling, allowing his mind to wander free. 

He survived high school. He survived all of it really. Looking back on his years at school he couldn't say they were exactly happy. But they were definitely important. They played a vital role in shaping him into the person he was today. Every bruise, every broken bone, every painful word, they each were bricks in his defensive wall against the world. They made him stronger because he learned from them. And yet certain things managed to slip through that wall. Ivy, for one, with her soft but stubborn refusal to leave his side no matter what he did to push her away. But it wasn’t just her. His mind instinctively brought Ed to his attention. Ed got through Oswald’s defenses, rather easily. Not only that, he managed to win a special place in Oswald’s heart. He became his best friend, someone who understood him, someone who saw him as he was. Someone Oswald cared about. That sort of thing did not usually happen to Oswald. It wasn’t easy for him either, having someone to trust. With his custom distrust of everyone who wasn’t his mother, he’d learned to run from other people like a wounded little bird. But Ed was different. Oswald couldn’t run from Ed. Not for long anyway. 

He sunk deeper into the water, only his head remaining out now, propped on the edge of the tub. His eyes closed as he continued to think about his best friend. His brain supplied images of Ed laughing with Oswald, them hanging out together, talking about everything and nothing, or watching a movie together, discussing ideas or just being dorks together. The way Ed’s eyes sparkled whenever he asked a riddle or talked about the things he liked. The way Ed would nervously fix his glasses or glance at his watch when he was getting impatient about something. Or when he smiled that big smile of his, when he showed off his massive intellect. Oswald appreciated all those things about Ed. The good, the weird and the dubious sides of Edward Nygma. His mind brought out another image. Ed digging that grave. The surprising strength with which he lifted the body. Oswald had no idea Ed had such strong arms! Yes, Ed was very important to Oswald. He didn’t want to lose their friendship. He thrived during those moments when Ed would compliment him or show his admiration. Even if he tried not to show it, Oswald was flattered and deeply moved by those small gestures. Oswald trusted Ed’s judgement and it felt good to have his good opinion. 

He missed Edward. 

He wished Edward was here now. With him. 

He wished Edward would ditch Kristen for a while and spend time with Oswald instead. Again. Like they used to. To be inseparable like before. 

The thought caused an odd tingling sensation to course throughout Oswald’s entire body, making him shiver and gasp. Burning heat suddenly overwhelmed him. His chest filled with something he couldn’t quite distinguish, a pulsing heaviness growing between his legs. His eyes snapped open and he panted, confused and utterly lost. This hadn’t happened before, not like this! His brows arched up and his lips parted as his hand slid down, slowly following the curves of his own feverish body. He needed to know if-- 

Before he could make any sense of the whole situation, there was a short knock on the door, startling him and causing him to nearly jump out of the water. His mother entered the bathroom before he could even utter a sound. His cheeks were burning. He was trying desperately to calm himself down from whatever had suddenly excited him so. 

“I brought you a nice warm tea. Your favorite.” Gertrude said, walking towards him with the cup in her hands. She would do that, bring him things when he was in the bathtub, to help him better relax. She frowned. “Are you alright, liebchen? You look flushed.” 

“I’m fine.” he smiled, bringing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them defensively. “I was just thinking.” 

“Aww, about prom again?” Gertrude gave him a knowing smile. “Ivy is a sweet girl. I like her.”

“Yes. She’s nice.” he replied mechanically. 

His mother placed the tea cup near the tub so that Oswald could easily reach it. 

“She doesn’t wear too much makeup like girls do these days. They only do these things to get innocent naive boys like you into trouble. Those hussies!” 

He sighed. “No one’s getting me into trouble, mom. Why do you always think I’d run off with some painted lady?” 

“A mother always worries.” Gertrude assured. “But Ivy’s a nice girl. I like Ivy.” 

So she’d told him, repeatedly.  

“And it’s so good you want to help her.” she continued. 

“I don’t like what they say about her in school.” he said, feeling himself relax once again. “It wouldn’t really matter if she didn’t let it affect the way she thinks of herself. But it does. And that’s just wrong.” 

His mother nodded in agreement. She knelt down next to the bathtub and started rubbing him with the sponge like she sometimes did. Oswald was glad that by now he’d calmed down completely from his previous strange reaction. 

“There’s no other reason you want to cheer Ivy up?” she asked, pouting slightly and smiling as if she knew something he didn’t.  

“No, why--” It took Oswald a moment to realize what his mother was hinting at. But when he did he burst into a slightly manic laughter. 

“Mother, I  _ assure  _ you, it’s nothing like that.” 

“You said it yourself she’s beautiful and nice. And you two get along so well.” 

“That doesn’t mean I like her  _ that  _ way, mom. You know it. Ivy and I are going to prom as friends. And I’m glad about it.” 

He couldn’t help sulking slightly and his mother reached out to stroke his wet hair. 

“Aww, my darling boy.” she said lovingly, kissing his forehead. “I know that football captain hurt your feelings, even though he seemed so nice. But there’s no reason you can’t be happy one day. Find true love and and once you do--” 

“-- run to it.” Oswald smiled back at her, already knowing what she was about to say. 

She chuckled fondly. “You already know.” 

They shared a comfortable silence for a brief moment and then she spoke again. “I wanted to tell you that Ivy’s dress will be ready by tomorrow.” 

“Thanks, mom.” 

“No need to thank me, silly, I am your mother. Whom can you trust if not your mother? I do these things for you because I want to, not because I have to.” 

Once again Oswald’s heart was filled with warm affection and gratitude towards her for loving him so unconditionally. He knew well that she’d love him no matter what, even if she knew about him helping Ed burying a body, even if he didn’t get into college. But he still wanted to be the man she wished he were. He wanted to make her happy and proud. Oh, how dearly he wanted that! 


	7. Chapter 7

Oswald decided not to overthink the bathtub incident.  _ Nothing  _ really happened anyway. It was the relaxation of his body and mind that brought up the unusual reaction. The fact that he was actively thinking about his best friend at the time was pure coincidence. It was even funny -- he would tell Ed so that they both laugh about it but… he preferred not to. So that was the last of it. 

Speaking of Ed… Ever since their last conversation near Oswald’s locker Ed was acting strange. He was irritable, he pouted a lot and frankly he resembled a tall and skinny angry toddler. At first Oswald assumed it was the tension of all the school work getting to his friend. Then he thought perhaps it had something to do with their classmates, maybe he was being bullied again and hadn’t mentioned it? At one point he even considered it to be a Kristen Kringle issue. But in the end he had to ask because he couldn’t take Ed’s weird behavior any longer and the thought that perhaps it was just Oswald who involuntarily had caused it weighted on him too much.  

Luckily for him, the chance to speak to Ed for longer than a few minutes or a few texts came sooner than he expected. Kristen was skipping school that day so Ed said he’d have lunch with Oswald. Needless to say Oswald instantly went to Ivy to ask her to sit somewhere else. 

“Just for today. I really need to speak to him about something and it’s rather between the two of us.” 

Ivy arched an eyebrow. “How come he’s suddenly back on your table?” 

Oswald chewed on his lower lip nervously. “Kristen’s not at school today….” 

“Mhm.” Ivy crossed her arms on her chest. “So you’re his backup plan? Kristen’s substitute?” 

Oswald pursed his lips. “I just need to talk to him, okay?” 

“Sure. I’ll give you your privacy to discuss your marriage.” 

“Ivy.” He groaned. 

She only smirked. “Best friends are family.” 

Weather he liked it or not, Ivy did have a point. Ed was only returning to their tradition of having lunch together because his girlfriend wasn’t around. The thought stung but there was little Oswald could do about it. In fact, what even could he do, kill Kristen Kringle? Ha! 

Ed settled his tray on the table and started eating in silence. He didn’t even greet Oswald properly. The whole thing was getting really disturbing. 

“Did I do something? Are you mad at me?” Oswald blurted out. He had meant to broach the subject more gracefully but then again fortune favors the brave so better grab the bull by the horns. 

Ed frowned. “What do you mean?” He was abscently stirring his food with the fork, not really eating it, just sort of playing with it. 

“Don’t act clueless, Ed. Something’s bothering you. You’ve been weird around me for the last three days.” 

Ed looked genuinely puzzled at that and for a moment Oswald started questioning his own judgement. But surely he wasn’t  _ imagining  _ it. The most recent example of Ed’s weird behavior was when Oswald asked him if he would like them to have movie night this weekend -- like they used to -- and Ed just snapped saying, _ ‘Aren’t you too busy having movie nights with Ivy?’ _ Ed  _ never  _ knocked movie night! It made no sense at all why he’d say that. 

“I know you, Ed. Something’s upsetting you. If it’s something I did, please tell me. I  _ swear  _ whatever it is, I didn’t do it on purpose.” 

Ed’s frown deepened. “You didn’t do anything, Oswald. I’m not mad at you.” he assured. 

Oswald examined his friend carefully. It didn’t look like Ed was lying. 

“If it’s not me, then what is it?” Oswald asked, genuinely concerned. 

Ed shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t even know I was acting strange until you just mentioned it.” 

Oswald considered that for a moment. “Did something happen with Kristen?” he asked carefully. He wasn’t particularly keen on the idea of listening to Ed’s endless gabber about Kristen Kringle but perhaps that was better than him being distant and not sharing.   

Ed shook his head. “Things are fine with Kristen.” he said, sounding not even remotely as happy about it as he usually would. Was he ill? 

“Okay. That’s beginning to scare me now.” Oswald said. 

“I’m not acting weird! Just leave me alone!” Ed gasped, taking Oswald and half the cafeteria by surprise with his outburst. 

Oswald raised his hands in mock-surrender and gaped at his friend. “Fine! Jeez!” 

Ed looked around, embarrassed. “Sorry… I didn’t mean to snap at you, I was just--” 

“Acting weird?” Oswald offered, pointedly. 

Ed pursed his lips. 

Oswald sighed. “Look. I get it you’re tense. But do you want to talk about it? I’m here for you.” 

As Edward considered his reply Oswald’s phone buzzed. It was a text from Ivy. Apparently his mother had officially finished the prom dress and Ivy was going to try it out after school today. She was inviting Oswald so that they could check out how they looked together all dressed up and fancy. Oswald grinned at the phone screen. Ivy was such a dork! When he looked up Ed was eyeing him with an evaluating mistrust. 

“It’s Ivy.” Oswald explained, still smiling. “Her prom dress is ready. We’re going to try out our ‘costumes’ this afternoon.” 

Ed’s brows furrowed some more. “I didn’t take you for one to care about such things. Prom and socializing.” 

Oswald chuckled amusedly. “I didn’t either. And I don’t! But this has been more fun than I anticipated. I want us to look really good together.” 

He meant it. Ivy was there for him when Ed kind of ditched him for Kristen and Oswald appreciated that, even if he didn’t show it to her much. He wanted prom to be Ivy’s special night. 

“I see.” Ed said, his lips a tight line. 

“Surely you and Kristen are excited about what you two are going to wear?” He could imagine Ed fussing in front of the mirror, trying to find the perfect tuxedo.  

“Not so much.” he replied. That same old slightly robotic vibe was back to his voice. 

“Come on! Not even a little excited? I half-expected you to go off looking for a sparkly green tuxedo and terrifying Kristen with your taste.” Oswald teased. 

Ed did not laugh. Not even a smile. 

Oswald sighed. “There you go being weird again.” 

“Was I doing it now?” 

Oswald nodded. “You kind of were.”  

“I’m sorry, Oswald. Perhaps I’m tired. Or it’s nerves. About college.” 

Oswald nodded again. “Yes. Must be that.” he agreed. The mention of college put him at unease again. There was  _ still  _ no reply from Gotham University. 

“I should go. There’s a book I need to return.” Ed said suddenly. 

“Want me to come with you? I have time and--” 

“No need. I’ll see you around. And I’ll text you tonight at our usual time.” 

Oswald nodded, biting at his lip. Offering Ed to join him and then consequently being rejected made him feel like an old shoe. Desperately craving Ed’s undivided attention like some clingy unwanted pet and being shooed repeatedly, unneeded. At least Ed would text him tonight. But even that little tradition of theirs became hurtful for Oswald. He couldn’t really tell if Ed was texting because he wanted to talk to Oswald, or because of his compulsion to do things in an exacting and orderly fashion. Perhaps texting Oswald had turned into a chore, not a choice. Something Ed felt  _ compelled  _ to do, instead of  _ wanting  _ to do. Kristen was now the lucky person Ed wanted to spend his time with, not Oswald. Oswald was… just the old shoe. 

~*~

Gertrude Kapelput knew how to accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative when it came to feminine beauty. She took great pleasure in treating Ivy as the daughter she never had during those hours they spent together working on Ivy’s new dress. It seemed like they both had a lot of fun too. Unused to motherly attention, Ivy was quite happy to spend time with Gertrude. She thanked Oswald several times for it, not only for the clothes Gertrude was making for her, but also for the experience. Apparently his mother was sharing some female advices with Ivy, whatever that meant. Oswald really didn’t want to know what the two have been discussing. He never understood what ‘girl talk’ was supposed to mean. Talk was talk. Did gender really matter? Then again, perhaps it was better he didn't know anyway. 

When they were done with school for the day, Oswald and Ivy rused to Oswald’s home straight away. Gertrude seemed as excited about it as Ivy so Oswald gave the two their space and retreated to his own bedroom to try on the suit he was going to wear to prom. His mother had altered it a little bit, pressed it and prepared it with great care, like she always did. But when he put it on and faced the mirror he couldn’t help but frown at his reflection. His fingers brushed against the fine material. It was a lovely suit, considering that they couldn’t afford anything too expensive. Oswald loved it! He felt comfortable and at home wearing the suit. And yet there was a heavy weight in his heart. He wasn’t quite sure what that was about until Ivy knocked on his bedroom door to show off her own dress. 

She stood in the doorway, smiling brightly, blooming before his eyes like a flower. Her red curls were beautifully styled, her face was nicely clean with soft makeup that only accentuated her natural beauty. The green dress Gertrude had sewn for her enraptured her figure elegantly. She was  _ stunning _ ! There was no other word for it but that. 

“Well? What do you think?” She turned around slowly, allowing him a better view. 

His mother truly did bring up Ivy’s beauty in a way that everyone could see it. Just like Oswald wanted! And yet…

“You look beautiful, Ivy.” he said, but his throat constricting and his eyes were blinking rapidly as he felt tears budding there.  

“Oswald, what is it?” Ivy asked worriedly. She crossed the distance between them and gave him a concerned look. “Are you alright?”  

“I just--” he glanced down at his hands, picking at the flesh around his nails. “Perhaps you should go with someone else, Ivy.” 

She visibly deflated. “You don’t want to go with me?” 

He didn’t look up to see her face but the sound of her voice alone was enough to show him she was upset. 

“It’s not that.” he said. “But I want this to be a special night for you. I want the entire school to see how stupid they were for not noticing what a great person you are.” 

“Aww, Oswald!” 

“B-but I’m not-- But to get that message across it’d be better if you went with someone more-- someone who’s  _ not me _ .” 

His eyes were still cast down at his fidgeting fingers when he saw Ivy’s hands wrap around his own. 

“I appreciate the sentiment, Oswald, but I don’t want to go with anyone else.” Ivy said softly. “You’re my friend and I like spending time with you, silly! I don’t care what they’d say or think about us. We were freaks for all those years and I like that. We may be freaks but that’s what makes us powerful. An army of freaks!” she grinned. 

Oswald chuckled, even though his eyes were still glistening with wetness. “You realize it’s just the two of us. We can’t be an army of two.” 

“You’re always such a dork!” she laughed and tapped him on the shoulder. “Oh, and,” she smirked, “you look handsome.” 

Oswald rolled his eyes but he had to admit he felt considerably better now. 

~*~  

Ed showed up unexpectedly at Oswald’s door late in the evening. At by ‘late’ understand almost midnight. 

“You didn’t kill anyone again, did you?” Oswald joked when he saw Ed’s pale face. 

Ed rolled his eyes. “What has 13 hearts but no other organs?” 

Oswald blinked. “You killed 13 people?” 

“No, Oswald!” Ed gasped but it was a quiet gasp, a whisper-gasp, because he was aware that the neighbors might hear them in the hall. “May I come in?” 

“Sure.” Oswald let Ed in and since his mother was already asleep they sneaked in straight to Oswald’s bedroom. When he closed the door and faced Edward he saw his friend was smiling at him rather strangely. “What?”  

“Your pajamas have tiny umbrellas on them.” Ed said fondly, biting back a grin. 

Oswald rolled his eyes with a huff. “You were telling me something about hearts and organs?” 

“Ah, yes. What has 13 hearts but no other organs?” Ed repeated. When it became evident that Oswald had no intention of replying, Ed continued, “The answer’s a deck of playing cards.” 

“Oh.” 

“What I mean to say is, do you want to play cards?” 

Oswald processed. Ed came to his home at almost midnight to play cards with him? 

A warm smile spread across Oswald’s face. “Absolutely yes.” 


	8. Chapter 8

Ed gently placed his backpack on Oswald’s desk and settled on the foot of Oswald’s bed while Oswald himself prepared the playing cards. 

“Our usual?” Oswald asked, lips quirking up. 

“Definitely.” Ed replied with a smirk. 

They started to play and chat like they used to. It was nice, the two of them hanging out again. Even if it was the middle of the night. 

“Do your parents know you’re here?” Oswald had to ask eventually. 

Ed did not look up from his cards. “They won’t mind.” he said and it sounded more like _ ‘they won’t care’ _ . 

Oswald did not pry. He knew enough about Ed’s family to know they weren’t the best of people. He also knew Ed hated talking about this so he didn’t push the matter any further. 

“I’m glad you’re here.” Oswald heard himself say. His voice had gone softer than usual and he couldn’t help feeling slightly vulnerable at the admission. 

Ed only hummed. “I’ve been a bad friend to you recently, haven’t I?” he said, eyes still fixated on the cards as if his life depended on it. 

“No, not at a--” 

“It was a rhetorical question.” Ed interrupted. “I know I’ve been a bad friend. Ever since Kristen and I got together I’ve neglected you.” 

“You had your reasons, I understand. You had Kristen and--” 

“ _ Don’t _ find excuses for me, Oswald.” Ed cut him off again. His voice rang with anger but this time Oswald knew it wasn’t directed at him. It was directed at Ed himself. “It’s true I’ve been smitten with Kristen for so long that becoming her boyfriend made me forget myself. But it was wrong of me to ignore you.” 

Oswald swallowed nervously. His heart was beating really fast in his chest. Ed was right, of course. His neglect had hurt Oswald deeply, even if in his heart of hearts Oswald felt like he deserved it. Ed didn’t  _ owe  _ him anything. Friendship didn’t work that way. Oswald couldn’t force Ed to like spending time with him. It only sounded logical that Ed would get bored of him. Still having Edward apologize to him for it, acknowledge Oswald’s pain and ask forgiveness… It was like a balm for Oswald’s emotional wounds. If only Oswald knew how to respond in that sort of a situation. 

“Ed, I-- thank you...” he muttered. 

“You don’t need to thank me, Oswald.” Ed said. “Besides, apparently you had a point. About me acting weird this week. I seem to be the only one who hadn’t noticed.” 

“Who else noticed?” 

“Kristen.” Ed put the cards down on the bed and rested his head to the wall. Oswald followed his friend’s example and did the same. Ed continued. “We were… we were making out and I-- I wasn’t exactly there.” 

“Um. Sorry, what?” 

“Emotionally. We were kissing but my head was someplace else.” 

“Ah. Where--where was it? Your head.” Oswald asked curiously. Ed not being mentally present while kissing Kringle sounded almost unbelievable after all the pining he’d done.  

_ When he gets bored of it, he’ll be back to you.  _ Ivy’s voice sounded in Oswald’s head and he couldn’t help the small smile that spread across his face. It took him a moment to realize that Ed was still talking.  

“-- and then she said I was being weird all week and that was making her wonder if I even-- Oswald. You’re smiling.” 

Oswald blinked startled. “I was?” 

“Yes.” Ed said pointedly, demanding an explanation why his best friend was smiling during such a serious conversation. 

“Sorry. I guess it’s because of the late hour.” 

Ed decided to let it slide. “Anyway, I thought about it a lot, searching for the cause, and I came to the conclusion that I need to stop being a bad friend to you.” 

“I see.” Oswald said, even though he couldn’t quite grasp the logic yet. 

“Guilt. That must have been the reason why I used to get so irritable around you and so distracted around Kristen. Guilty conscience because I neglected our friendship to spend time with Kristen. Also the fact that I miss our time together… So, to make amends, this,” he slid off the bed to dig something out of his backpack, “is for you.”

That said, he placed a black rectangular box on the bed. Oswald was completely taken by surprise. Ed had brought a gift for him? 

“Ed… you didn’t have to--” Oswald muttered, his fingers tracing the black box with curiosity and affection.  

“I wanted to.” Ed assured. 

Oswald opened the present, a childlike excitement on his face, and then he awed. There, in the box, laid a purple tie. It was elegant and stylish and Oswald loved it immediately. 

“Ed! It’s beautiful!” he exclaimed. 

“I thought the colour would bring out your eyes.” Ed said and Oswald felt his cheeks flushing with warmth. 

“Thank you.” he said, beaming at his best friend. 

“It’s for prom.” Ed elaborated. “I know you’ve been fussing about it a lot so I thought it’d be nice to have a new tie for it.” 

“I can’t wait to put it on!” 

“Let me put it on you now then.” Ed offered. 

“With my pajamas?” Oswald asked amusedly. But he couldn’t wait! He had to try it on at once. “Okay!” he grinned and sat up on his bed. 

Ed, too, shifted on the bed so that he was now on his knees in front of Oswald to better access his neck. Ed has always been taller than Oswald so it felt a bit awkward to stare at Ed’s neck while Ed himself fumbled with the new tie, but Oswald endured it and waited patiently. 

It was taking slightly longer than one would expect though. 

“Sorry…” Ed muttered. “It’s kind of weird to do it at this angle.” 

Oswald let out a nervous little laughter. “I expect it’s different when it’s not your neck.” 

“Yes.” Ed agreed.

His fingers were brushing against Oswald’s skin every now and then, the touch sending electric jolts through Oswald’s body, causing his heart to beat faster and his breathing to speed up. What was wrong with him? 

“Almost ready….” Ed promised. 

Oswald swallowed, looking up at the ceiling. “It’s okay, take your time.” he said. 

“There.” A smug smile spread across Ed’s face as he evaluated his work on the tie. “Go have a look.” 

Oswald jumped off the bed and waddled towards the mirror in his room. What he saw there was rather comical. His hair was messy, his eyes were sleepy with his usual dark circles under them and he was wearing his umbrella pajamas with a rather expensive purple tie. And yet, despite the absurdity of the ‘costume’, Oswald beamed with joy. For the first time in a long time he really loved his reflection. 

“I was right.” Ed said, yawning as sleep was taking over. “Purple does bring out your eyes.” 

“Thank you, Ed! I’ll keep this tie forever.” Oswald smiled but when he looked at the bed again he saw his friend was already asleep. 

Oswald chuckled fondly. Ed’s face looked so soft and peaceful in his sleep, his head still propped on the hard wall, playing cards spread around him, forgotten. Oswald quickly collected all the cards and put them away. Then he carefully shifted Ed so that he was laid out more comfortably on his bed, and tucked him in. Ed did not wake up during any of this. 

Oswald took one more glance at the mirror, admiring his new tie and then carefully removed it from his neck and placed it gently on his desk like the precious belonging that it was. Then he slipped into his bed next to Ed and fell asleep blissfully. 

~*~

When Oswald opened his eyes again, Ed was already awake, standing in the middle of the room and fixing his clothes. 

“Sorry I fell asleep on you like that last night.” he said. “I didn’t mean to crowd you.” 

“It’s alright. It’s-- it’s alright.” Oswald assured, glancing down at himself. After the ‘bathroom incident’ some time ago, he wanted to make sure there were no awkward surprises that might shock Ed or make them both feel uncomfortable. Luckily for him, there were none. He sighed with relief. Then frowned at Ed. “What are you doing?” 

Ed was kneeling down by the closed door, his back turned to Oswald and looking rather stupidly. = 

“I’m trying to see through the keyhole if your mother’s in the living room or not.” he replied. 

Oswald rolled his eyes amusedly. “Is this really necessary?” 

Ed turned around to look at him and nod. “Yes.” Then he turned back to the keyhole. 

“Fine.” Oswald yawned and lied back down in bed, snuggling under his covers. The bed was still warm and pleasant and Oswald could detect the faint smell of Ed’s scent. It was surprisingly comforting. He hummed blissfully. 

Ed shushed him. Oswald groaned. 

“Seriously, Ed?” 

“This is important to me. I don’t want her to see me.” 

“It’s no big deal.” 

“It is! I don’t want her to dislike me.” 

“And she won’t.” Oswald said. His face fell slightly. “Besides, she has bigger problems than that.” 

Ed looked at him again. “What do you mean?” he frowned. 

Oswald wasn’t sure he wanted to discuss this now but he also needed to let it out. 

“I don’t think I got into college this year, Ed.” he said. “I think they’ll reject me.” 

“Oswald…” 

“Still no letter from GU. Everyone who got accepted already got theirs. Only rejection letters take this long.” He could hear his voice wavering a little as he said the words. He couldn’t control it. His emotions were taking over again. He hung his head, shutting his eyes close as he felt the tears again. “I don’t care if they don’t want me there, but my mother, she-- she really hoped--” he cut himself off. He couldn’t continue. 

Ed was silent by the door while Oswald remained curled in a ball in his bed, all soft and vulnerable. He didn’t want to look at his friend’s face, afraid of what he might find there. He didn’t want Ed’s pitty. But then a strange thing happened. Ed took a few steps closer and sat by the bed, wrapping his freakishly long arms around Oswald, pulling him into a hug. It was surprisingly warm and pleasant. Oswald relaxed into it, much like he did in his mother’s embrace. 

“Whatever happens, it’ll be alright.” Ed promised. “Accepted or not, you’ll be alright.” 

Oswald felt tears budding behind the closed lids of his eyes. “Thank you.” he whispered, resting his head on Ed’s chest. 

They remained like that for a while, everything else disappearing from existence. Then Ed pulled away. “Breakfast time. I want to sneak out before your mother sees me.” he reminded. 

Oswald blinked confused. “But why?” he asked again. “Are you always going to avoid my mother?” 

“No, of course not.” Ed shook his head. “But it’s not the right way to meet her now. I want to make a good impression. But if I just show up like that from your room, I’ll just look weird. Who shows up at their friend’s door at midnight.” 

“Okay…” 

“I’ll see you at school.” Ed said and sneaked out. 

Oswald rubbed at his eyes. It was too early in the morning to think. He put some clothes on and went to grab something to eat in the kitchen. 

“Good morning, Oswald.” His mother greeted. “Do you have something to share?” 

Oswald shrugged. “No. Why?” 

“I was wondering who your tall friend was. His arms looked so comically long when he sneaked out of your bedroom like a cartoon character this morning.” 

Oswald grinned. “He’s an idiot.” he said fondly. “That was Ed, mom. I told you about Ed.” 

“I still don’t understand why Ed won’t just come visit us properly some time. Why always so late or so mysterious.” 

“That’s Ed. He wants you to like him but he’s afraid you won’t if you see him.” That sounded so dumb when he said it out loud. Oswald chuckled with a headshake. “I told you he’s an idiot.”

Gertrude was thoughtful for a moment. “Is it my opinion of him so important to your friend?” she asked. 

Oswald nodded. “Yes. Yes, I believe it is.” 

Gertrude smiled at her son. “Hmm.” she considered something and then, “Tell him I like him.” 

~*~ 

The letter from Gotham University finally arrived. Oswald did not get in. 


	9. Chapter 9

Rejection.

It was nothing new.

It was nothing he didn’t expect.

It was nothing at all.

Why did it hurt?

Oswald did not tell his mother about the letter from GU. He could not muster the courage to do it. He couldn’t tell her he got rejected and watch her swallow her own disappointment in order to comfort _him_. He couldn’t face the sadness in her eyes that was sure to follow such news. So he crumpled the letter and stuffed it deep down in his school bag where he was certain she wouldn’t find it. Then, instead of being honest about his failure, he pretended to be excited about prom and felt like the most horrible son in the world.

She shared his ‘enthusiasm’ with matching excitement of her own as he put on his prom suit and presented himself to her.

“My beautiful boy!” She beamed at him, tears of joy in her eyes as she held his face in her hands, admiring him. “So handsome you are! So elegant!”

He forced another smile and luckily she didn’t notice the heaviness in his heart.

“Have a wonderful evening, my sweet Kapelput!” she kissed him. “And be careful!”

Ivy came to pick him up which led to several jokes about her being a perfect gentleman. They laughed throughout the entire car ride and Oswald decided to enjoy himself tonight, college or no college.

The school was beautifully decorated for prom. No doubt all those committees did a good job with the preparations. Unfortunately there were also banners dedicated to Dougherty and how ‘we are all searching for you, dear Thomas’. That was rather annoying, not to mention in terrible taste. Oswald wondered how Ed would react when he saw them. However, there seemed to be no sign of Ed yet.

Ivy looked happy. Oswald was pleased to see his plan working like a charm! The moment they entered the hall, all eyes were on Ivy. No more mean whispers and gossipping, they were replaced by looks of genuine admiration or jealousy. Many of the students couldn’t even recognize who she was at first. As if one dress and a new haircut changed a person _that_ drastically. Oswald wanted to scream. What a bunch of shallow assholes, all of them! But at least they got to learn their lesson of what they were missing all this time. Ivy was the bell of the ball, outshining even the most popular queen-bees. Guys and girls came asking her to dance with them but Ivy refused them all, favoring Oswald instead. He was flattered but also slightly puzzled.

“You _can_ dance with them if you want, y’know.” he told her as they swayed together on the dancefloor.

“Pfft, I’m not ditching you for some idiots who thought I’m a freak or pretended I was invisible for most of my life.” she said cheerfully, sipping her drink from a fancy straw. “They’ll have to work harder for my attention.” she winked.

Oswald grinned. Ivy was badass! He liked her new attitude.

“James Gordon’s looking our way.” she told Oswald then. “Quite often.”

Oswald just shrugged. “He’s not important. Have you seen Ed?”

Ivy shook her head.

Oswald found himself scanning the room several times in search for Ed and Kristen but there was still no sign of either of them. Where were they? It was most peculiar that Oswald had no news of them whatsoever.

Oswald leaned in to Ivy’s ear. “I’m gonna call him.” he said. “He should’ve been here by now.”

Ivy nodded and continued dancing and enjoying herself while Oswald went outside in the fresh night air where it was quieter. There was this uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach and he just had to make sure Ed was alright. He dialed his friend’s number and waited. No one answered. Oswald was beginning to worry now. He dialed the number again, and again. It made no difference. Ed was not answering.

“Come on, Ed.” Oswald groaned and dialed the number once more. “Pick up the phone.”  

He felt a hand on his shoulder and jumped startled. At first he hoped the person behind him was Ed but it happened to be none other than Jim Gordon. An unpleasant turn of events if there ever was one.

The football captain was standing behind Oswald, his blue eyes carefully observing.

“Is everything alright?” he asked in that tone of voice he usually used whenever he was going to be ‘helpful’.

Oswald rolled his eyes and headed back towards the school. He had no intention to communicate with the guy.

“Oswald, wait. Please.” Jim stopped him.

“What do you want?” Oswald asked impatiently.

“To apologize. For everything.”

Well, this was a week of apologies apparently. He got one from Ed, now from Jim. Who was next? Dead Dougherty from the Beyond?

“News flash, Jim. I don’t care.” Oswald said with a fake smile, then tried to leave again but Jim’s hand on his arm stopped him.

“Please, hear me out.” Jim said.

“Don’t!” Oswald pulled away instantly as if burned by the light touch. “You’ve got some nerve, Jim! Just leave me alone. I don’t need your apologies, I don’t need anything from you. Just stay away from me.”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry I used you and I’m sorry about what happened at Barbara’s party. I’m really sorry and I want you to know that.” Jim said. He looked earnest and honest enough. And yet, Oswald knew what _that_ was about. He let out a small bitter chuckle and took a step towards Jim, chin up, eyes ablaze.

“You think this apology is for me but it isn’t. This is for _you_ !” he hissed. “You say you’re sorry but we both know my forgiveness has _nothing_ to do with what you’re after.” he smirked. “It’s eating you up, isn't it?”

Jim frowned. He looked very uncomfortable all the sudden. Oswald must’ve hit a nerve.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Jim said tightly.

“The thought that you, the great James Gordon, the golden boy, teacher’s pet, best at everything, noble and just, stooped down low enough to come to _me_ to do your work for you. You discovered a whole new side of yourself, haven’t you, James Gordon?”

“Oswald…” Jim warned.

“It hurts to be a manipulative bastard when you have conscience, doesn’t it?”

“Enough!”

“I’m only telling the truth, Jim!”

Jim’s lips were a tight line. His fists were clenched and for a moment Oswald thought the captain would hit him. But he didn’t. That anger wasn’t at Oswald.

“Fine. I admit. Is this what you wanted to hear?” Jim said, voice hoarse. “I was an asshole to you, in more ways that you know. But I’m here to apologize.”

Oswald laughed. “And that suddenly makes being an asshole okay?”

“Well, no, but--”

“I don’t care, Jim. My times of doing favors for you are over. It was too one-sided for me.”

“Oswald, this isn’t just about favors…”

“I don’t want to hear about how me suffering made _you_ feel, you selfish idiot!”

Jim swallowed but did not object. Oswald sucked in a deep breath. He really shouldn’t be getting this emotional over this. He truly was over James Gordon. The thought made him smile. It was liberating.

“I guess I should be thanking you.” he said, chuckling without ill feeling. “What you did to me turned out to be a good thing after all. Now I see the real you. But if you’re too scared to face him, that’s not my problem. I can live with it, Jim. Can you?”

Jim was speechless. Oswald smirked, pleased that he was not the weak one this time. He returned to the school, leaving James Gordon out of his life for good.

~*~

Ivy was waiting for him with drinks.

“Did you contact Edward?”

Oswald shook his head. “He’s not answering. I’m worried.”

“He’s probably somewhere with Kristen.”

“But it’s prom! They’re supposed to be here.”

Ivy smirked. “Not if they have a better thing to do than dancing.” she winked.

Oswald grimaced. “Like what-- oh.”

Ivy giggled.

“You had too much to drink. I should take you home.” He announced.

“I want to dance more!” she said pleadingly, pulling him towards the dancefloor again.

For some reason the idea of Ed and Kristen together made Oswald feel physically ill. Why was it bugging him so much? He knew Ed was still his best friend. Kristen hadn’t stolen Ed from Oswald? Oswald shouldn’t be this upset. And yet he was. It was confusing, infuriating and it felt terrible. He would have left the party but he didn’t want to ditch Ivy. This night was for her, after all and she seemed to be having a great time. So at least that plan was working!

“Let’s dance then!” he said instead and _that_ she did not refuse.

~*~

When he returned home his mother was still waiting for him. Oswald suspected she was secretly worrying that some hussy might steal her boy from prom and that urged her to stay up till after midnight. He found it amusing.

She asked him how prom was, asked him about Ivy and he had to indulge her. He told her about a beautiful ballroom, about lively music, happy faces, laughing students and lots of smiles. And naturally dancing, tons of dancing. He made prom sound more like a fairytale than what it truly was. He wanted it to be something she’d like, something that would make her happy. So what if the truth was rather different than his story? The smile on his mother’s face was real. And that was what counted.

She gave him a kiss goodnight and went to bed. Oswald was finally free to go to his room and just _breathe_. He was tired. Tired of the noise, tired of the people, tired of worrying about Ed and tired of Jim Gordon. Tired of the dancing. Well, the dancing was actually kind of fun. And Ivy was a great dancing partner. Nevertheless, he welcomed some relaxation. He hesitated if he should draw himself a nice hot bath or was it too late for that but then a familiar sound made him stop in his tracks. It was the sound of stones thrown at his windowpane.

Oswald showed his head out the window to find Ed downstairs.

“Please…” was all Ed could say.

With heavy feeling in his stomach Oswald rushed downstairs to meet his friend.

Ed was a mess. He was crying and sobbing and he couldn’t get himself under control. Oswald hadn’t seen him like that, not even after Dougherty.

“Ed?” Oswald asked worriedly. “Ed, talk to me! What happened?”

“Kristen…. She-- Oh, God!”

“Ed! What happened to Kristen? Ed!” Oswald shook him slightly to make him snap out of it.

“I did something.” Ed said, swallowing back his tears. “She was in my room…. She-- She wasn’t breathing…”

Oswald’s eyes went wide. “What happened to Kristen, Ed?”

“I think I killed her, Oswald.” Ed whispered, terror in his eyes. “I think I killed Kristen.”

~*~

What followed felt like a strange hazy drug-induced dream. They hurried towards Ed’s house without exchanging a word. Ed was in shock, that much was obvious, and Oswald suspected he himself was in shock too. His entire body was trembling with the adrenaline rush, his head was spinning.

They reached Ed’s home relatively quickly. The door was unlocked and Ed didn’t seem worried that his parents might hear anything. They went directly to Ed’s room. Oswald was expecting to find Kristen’s dead body there but instead he just heard Ed closing the door behind them as he slipped down to the floor in the corner of the room and curled in on himself like a frightened little tiger cub.

“Ed?” Oswald urged, confused.

“I told her about Dougherty.” Ed began. His voice was low and shaky. He was rocking back and forth feverishly. “She went mad. I tried to explain I did it to protect her but she called me a freak and a psycho and said she didn’t want anything to do with me. She said she’d call the police… I didn’t mean to hurt her, Oswald, I promise I didn’t! I just wanted her to stop yelling at me and listen instead.” he sobbed, staring at his trembling hands. “I didn’t know I was strangling her until she slipped down lifeless on the floor.”

Oswald realized he was gaping and quickly shut his mouth closed. He cleared his throat before speaking because he suspected he would’ve been unable to utter a coherent sound otherwise.

“Where-- where is she now?” he asked, trying to be the voice of reason. That was quite a relative term at this point.

“That’s the weirdest part.” Ed said, a manic laughter escaping his lips. “I’ve no idea.”

“What do you mean you’ve no idea!? Are you even sure she’s dead? Perhaps she was only unconscious and then walked away? The door was unlocked when we came here...”

“Oh, she’s dead.” Ed interrupted. “I’m sure she’s dead. I remember holding her lifeless body in my arms and then-- and then there’s this.” he took something out of his pocket and placed it in Oswald’s hands.

Oswald glanced down frowning at it before throwing it away with a startled scream. It was a human hand.

“What the hell, Ed!?”

“I know! That’s how I reacted too!”

Oswald was frantically rubbing his own hands against his clothes as if to clean them. “Is this-- Is this _Kristen’s hand_!?”

Ed nodded, biting at his lip.

“How did it get here? What the fuck is happening?”

“I don’t know! I just know she was dead one moment, and the next her body was gone and all she left behind was her hand.”

Oswald was hyperventilating. “How can she leave behind her own hand!? This makes no fucking sense!”

“I never said it did!”

“This isn’t good. This isn’t good at all!” Oswald was pacing nervously around the room, biting at his nails. “You could _get caught! We_ could get caught. This isn’t just about Kristen anymore. It can get us in trouble for Dougherty too.”

“I know. I’m sorry!”

“Did someone see you? Think!”

“No one could’ve seen me, we were in my room. Alone. My parents are out of town so we had the house to ourselves… It was really romantic…”

“Right up until you strangled her, I get it.” Oswald waved his hands about impatiently. “What happened then? You didn’t come to prom…?”

He shook his head. “We decided to skip prom and stay at the house instead. But then she started talking about Dougherty and I I told her and then we had that horrible fight and then I wrapped my hands around her gentle neck and--”

Ed was falling into shock again and Oswald couldn’t have that at the moment. He knelt down in front of his friend and placed his hands on Ed’s shoulders, trying to keep him grounded.

“Ed! I need you to _calm down_ and _focus_ . _Please_.” Oswald said quietly. “We have to-- figure things out.”

“Figure what out? She’s dead.” Ed repeated.

“We’re not quite sure about that yet.” Oswald reminded carefully. “There’s still a chance she’s alive and well and this-- hand-- is just a prank.”

Ed was breathing sharply, his teeth bared, his hair falling in his wide eyes. He looked like a man haunted. And given that he had two murders behind him now, maybe in a way he was.

“Just a prank.” Ed repeated, hopeful.

“Yes. Now breathe with me. In… and out…. In… and out…”

They breathed like that for a while until Ed was in a somewhat better shape.

“We need to find her and find out what’s happening.” Oswald said. “Can you help with that?”

Ed nodded.

“Okay. Okay, we’ll figure this out. We’ll figure this out….” Before he could register what he was doing, Oswald was already puking Ed into his arms, hugging him and stroking his head like a mother would. It was as much to comfort Ed as it was to comfort himself.

This was too much. It was _too much_ … He managed to deal with the Dougherty situation. He reacted quickly then. What was stopping him now that it was Kristen? Perhaps the reason this had somehow managed to shock him more was the fact that Ed _loved_ Kristen. Oswald couldn't quite wrap his mind around that. How could Ed love her and strangle her at the same time? Or perhaps it was just the mysterious disappearance of Kristen’s body. Where could she have gone after being strangled to death? Who else was involved? Were the two of them even safe? And most importantly, _was Ed okay_?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right until the very last moment I wasn’t quite sure how I wanted to approach Kristen’s death. I knew she had to die ((I sound like such a psychopath but I promise, I’m not! :D )), however, the original plan was to just get it over with quickly and move on to the next point of the plot. But then I re-watched the Closer to the Bone scene from 2x07 and I couldn’t resist the little Riddler game with the search for Kristen’s body so -- chop-chop! -- I decided to incorporate canon here after all.


	10. Chapter 10

“You killed her, Oswald. You’re the reason she’s dead.” Ed yelled. His face was so full of rage, his teeth bared and dangerous. “And now you’re going to die for it.” he announced, suddenly sounding so deadly calm it made it all the more terrifying. 

“Ed, please!” Oswald begged his voice breaking, hot tears streaming from his eyes, sliding down his cheeks. He was reaching out for Ed with painful desperation but Ed only slapped his hands away. 

“You killed her, Oswald. So you must die.” he said, his decision final and unshakable.

And then Ed was murdering him. 

Ed was stabbing him in the stomach with a knife but at the same time Oswald could feel Ed’s strong hands around his neck. As if Ed was both strangling and stabbing him simultaneously. 

“Ed…” Oswald tried but no sound came out of him. “Ed, please…” He mouthed. 

The pleading made no difference, neither did the tears. Ed was not Ed. At least not the Ed Oswald knew. He was vicious, dangerous, terrifying. He was cold and calculating. He was scary and mad. 

Oswald begged silently, again and again, to no avail. And then Ed pushed him away from himself as if he was disgusted with him. Oswald was falling and falling until he was lying in the ground, in a grave much like the one they dug together that night when Dougherty died. Only now Ed was burying Oswald. 

Oswald was dead and watching it all happen. Unable to move, unable to call for help. He was utterly helpless. 

“Ed… please…” 

Ed was set in his task, working with the shovel and ignoring Oswald completely. 

“Ed… I love--” 

Suddenly the ground Ed was pouring over him transformed into water. It surrounded Oswald completely, making him sink further down. He was drowning now! 

And then he snapped awake, gasping and screaming. His heart was racing in his chest. Sweat was literally dripping from him. He was in Ed’s bed. He was not dead. It was all just a dream. A freakishly weird nightmare but nothing more.  

“Oswald?” Ed asked tentatively. He was sitting at his desk, looking at Oswald with his head tilted slightly to the side. Concerned. 

Oswald blinked at him, trying to come back to his senses. He was still too much under the influence of the dream he had just woken up from to actually be able to look at Ed right now. Slowly the world made sense again. Slowly he calmed down. 

“I’m sorry… Bad dream…” he explained, when he was able to find his words again. 

Ed got up from his desk and strode towards him, sitting down on the edge of the bed and smiling at Oswald. “I understand.” he said softly. 

Ed was smiling? He actually looked… peaceful. Cheerful, even. Perhaps…

“It was insane.” Oswald said, eyes fixed on Ed. “In my dream you had killed Kristen and you were trying to--” 

Ed’s smile disappeared. “That wasn’t a dream, Oswald.” 

Oswald’s face fell. Was there any chance he was still dreaming? Or did someone put something in his drink at prom? 

“I did kill Kristen.” Ed said. 

The admission sounded almost matter-of-factly and Ed seemed so perfectly calm, nothing like the sobbing mess he was last night. It took Oswald slightly aback. 

“I don’t understand… Then why are you so--?” 

“So relaxed?” Ed chuckled. “A good night’s sleep and a bit of reflecting made me see reason.” 

“Reason?” Oswald arched both eyebrows, giving Ed an incredulous look. 

“Yes, clear rational reason. And you will see it too.” He grinned at Oswald. “Do you want to hear my reflections?” 

Oswald wasn’t sure if he was ready to but he nodded a  _ yes  _ anyway. 

“Good. So. There are two options here.” Ed began, sounding quite excited as he raised two fingers in front of Oswald’s face. “Option one: Kristen did not die. And option two: Kristen did die and someone took her. Now. In the first case, we have a living Kristen. No body, no crime, remember?” he winked. “The worst she could do is tell everyone I hurt her. But she has no proof for Dougherty, nothing. Even if they start investigating us, there’s nothing to find. We’ve covered our tracks there. We’re not in danger.” 

“But rumours provoke doubts! What if--” 

“In the second case,” Ed continued, ignoring Oswald’s outbursts and confusion, “Kristen did die. Obviously, she can’t just walk out of here on her own if she’s dead. So someone took her. However, if that someone wanted to get us arrested, they would’ve by now. But they  _ didn’t _ . Which means they have a different plan for us. It’d be nice if we found out what that plan is if it doesn’t concern the GCPD.” he hummed thoughtfully, then shook it off. “Either ways, we’re in the clear. For now. All we have to do is wait and see what happens next. I personally, lean towards option 2 since I’m pretty sure Kristen is dead. So if we’re lucky we can keep the matter entirely out of the GCPD. Isn’t that neat?” 

Ed was actually beaming at Oswald. That was an unexpected turn, considering only hours ago he was so upset and grief stricken. 

“I guess that’s good news…” Oswald muttered, still feeling very dizzy. “You don’t look sad anymore.” 

“Oh, I realized Kristen being dead is not so bad.” 

Oswald gaped at him. 

“Well, she did say some horrible things about me.” 

“When you were strangling her…” Oswald offered helpfully. 

“Before.” Ed corrected quickly. “She said the horrible things before that. She obviously didn’t understand me. And I do feel-- I feel more-- I feel less scared. You know?” 

Oswald’s heart skipped a beat. He could understand that. 

“Like I’m stronger now. Free.” Ed explained further on. 

Oswald swallowed, brows furrowed. “Kristen set you free.” 

“Not just Kristen. But Kristen too.” 

Oswald nodded. His head was killing him. “We’ll talk more about it but now, forgive me, I need a shower and something for my headache.” 

“Did you have too much to drink last night?” Ed asked, concerned. 

Oswald still found it hard to process that Ed could be this calm and  _ mundane  _ the morning after he killed his girlfriend. He blinked the confusion away. “I-- I had a glass or two.” Oswald replied, sliding out of bed. “But I’ll be fine.” 

“Bathroom’s down the hall.” Ed said helpfully. 

“Thanks.” Oswald said and waddled that way as fast as he could. 

~*~  

In the shower Oswald was alone with his thoughts. He ran his fingers through his wet face, trying to gather his mind and think. Ed was still in shock. Something had snapped inside him, obviously. Oswald needed to figure out how to help him. He was a ticking time bomb at the moment, one could never know when he’d suddenly go off and Oswald had to make sure to prevent the explosion. He couldn’t have Ed breaking in front of other people and letting everyone know about Dougherty and Kristen. 

What Ed said about Kristen though was right. If the police were involved, they would’ve already arrested Ed. He wasn't exactly hiding. Neither was Oswald, who even spent the night at an unofficial crime scene! He didn’t spend the night at home! He had to call his mother! Hopefully she’d assume he went out early when she woke up with him already gone. 

Anyway, first things first. Everything seemed quiet so far, so whoever took Kristen’s body really did have other plans. The question was, who? Who was the witness? Why did they take the body? What was their goal?

Oswald was no expert in these things, but the whole situation made no sense. Showing up at a murder scene and stealing an already dead body, instead of calling the police? It looked like something a lunatic would do. Or a psychopath. Insanity for insanity’s sake. One couldn’t find logic in such behavior. Unless, that psychopathic witness was someone who  _ knew  _ Ed and wanted to have power over him. But who would even bother with that and why? 

Oswald remained under the shower longer than necessary, hoping to clear his head and wash off the unpleasant taste in his mouth. All he wanted was to go to a nice college and make his mother happy. Now he was suddenly an accomplice to  _ two  _ murders, had personally helped burying one body in the woods, while the other body went off to God knew where; he was  _ rejected  _ from college and he had no idea what to do with his life. On top of that his best friend went bonkers. And only a couple of months ago Oswald’s worst fear was looking foolish in front of James Gordon. 

It was pointless to dwell on such things. One could only learn from them and move on. There was no time for being so emotional. After some deliberation he reached the conclusion that Ed was right. Their best option was to wait and see. There was no other way for them to find Kristen’s body on their own. And searching would just make them look suspicious. They would  _ definitely  _ not go to the police. So all they were left with was to be patient. 

The water was sliding down his body, constant and dependable. He wished he could stay under its calming stream forever, but much as he hated to he had to eventually leave the bathroom. Turning off the focid, he stepped out of the shower and dried himself off with a towel. He got dressed in his clothes from last night again and then returned to Ed’s room. His hair was still damp from the shower so he rubbed it some more with the towel, his movements freezing at what he found inside.  

Ed was sitting on his bed, looking puzzled at a package in his hands. It was a rectangular box, covered in green paper with a yellow ribbon on top of it and a note. It wasn’t big, it fit easily in Ed’s hands as he shifted it nervously between his fingers. 

“Huh.” Ed muttered, mouth open, hair disheveled and falling in his eyes. 

Oswald swallowed. “What’s that, Ed?” he asked, the uneasy feeling back in his chest and stomach even if he couldn’t rationally explain why the box was making him so anxious. 

Ed sucked in a deep breath. “I think the game’s starting.” 

Oswald took a step closer to examine the blasted green and yellow thing. He read the note and frowned confused. 

“What’s that? A riddle!?” 

 

_ I run but cannot walk. What am I?  _

 

“Oh, dear...” Ed whispered, eyes darting up at Oswald. There was slight terror in them and Oswald soon realized why. As Ed tore the paper away and opened the cardboard box both he and Oswald gasped in horror. Inside there laid a human nose. 

“Oh, dear! Oh, dear! Oh, dear!” Ed kept repeating frantically, staring at it. 

“Th-there’s another note… there…” Oswald stuttered, carefully taking out the second note from underneath the severed nose. 

 

_ I can smell your f _ **_ear_ ** _.  _

_ Your frightened heartbeat I can h _ **_ear_ ** _.  _

_ Your end is n _ **_ear_ ** _. _

_ But I won’t shed a t _ **_ear_ ** _.   _

 

Oswald looked at Edward. “Why is the  **_ear_ ** spelled differently?” He asked, voice small. 

Ed was very very pale. “Because I think we’re about to receive Kristen piece by piece.” 

Oswald swallowed the lump in his throat. Her  **_ear_ ** was next, he realized. 

~*~ 

The next couple of days were radio silence. No sign of Kristen. Nothing. Ed only got one phone call from Kristen’s friend Lee who asked him if he knew why Kristen wasn’t answering her phone. He said he had no idea and that she wasn’t answering him either and that was the end of the story. Why would Lee want to talk to Ed for longer than she had to, after all? 

Ed was relatively calm under the circumstances. He now had Kristen’s hand and her nose. He was expecting to get a ear. But hey, relationships were hard! 

The thrill that someone was after him was rather intoxicating. At times it was sending him into horrific fits of terror, at other times it made him feel like king of the world. The truth was, he himself, wasn’t sure what he felt. He was losing control. He was losing time too apparently because he still had no idea what happened after Kristen died. 

He wished he could remember but his last memory of that night was him holding Kristen’s dead body in his arms. Her pale face, the marks of his hands around her throat. She was cold and stiff in his embrace. He remembered crying and praying for her to be okay. But she was definitely dead. He knew that for a fact. There was no pulse, she wasn’t breathing. She looked like Dougherty, only without the blood… And after that everything went blank. 

The first thing he did when he was conscious again was to go to Oswald for help. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting from his friend but he knew he  _ needed  _ to share it with him. So he did. And unlike Kristen, Oswald did not betray that trust. Oswald was there for him, even now, even after Ed had killed not once but  _ twice  _ ! Oswald was by his side. 

Ed glanced at him. His little feathery friend was sitting at Ed’s desk, frowning at a paper and scribbling something with a pencil in an attempt to figure out their predicament. 

“Why are you helping me?” Ed asked. He needed to know. 

Oswald looked up. “What do you mean?” 

“Why are you so kind to me? After what you know I’ve done.” 

Oswald’s face did something tearful and soft. And he was back by Edward’s side again. “Oh, Ed. We’re friends. I know this is difficult but we’re in it together.” he reassured. 

“I just don’t understand…” 

“I know what it’s like to feel alone. To be hurt and bullied. To want to make it stop.” Oswald said, his hand gentle on Ed’s arm, his voice honest and vulnerable. “And I know you. I know who you truly are. And who you are is the best friend I ever had. I don’t want to lose that. Not because of Kristen, or Dougherty, or anyone.” 

Ed smiled and Oswald returned the smile in like. There was warmth in his eyes and eventually that warmth reached Ed’s heart too. It reassured him and made him feel safe. 

“I hope you know, Oswald,” he heard himself say, “I would do  _ anything  _ for you.” 

As the words were leaving his lips, he realized it was true. He really would do anything for Oswald. Just like he knew Oswald would do anything for him. 

Oswald sucked in a shaky breath and pulled Ed into another hug, holding him tightly as his fingers clutched at Ed’s shoulders as if he was afraid to let go. Ed hugged back and smiled. Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.  

~*~ 

The ear arrived when they were least expecting it, a day before graduation. It was accompanied by another note. 

 

_ You’ve hurt me, you’ve kicked me but I’m still around.  _

_ Your cruel behavior I’ll return in kind.  _

_ Be ready for soon comes the second round.  _

_ Next time I’ll give you a piece of my  _ **_mind_ ** _.  _

 

“He’s going to send me Kristen’s brain!” Ed sobbed. “That’s what this is, it’s plain and obvious!  _ A piece of my mind _ . He’s going to cut her brain!” 

“Ed, relax.” 

“Who would do such a thing? It’s not even a good riddle, Oswald! It holds the answer in itself!” 

“It’ll become known to us eventually. That person is clearly messing with us! Don’t let it get to you!” 

“He sends body parts and bad riddles.” Ed grimaced. “Who, the hell, could he be?” 

That riddle remained unsolved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it appears like those little presents are from the Riddler. But there’s a plot twist coming ;)  
> Also two updates in one day!? Am I amazing or what? ;)


	11. Chapter 11

Graduation was today and Oswald and Edward couldn’t care less. 

It was supposed to be their big day. A happy day. The day that marked the end of what happened to be a horrible experience for both of them, and the beginning of a better chapter in their lives. Instead, they were too preoccupied with  _ The Riddler _ , as they got into the habit of calling whoever was sending them Kristen’s bits and pieces. The true identity of that maniac was still shrouded in secrecy. There seemed to be no clues whatsoever, other than the little cardboard boxes, wrapped in green and bowed with yellow. They’ve received a total of 3 boxes so far (the last piece indeed resembling a small part of a human brain). And of course there was the hand that had been left behind the night of the murder. 

Ed was a mess, Oswald thought he’d throw up, but eventually he realized he had to be strong for his friend. He carefully approached him. 

“Ed, I know this is difficult, but I need you to answer something for me.” Oswald said. 

Ed looked up at him. 

“What do you want to do with her?” Oswald asked. 

Ed seemed confused. “ _ Do  _ with her?” 

Oswald glanced at the green boxes. He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to listen to what happened to Kristen or know that someone was chopping parts of her. He just wanted her completely gone, out of their lives for good so that he and Ed could be safe. But for that to happen they had to dispose of the body parts the Riddler was sending them. 

“What do you suggest?” Ed asked, almost detached. 

“Well…,” Oswald began, his mind buzzing as he calculated the possibilities, “we could bury the boxes in the forest like we did with Dougherty? Drop them in acid?” he bit his lip and exhaled. “But where can we even find acid?” 

“I think it’s going to be another trip to the forest.” Ed said. 

They shared a look, understanding one another without words. Kristen was going to spend eternity with Dougherty after all. 

~*~  

Gertrude noticed the difference in Oswald’s behavior. It did not escape her that her son was quite jumpy recently. She only addressed the issue once but after Oswald assured her that everything was fine and it was just nerves before graduation, she let it go. 

The other person who noticed something was up was Ivy. She called several times, annoyed that Oswald would ditch her the moment Ed showed up more regularly in his life. She pouted and complained about their ruined weekend but eventually she let him be. 

Lee didn’t call Ed anymore and strangely enough no one seemed to talk about Kristen’s disappearance. As if nothing had happened at all. Kristen was a popular girl, surely  _ someone  _ would’ve noticed she wasn’t around. Not that Ed and Oswald had many channels to get school gossip from, their source was mainly Ivy and Ivy wasn’t too fond of Ed at the moment, but still even they would’ve heard  _ something  _ if there was talk. The silence was becoming more disturbing than the body parts in the green boxes. At least in the case of the boxes, the message was relatively clear. One could never know what to expect from silence.  

The graduation ceremony was taking place in the morning with supposedly full attendance. Everyone had to be there and surely then Kristen’s absence would become glaringly obvious. Perhaps that would be the perfect stage for their Riddler to expose them. Well, to expose Ed, really, because whoever the Riddler was he or she was definitely targeting only Nygma. However, Oswald knew in his heart of hearts that if they were going down, they were going down together. 

They remained there, in the middle of the crowd of students waiting for their diplomas, a few steps away from one another. But instead of following the ceremony, both Oswald and Ed were keeping their eyes open, alert for anything out of the ordinary in case the Riddler decided to use graduation against them. 

A tap on his shoulder and Oswald found himself standing face to face with Ivy Pepper. 

“Ivy! You found us!” he exclaimed but instead of a greeting he received a punch in the arm. 

“Ow!” 

“That’s for running off with Ed all weekend and forgetting all about me!” She frowned and pouted. At least she wasn’t afraid to let out her anger anymore. 

Oswald rubbed at his arm. “Apologies. But that hurt, you know!”

“Good! You deserved it!” 

“Fair enough. I guess I did.” he admitted with a sigh. “But, Ivy, you know how much I missed him. I got excited when he was back.” 

Perhaps Ivy sensed the honesty in his words, or perhaps she wasn’t truly that mad, but she gave him a knowing smile and didn’t punch him anymore. 

The ceremony seemed to be going without a wrinkle. Nothing suspicious, nothing out of the ordinary. Still Oswald was afraid to relax. 

“How’s Ed holding up, by the way?” Ivy asked quietly. 

Oswald glanced at Ed who was standing a few steps ahead, with his back turned on them as he was no doubt paying close attention to every detail. 

“Um, he’s fine. Why?” Oswald replied. 

“I was just wondering. With all this thing about Kristen.” 

Oswald’s heart skipped a beat. So there  _ was  _ talk already. He tried to sound casual. 

“Yeah, she hadn’t called him all weekend. He’s beginning to worry if she’s alright. Her not being around and all…”

Ivy snorted. “What do you mean not being around? There’s Kristen right there.” she said and pointed somewhere ahead of them. 

Oswald followed her pinky with his eyes and paled. There, in front of his gaping eyes, laughing in the middle of a group of graduating students, was none other than Kristen Kringle, with her glasses and her ponytail, looking very much  _ alive _ . 

“She’s right t-there…” Oswald repeated mechanically. 

Ivy tilted her head. “Sucks for your friend. Seems like she dumped him.” 

“Yeah, seems like it…” Oswald whispered on autopilot. He was still trying to make sense of this. He had to tell Ed! He looked around but Ed nowhere to be found. Damn it, not now! “Ivy, sorry, I have to go check on Ed.” 

“Of course you do.” Ivy rolled her eyes. “And perhaps now that the girlfriend’s out of the way, you could finally tell him how you feel!” she called after him. 

Oswald frowned at her as he walked away. “What are you talking about!?” he made a face. Ivy just loved teasing him. 

~*~ 

He didn’t have to look much for Ed. Turned out he was just receiving his diploma. 

Oswald waited for his friend, as patiently as he could under the circumstances. As he descended the stage, Ed lifted the diploma and grinned at Oswald. 

“I officially graduated!” he said gleefully. 

“Hold the celebration. Kristen Kringle, on two o’clock.” Oswald whispered, not willing to waste time. 

Ed’s smile instantly faded. His eyes darted in the direction of his dead girlfriend. “B-but how? I’m pretty sure she was--” 

“Apparently not.” Oswald’s lips were a tight line. Couldn’t Ed just kill them properly? 

“Oh, dear.” Ed muttered. “Oh, dear. Oh, dear.”

“Not now, Ed!” Oswald scolded quietly. 

“I should go talk to her.” Ed said, resolute. 

Oswald instantly grabbed him by the arm. “You can’t!” 

“I have to know what happened!” Ed insisted. 

“Not here. Please.” Oswald pleaded. 

Ed’s features hardened. “Let. Go.  _ Oswald _ .” 

Oswald swallowed. His fingers unwrapped from around Ed’s arm, releasing him. “Please, be careful.” he whispered before Ed disappeared into the crowd. 

~*~ 

As he approached his dead girlfriend Ed recollected their last conversation. The yelling, the insults. How quickly she turned on him. How easy it was for her to forget his love vows and think him a villain. And not even a villain; she thought him a sick psycho creep. In her eyes he was too pathetic to even be a villain. The rage inside him was rising again, making his hands clench into tight fists, but there was also this warm feeling of relief that she was alive. He loved her once, perhaps this was a sign that he could love her again? Was this their second chance? It all depended on her, of course. Ed wasn’t even sure how she’d react upon seeing him. After what happened, it’d be understandable if she was a little….  _ upset _ . 

He cleared his throat. “Kristen.” he said, placing his palm on her shoulder. The gesture so familiar from all those times when he tried to gain her attention back when she was dating other jerks. The more soft and frightened part of him internally flinched at the prospect of experiencing another rejection. 

Kristen stopped talking to Lee and turned around to face him. “Ed.” she said, a polite smile appearing on her face. Polite but not genuine, not heartfelt. This time he could tell. 

“Hi, Kristen.” he said, taken slightly aback by her lack of a more dramatic reaction. She really was a riddle! But even he couldn’t quite figure her out.  

“Hi.” Kristen replied. 

It was a mirror-conversation. He spoke her name, she spoke his; he said hi, she repeated it. It wasn’t going anywhere!  

Ed waited. He waited for her to say something,  _ do  _ something. Something that would guide him in his own behavior. But she did nothing. She waited for him. 

His eyes darted to her hands, examining. They were both there, attached to her arms quite properly, as they should. So was her nose, her ears… She was  _ whole _ . There weren’t even any marks on her throat but perhaps that could be makeup. He swallowed. The mystery was complete. 

Lee was watching him with a strange look on her face. If he had to put a word to it, he’d describe it as a mixture of pity and irritation. 

He realized he was wasting precious time so he sucked in a deep breath and finally spoke again, “Congratulations on your graduation.” 

Kristen arched one perfectly shaped eyebrow but then chuckled. “Thanks. You too.” 

“Thanks.” he said, even more confused now. “Um… could we talk? In private?” 

Suddenly Kristen seemed a little uneasy. 

“Do you want me to--” Lee offered, leaning in closer to her friend’s ear. 

Kristen shook her head quickly. “No, thank you, Lee. I’ve got this.” she turned to face Ed again. Their eyes met. “Okay, let’s talk. But I’d rather we do it outside.” 

“Fair enough.” he nodded, glancing down at his feet. 

“Meet me at our park bench after the ceremony.” she said. “Don’t be late.” 

He had no time to even nod before she turned her back on him and retreated with her friends. 

~*~  

“You can’t go.” Oswald insisted. “This could be a trap!” 

“I have to go, Oswald. I need to know--” 

“Ed, listen to me! I want to know as much as you do but this reeks of treachery and deception!” 

“You don’t understand! She acted like nothing happened! She acted like-- the way she did before we started dating.” 

Oswald exhaled rather loudly. “Perhaps she wants to break up with you. Have you considered that?” 

Ed leaned in close to Oswald’s face. “Surely, her and me have more to talk about than just  _ that  _ !” he said pointedly. 

“Ed, _ she sent us her body parts  _ !” 

“We don’t know if that was her.” Ed said defensively. 

Oswald gave him a look. “Who else could it be?” 

Ed wondered. 

“Think about it. You have an argument during which you accidentally strangle her. You think she’s dead and you panic. You lose time. Meanwhile she survives and realizes what just took place. So she disappears for a weekend to think or prepare and then she decides to get revenge on you. She sends you body parts, accompanied with those freaky notes because she knows that would get to you. And then she shows up at graduation, acting like nothing happened. It’s her retribution, Ed! And we don’t know if it’s over yet or not.” 

Ed scrunched his nose. “Where would a girl like Kristen get body parts?” 

Oswald pursed his lips. “I don’t know!” he threw his hands in the air. “But the only ones involved in this were  _ you  _ and  _ her _ . And now she’s here, looking for blood.”

Ed sighed. “It sounds so logical when you say it. But it still doesn’t feel right to me. Kristen is not malicious. She won’t be looking for blood. Besides, I’m sure she wasn’t breathing when--”  

“You were in shock at the time. It’s possible you didn’t see--” 

“Out of the question!” 

Oswald huffed. “Well, she can’t just return from the dead! That’s too much, even for Gotham.” 

Ed sighed again. He ran his hand through his face. “I understand you’re worried about me, Oswald. But I’m going on this meeting.” 

Oswald considered it for a moment. “Alright. But I’m not letting you go alone. I’ll come with you.” 

Ed shook his head. “I’ve gotten you too involved in this mess already. I don’t want to put you in more trouble.” 

“But, Ed…” 

“I’m going alone, Oswald. This is between Kristen and me. Please, don’t try to stop me.” 

His friend turned around and Oswald was suddenly overtook by horrible panic. 

“Ed!” HE cried after him, unable to control his shaky voice. “Be very careful! Please! I don’t want you to get hurt…” 

Ed stopped for a second to give Oswald a nod and a small smile. “I’ll be fine.” 

Oswald could only wish he were as sure of this as Edward was. 


	12. Chapter 12

Waiting for Ed’s return was a whole new kind of torture for Oswald. He was pacing nervously in his room, despite the pain in his bad leg that had gotten worse with all the sraign he’d put on it recently. Biting at his nails and glancing at his phone every two minutes, he was a nervous wreck. 

It’s been almost an hour since Ed went to meet Kristen. Oswald was very tempted to follow him from a safe distance, unseen to see everything, just to make sure Ed was okay. But that seemed too sneaky, Ed would’ve disapproved and Oswald didn’t want to keep secrets from his best friend. So he had to content himself with waiting in the sanctuary of his own room, hoping Ed would join him soon. Or at least, give him some information. 

A knock on his door startled him from his thoughts. 

“Ed?” he rushed to open it but it was his mother, not Ed. 

“Is everything alright, Oswald? You didn’t hear me come in?” she asked, looking rather worried. “I just got home and wanted to see my big boy who’s already a high school graduate!” 

“Oh. Yes, of course. I-- I have the diploma right here, mother.” he smiled and waddled towards his desk to show her the piece of paper. 

She gasped and clasped her hands together. “It’s beautiful! Well done, my boy! My son graduated today!” she pulled him into a loving hug. Oswald hated to admit how much he needed her warmth at this moment. 

“Thank you, mother.” he smiled, closing his eyes and hugging back. 

“And then college and then you’ll be a great man! I know you will!” she looked so happy she could cry.  _ He  _ could cry too but for very different reasons… 

“About that--” he muttered, pulling away from the hug in order to look her in the eyes. 

She tilted her head, expectantly. He could feel the blood rush through his veins. His mouth hung open as he tried to bring the words to his lips.  _ I got rejected. They didn’t want me. I won’t be going to college. I’m so sorry! Please, forgive me!  _

“Yes, Oswald?” she encouraged. 

He let out a nervous laughter. “You know what, I forget! In and out of my head just like that.” 

She smiled and stroke his cheek lovingly. “It probably wasn’t important. You will remember in time.” 

He nodded. “Yes. That’s right.” 

Stupid tears were pricking at his eyes again. He pulled his mother for another hug, not just to hide them but also because he needed her love. As if by instinct she felt something was troubling him. She did not pry but she let him stay in her arms for as long as he wished, stroking his back with gentle touches, pressing kisses to his hair. 

“You’re handsome. And clever. And one day you’ll be a great man.” she repeated. 

Oswald had never wanted to make her more proud in his life. If only he could…

~*~ 

The evening came with no news from Ed whatsoever. Oswald decided he couldn’t wait any longer and called him. 

“I can’t talk now, Oswald.” Ed said over the phone. 

“But are you okay? What happened?” 

“I’m tired.” he sounded it. “Everything’s fine. Don’t worry. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?” 

“Okay…” Oswald deflated. “Good ni--” 

Ed had hung up before Oswald could finish. 

~*~ 

They met in Oswald’s room when Oswald’s mother went out. For some annoying reason Ed would avoid her  _ even now  _ when clearly they had more important matters to be concerned about than Ed worrying about Gertrude’s opinion of him. At least, he was finally bringing some answers. Or so Oswald thought…

“Everything’s fine. Kristen is not plotting anything against us. We’re good.” 

Oswald blinked, his jaw hanging slightly. “That’s it? Nothing more?” 

Ed shrugged. “Nope.” 

“ _ Nope _ !?” Oswald arched both eyebrows. 

Ed shrugged again and reclined on Oswald’s bed, fiddling with a bunch of old drawings the two had worked on some time ago for fun. 

Oswald gaped at him. Was he for real!? “Ed, what happened on that meeting?” 

“Nothing. We talked. She’s alive. She’s not mad at me for-- for her neck. And that’s it.”

“ _ Wonderful _ .” Oswald said sarcastically. “You’re  _ lying  _ to me. After everything we’ve been through together you’re  _ lying  _ to  _ me  _ !” 

Ed sighed. If Oswald didn’t know better, he would’ve assumed the sigh was one of irritation. Surely Oswald had the right to ask questions about this! It affected him too, after all! If nothing else. 

“Ed!  _ Say something  _ !” 

Ed sat up and the bed creaked a little. “What do you want me to say? She’s not dead. We’re safe.” 

“How did she survive? What happened after you strangled her? Did she tell someone? Is she mad at you? Was she the one sending us body parts?” Oswald listed. “Those are just the questions that come off the top of my head.” 

Another sigh. “Apparently, I didn’t kill her. She was just unconscious but my panic incapacitated me so it was as if I wasn’t even there when she left. She went home. She put some ice on it. She was fine.” 

Oswald couldn’t believe his ears. Most of all he couldn’t believe the calmness with which Ed was telling this story. 

“She said we can put all this behind us.” Ed continued. “And she doesn’t know anything about the body parts.” 

“Did you ask her?” Oswald was getting impatient with this whole situation. 

“Of course not! I expected her to mention it. But she didn’t so it was obviously not her.” 

Oswald exhaled loudly. “That’s insane, Ed. What did you expect her to say: ‘Oh, by the way, I almost forgot to mention it. I sent you a bunch of ears and noses this weekend. I hope we’re cool.’?” 

“You’re blowing this out of proportion.” 

“WHAT!?” 

Ed got up from the bed and put his hands on top of Oswald’s shoulders. “You should calm down, Oswald. You’re beginning to behave suspiciously.” 

Oswald sucked in a deep breath, trying not to lose it. “Ed. We were sent body parts of your presumably dead girlfriend. Don’t tell me I’m overreacting.” 

“Fair point.” Ed let go of him and returned to the bed. 

“So, I’m gonna ask you once again.” Oswald continued. “What  _ actually  _ happened on your meeting with Kristen?” 

Ed was silent for a long moment. For a second Oswald dared to hope that he’d tell him the truth this time. But then, “I told you what happened.” Ed uttered. 

Oswald exhaled and pursed his lips. “Get out.” 

“Oswald…” 

“Get out, Ed.” 

Instead of being honest with Oswald, Ed left. And Oswald felt hurt and alone like he hadn’t felt in months. 

~*~ 

“I’m pretty sure this is a bad idea.” Ivy said, tilting her head slightly. A lock of her red hair fell in her eyes and she started blowing at it. 

Oswald rolled his eyes and reached out to put the lock behind her ear. “You think I don’t know that? But what other options have I got?”

“I don’t know. Tell your mother the truth?” Ivy suggested. 

Oswald shook his head, biting at the inside of his cheek. “No, not that. I can’t do that. She’ll be heartbroken. You’ve no idea how much she wanted me to get into college.” 

Ivy sighed. “At last your mother cares. My parents don’t give a damn.” 

There was really little one could say to make Ivy feel less shitty about that. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze to at least let her know she wasn’t alone. 

They were in the park again, their usual place. Ivy had brought a seed that she intended to plant there. She said it was a symbol of her and her own personal growth. Oswald only shrugged and went with it because he needed the distraction anyway. 

“So how do we do this planting thing?” he asked, changing the subject to something Ivy would find more pleasant. 

“Right!” she clapped her hands together and smiled. “I’m gonna need you to help a little with this. Can you dig hole?” 

Oswald sighed with an eye roll. If only she’d known… “I can dig a hole in the ground, Ivy.” he assured. “I’m pretty good at it actually.” 

She beamed. “Excellent! That’s what you’re gonna help me with!” 

They started on with the planting while discussing Oswald’s new and quite frankly insane plan about college when suddenly Ivy grabbed his wrist tightly, cutting him off and also almost cutting off the circulation of his hand.  

“Ivy, what the--?”  

She signalled him to look towards the park alley. When he followed her gaze he saw Ed and Kristen, walking too close to one another for people who were no longer together. They seemed deep in conversation and didn’t even notice Oswald and Ivy. Ed waving his hands agitatedly while Kristen interrupted him every now and then, and spoke in a low but assured manner. 

“I thought they broke up.” Ivy said quietly. 

“They did.” Oswald replied, glaring in Kristen’s direction. He didn’t trust her. She was obviously after something. Possibly blackmailing Ed. That would explain why he lied to Oswald the other day. 

“So what’s with the park dates?” 

“I don’t know. He wouldn’t tell me.” Oswald said, glancing down at his dirty hands. He couldn’t quite mask the hurt in his voice. Luckily for him, Ivy didn’t detect it, too preoccupied to observe Ed and Kristen from a distance. 

“I could ask someone.” she offered. “People suddenly want to be my friends after prom. Especially guys. I’ll gather more information.” 

Oswald was about to shake his head when suddenly a realization hit him. That was not a bad point. 

“Yes, Ivy, do that.” he heard himself say. “Find out more about Kristen. Perhaps, try Lee. She seems to be good friends with her.” 

Ivy nodded. “Sure.” 

“Oh, and don’t mention me, okay?” 

Ivy nodded and smiled again. “Got it.” 

A part of him felt bad to involve Ivy in all this. She had no idea what was really going on and she was a sweet girl that would do much better by staying away from the likes of Kringle who suddenly showed up after they’ve been strangled. But on the other hand, Oswald needed dirt on Kristen and Ivy was the perfect tool to get information without causing suspicions. Certain sacrifices were necessary. 

~*~  

Ed started spending most of his time with Kristen again. When Oswald asked him if she was blackmailing him, he denied it, saying Kristen was a good person and they were working on their relationship. Oswald really couldn’t see what was there to work on but Ed excused himself with college preparations and Oswald was left to choke on his own emotions. 

Nothing about this situation was good. At least Ivy loved her new mission. She was approaching it as if she was some sort of a superspy. It was insane the amount of imagination and dedication she’d put into it. She even came up with code names. 

“Penguin. Penguin, come in, Penguin.” 

“Ivy, we’re talking over the phone and we’re not in a spy movie.” 

“Code names!” Ivy scolded loudly. 

Oswald groaned. “Penguin here. Come in, Poison Ivy.” 

“The gift arrived.” 

“What?” 

“The gift arrived.” she repeated. 

Oswald let out an exasperated sigh. “Don’t tell me we have codes too now!”  

“That’s not a code. I got your present.” 

“What present?” 

“The present you sent me?” 

“I didn’t send you a present.” 

Silence. 

“Oh.” Ivy muttered. “Sorry. I assumed it was you. I guess it’s a secret admirer then.” 

Oswald chuckled fondly. “They can’t stay away from you now.”

“It’s nice because they chose my favorite color for the wrapping. I wonder what’s inside...” 

Ivy’s favorite color was  _ green _ . _ Green wrapping! _

“Ivy, no, stop!” Oswald gasped, grasping the phone tightly in his hand. “Don’t open it!” 

“Why? It’s mine.” 

“Just trust me! Don’t open the green box! Don’t move it, don’t touch it, don’t let  _ anyone  _ touch or see it!” 

“But, Oswald…” 

“Do as I say! No questions asked! I’ll be there in a bit.” 

What had he done? How could he ever be arrogant enough to think he could outsmart  _ the Riddler _ whose hobby was sending chopped body parts to people? Poor, poor Ivy! Oswald only hoped he could get to her in time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again two chapters in one day??? Almost makes up for the sort of cliffhanger, doesn't it? ;)


	13. Chapter 13

He ran to Ivy’s home like a crazy person, as fast as his leg would permit him. It hurt like hell but it would be even worse if Ivy got to open that box and find-- God knows what part of Kristen-not-Kristen inside! The small hovel-like home was not too far from Oswald’s flat so it was faster to go by foot than it was had he gone with a car. And yet he was terrified of being too late when he finally knocked on the door, panting hard as he was trying to get his breath back. 

Ivy opened the door almost instantly, obviously expecting him. “Oswald, I don’t understand--” 

“Where’s the green box?” He asked with no preambles, carefully pushing her away and entering. 

“It’s on my desk in my room but why…” 

Without any further delay he hurried to Ivy’s room and as she said he found it on her desk. A small box in green wrapping with yellow bow on top. A picture of innocence but he knew better. He knew what a nightmare those were. 

Relief washed over him when he realized it was still unopened. He let out a long sigh and took the box in his hands. 

“You listened to me.” he whispered, still panting and pressing the box to his chest. “You did as I said. Thank you.” 

Ivy was looking at him kind of funny. “Oswald… what was that all about? You’re acting…” 

“I know.” 

“... crazy.” 

“I know. And I’m sorry. But this box, it wasn’t meant for you. It should’ve never gotten to you at all. It’s-- it’s for me.” he said, attempting to fit the box in his pocket and failing. 

Ivy crossed her arms on her chest and gave him another look. “For you?” 

“Yes.” he nodded. 

“This box was meant for you.” she repeated, rather suspiciously. 

He nodded again. 

“Why was it in front of my door then?” 

“Erm…” he stuttered. “I might have typed the wrong address when I ordered it online.” he lied, blurting the first thing that came to his mind. 

She arched an eyebrow. “So it’s not a present for me. It’s something you bought for yourself?” 

He nodded. 

“And you ran here from your home with your injured leg just so that I don’t open it?” 

He was desperately trying to ignore the throbbing pain in his leg as he nodded feverishly. Damn it, she should just trust him on this one! 

Just when he thought this conversation would go on forever, Ivy burst into a cheerful laughter. 

“You’re snuggling that green box like I could pull it out of your hands any moment!” she gasped joyfully. 

He realized that she had a point. After several failed attempts to shove it in his pocket, he had indeed started clenching the damn box. 

“Um…” he mumbled awkwardly. 

Ivy then grinned at him cleverly. “I know what that is.” she said. 

Oswald paled. “You d-do?” The grip of his fingers around the box instinctively tightened. 

“Mhmmm.” she nodded, getting closer. “You got yourself some weird sex toy, haven’t you?” 

He gaped. “What?” 

“That’s why you wrote my address instead of yours -- so your mother doesn’t find it when it’s delivered.” Ivy giggled amused. “And that’s why you ran all the way here despite the obvious pain you’re in right now, when I was about to open it. You’re terrified that I’ll see what it is, aren’t you?” She looked so proud of her discovery. “Look at you! All embarrassed and bothered!” she kept on giggling. 

Oswald was still gaping. _ A sex toy, Ivy? Really? _ But ridiculous as that story was, it still provided a better explanation for his behavior than any excuse he could manufacture at the moment. So he went with it. He sucked in a deep breath and braced himself for all the teasing that was sure to follow after his confirmation of Ivy’s theory. 

“Sure.” he said. “Yes, you guessed it. It’s a sex toy. And I ordered it online, typing your address on purpose. Just like you said. For the reasons you said. Really clever, Ivy. There’s no fooling you.” 

She clapped her hands happily. “I knew it!” she pulled him to sit down on the bed. He landed on it with a thump and a stifled groan of pain. 

“What is it?” Ivy asked, biting at her lower lip and looking at him expectantly. 

“Pardon?” his voice went up, defensive, eyes wide.  

“What’s the toy you ordered?” 

“It’s-- I’m not telling you what it is!” 

“Oh, come on! I’m curious. What are you into? Is it something weird and kinky?” 

He grimaced. “What? No? What? Why would you even want to know that?” 

She shrugged. “It’s curious.” 

“Well, don’t be!”

“I didn’t even think you cared about sex at all. I assumed you were asexual or something.” She was still talking. Why was she still talking!? 

“Ivy, I don’t want to discuss  _ that _ .” 

“Mmm.” she was biting back her grin, amusement spreading across her face. 

He was going to regret this. Stupid Riddler, putting him in such ridiculous situations! … Then again, it wasn’t the Riddler who told Ivy to probe for dirt on Kristen Kringle. Damn it! It was all Oswald’s fault Ivy got that box, wasn’t it? 

“Ivy?” he said carefully. “Can you do me another favor?” 

Ivy nodded in her usual carefree fashion. Poor unsuspecting flower! 

“Sure.” she said. 

“End the mission.” Oswald said. 

She frowned. “But why?” 

“I don’t want you to look for information about Kristen anymore. Leave it be. It’s Ed’s life and he’s the one who should handle it.” 

“It’s no trouble for me to look, Oswald. I actually g--” 

“Just, stay away from Kristen Kringle, okay?” He gasped, losing his temper. Ivy was looking at him strangely, startled. He bit his lip and forced a smile to his face. “She’s not important and I don’t want to know anything about it anymore. So just stay out of it for me. Please?”  

Ivy made a face and sighed. “Alright. But I was having fun.” 

“I know but do it for me?” 

She looked at him for a long moment and then groaned. “Fiiine.  _ If  _ you tell me what’s in the box!” 

Oswald was screaming internally. Ivy was having the time of her life teasing him about that stupid box. She was grinning at him like a cheshire cat while he had no idea what to come up with to get her off his back. He could’ve just said anything and she’d have to take his word for it but the problem was Oswald didn’t know many sex toys. So he couldn’t invent a believable lie. Ivy was right when she said he never showed particular interest in sex. That was working against him now. 

Taking his difficulty to answer for shyness, Ivy laughed amusedly and booped his nose. “Just kidding, little bird!” she sing-songed. “Take your mysterious green sex toy home with you and have fun with it.” 

Oswald tried hard not to think too much of her words. Another wave of relief washed over him. Crisis averted! At least for now… 

~*~  

“Kristen Kringle is dangerous and I don’t like it that you spend so much time with her.” Oswald announced. 

Ed arched an eyebrow. “And hello to you too, Oswald.” 

“Right. Hello. May I come in?” 

Ed kept the front door of his house open for him to enter. Knowing the drill, Oswald instantly headed for Ed’s room so that they could talk undisturbed but what awaited there was more than a little surprising, not to mention unnerving. 

“Oswald. Hi.” Kristen greeted him with a smile of her own. 

Oswald froze, lips parting as he just stared in confusion. What was Kristen doing in Ed’s bedroom!? 

“Oswald decided to surprise us.” Ed said. He had followed him and was now leaning on the doorframe of his room, smiling widely. 

Oswald was still very much frozen. “Kristen. Hello. It’s good to--” he couldn’t bring himself to say  _ see you _ . “-- hello.” 

“ _ What can fly without wings? _ ” Kristen asked, getting up from the edge of the bed where she was sitting and smiling pleasantly. 

“Erm…?” Oswald mumbled puzzled. 

“Time.” Ed grinned wider. 

“Exactly.” Kristen said cheerfully. “Time flies and I should go now. You, boys, have a good day. Goodbye, Oswald.” 

“Bye…”

“I’ll see you later, Edward.” 

Ed smiled a smile Oswald hadn’t seen on his face before. “Of course.” 

The two shared a look that Oswald couldn’t quite read and she saw herself out. 

“Did Kristen just  _ ask us a riddle _ !?” Oswald gaped. 

Ed chuckled. “She’s cute, isn’t she?” 

“ _ Cute  _ !? Ed, this is the girl who knows you killed her ex and called you a psycho!” 

“Water under the bridge.” 

“What!?” 

“She was in shock. It’s not every day you learn your boyfriend killed your ex, after all.” 

“Ed… please, tell me the truth. Is she using this against you? Is she-- is she threatening you?” Oswald asked quietly, pointedly, eyes fixed on Ed as if he were hoping to read his very soul. 

Ed’s smile disappeared from his face and he looked serious again. “I told you before, Oswald. Things are good between Kristen and me. It’s not what you think.” 

“Well, forgive me if I have a hard time believing that everything’s just peachy between the two of you! Considering your history with her--” 

Ed took a sudden step closer that was startling enough to make Oswald shut up. They were flush against one another, Ed looking down on him, eyes hard and penetrating, his voice low and demanding. Oswald shivered. 

“You should drop this, Oswald.” Ed said. 

Oswald uttered some embarrassing unintelligible sound and shut his mouth close. 

“It’s no longer your concern. We’ve got this.” 

“We? Who’s  _ we _ ?” Oswald stuttered. 

“Me and-- the point is Kristen’s on our side. Yours and mine.” 

Oswald laughed bitterly. “She’s  _ not  _ on our side. I can tell you that. And if you were her, you probably wouldn’t be on our side either.” 

Ed rolled his eyes. “Why can’t you just trust me about this?” 

“Trust you? Trust you, Ed? You killed  _ two  _ people! One of whom came back to life to become your new bestie.  _ And  _ you’re  _ lying  _ to me. How can I trust you?” 

“Okay, alright!” Ed blurted out, seemingly unnerved by Oswald’s words. “I admit it. I lied. And I still am. But I have a good reason to. I’m protecting you.” 

“From what? From Kristen? Don’t you see that together we're stronger? Together we can take her down!” Oswald pleaded.

“It’s not Kristen, Oswald.” Ed interrupted him ominously. “Kristen is not the Riddler. She’s not after us because she doesn’t remember a thing from that night. She doesn’t know what I did. To her or to Dougherty.” Ed sucked in a deep breathe and continued, “She’s just as confused as we are. Maybe even more.” 

Oswald took that information in. “Are you sure? Perhaps she’s just lying to get you to relax and then--” 

“She doesn’t know. I’m sure of it.” 

Oswald pursed his lips. “Like you were sure she wasn’t breathing?” he asked pointedly. 

Ed gave him a stern look. 

“Alright. If you trust Kristen, fine. I myself can’t trust her. Or the Riddler. He sent Ivy a box too!” 

“What?” 

“It was a warning for me. And she didn’t open it so it’s all good now. But am I right in assuming that this psycho is still after us?” 

Ed nodded. “I’m going to find out who he is.” 

“I could help you, Ed!”

Ed shook his head. “Kristen has better leads. It’s to do with her after all.” 

“Wait… Kristen knows about the Riddler?” 

“He’s been targeting her too.” 

Oswald paled. “Ed… this is far more--” 

“I’ve got this under control! You’ll be safe, Oswald.” 

“I don’t want to be safe! I want you to be okay!” Oswald blurted out, cursing himself for the tears that were gathering in his eyes again. “I’m scared, Ed. I’m so scared for you…” 

Met with Oswald’s raw emotions Ed deflated. He pulled his friend into his arms, letting Oswald rest his head on his shoulders and grasp at him like a man drowning. Ed had noticed before that giving Oswald hugs really calmed the little guy. He stroke his head soothingly. 

“I’ll be alright. I promise.” 

“ _ Please… _ ” Oswald whispered quietly. 

“I promise.” 


	14. Chapter 14

Ed promised he’ll be alright but that didn’t reassure Oswald much. He was still full of mistrust towards Kristen and her weird story of not remembering anything. Also she claimed the Riddler was targeting her too? How exactly was that happening? And why? They still had no idea what the Riddler's motives were. If it wasn’t because of Kristen’s death, then there was absolutely no logical reason for that mysterious riddle-loving freak to even care about Ed, or Oswald, or Kristen, or anyone really. So many unanswered questions. Like, did Kristen receive green boxes full of what were supposedly her body parts too? It made no sense. And whose body parts did Ed and he bury in the woods? It was all very fishy and Oswald didn’t like fishy things. 

Ed wouldn’t discuss any of it with him anymore, claiming he was ‘keeping Oswald safe’ and ‘handling it just fine’. But in the meantime he was discussing it with Kristen whom Oswald didn’t trust. So it was a vicious circle. 

On top of that Oswald still nothing to do about the Riddler and those green boxes. Somehow  _ eventually he’s gonna run out of body parts to send us  _ wasn’t the most comforting of thoughts. Waiting wasn’t working because they didn’t have that sort of time. And things were getting considerably more difficult and unpredictable with each box. The Riddler did not even bothering to be discrete anymore. The boxes were delivered in all sorts of  _ public  _ places, each accompanied by a riddle with clues about where the next box will turn up. Yes, the hints weren’t about  _ what  _ was going to be in the box anymore, but about  _ where  _ the boxes could be found. And some of the riddles were quite complicated -- Ed had to work hard on figuring them out quickly enough so that he or Oswald could get to the place before the Riddler’s ‘gifts’ were discovered by someone else. 

There was no one to tell. Oswald didn’t want to worry his mother and Ed’s family sucked. Kristen was too busy being mysterious with Ed and Ivy was out of the question. Oswald wouldn’t involve her in any of this any more! Not after his last scare. The poor girl didn’t need to see any chopped body parts in her life. The police were also out of the question. Oswald and Ed couldn’t tell them anything without coming clean about Dougherty too. Also admitting the whole Kristen story. Any of those were not an option. 

So the boys were alone. But instead of being the two of them against the world -- a prospect which Oswald was actually quite fond of -- it was Oswald worrying sick while Ed mostly kept his distance and spent his time excessively with Kristen.  

Having enough of all this bullshit, Oswald decided he needed a distraction so he called Ivy, inviting her over for a marathon of that TV show she kept nagging him about. Ivy was naturally super excited about it and agreed at once. They had a great afternoon planned ahead of them. Oswald was looking forward to it. Gertrude prepared some sandwiches for them. She was still very fond of Ivy, always hugging her and being very kind to her whenever Ivy was around. 

“You and my mother,” Oswald chuckled amused, “I’m surprised you’re not hanging out together when I’m not around.” 

“Who says we’re not?” Ivy winked. “The things she’s told me about you.” 

Oswald blushed tomato red and pursed his lips. “What?” 

Ivy laughed cheerfully. “It’s alright. I won’t tell anyone, Pengy.” 

He rolled his eyes. “Don’t call me Pengy.” he pleaded. 

She had taken his codename  _ Penguin  _ and turned it into the ridiculous nickname  _ Pengy _ . It irritated him no end. He had asked her not to use it several times but she still liked to tease him. 

“Anyway, I’m still looking for a job.” Ivy said, stuffing her mouth with a sandwich. 

“How’s that going?” 

She shrugged. “Terrible.” 

“This is Gotham. Terrible is normal here.” 

“Can I ask you something?” Ivy said thoughtful. 

“Sure.” Oswald nodded, eating his own sandwich with great appetite. 

“If Gotham’s so horrible, why don’t you leave?” 

He considered it for a moment, surprised by the question as if the mere idea of leaving Gotham had never even crossed his mind. 

“I don’t know.” he finally said. “Gotham sucks but it’s my home. I  _ know  _ Gotham. I can’t just leave and go to some other boring place that I know nothing about.” 

Ivy hummed. “I see.” 

“Besides, I can’t leave now. I’m going to college.” he winked. 

Ivy rolled her eyes and groaned. “Your college plan is  _ insane _ !” 

“So you keep saying.” 

“Because it’s true. You can’t  _ pretend  _ to be a college student.” 

Oswald kept eating, not particularly bothered by her very reasonable words. “I can. And I will. All I have to do is tell my mother that I got accepted. I’ll even live on campus if I have to. She’ll buy it. I’ll get work somewhere near GU and apply again next year. I’ll get accepted eventually then everything will be fine. Like I never even lied at all.” 

Ivy sighed. “It’s overly complicated. Just tell your mom you’ll apply next year. She loves you, she won’t be mad.” 

Oswald was suddenly very serious. “It’s not about her being mad.” he said. “It’s about sparing her feelings. I don’t want to disappoint her.” 

“She loves you so much, Oswald. She won’t care!” 

“I’ve made up my mind. Please, don’t tell her anything about it.” he said, looking down at his food and blinking slightly more rapidly than was normal. 

Ivy knew when she was faced with an impossible task. She nodded. “Of course. I won’t spoil it for you. But I disapprove.” 

His phone buzzed before he could reply. Oswald glanced at the screen. 

“Oh. A text from Ed.” he said and read it instantly. “He wants me to meet up with him and Kristen tonight. For dinner.” 

He looked up at Ivy, puzzled. “That’s new.”

“And weird.” Ivy added. 

“Yes, it is.” Oswald said, frowning. “I don’t know why he’d want that.” 

“He’s being a weirdo.” 

“Don’t call him that. He hates it.” 

She sighed. “Sorry. I’m the last person to call anyone names. But he is acting weird. And so is Kristen. She actually started resembling Ed now. She even asked me a riddle the other day.” 

Oswald furrowed his brows. “She asked me a riddle too…” 

“And she’s avoiding some of her old friends. It’s very strange.” 

“Yes…” 

Ivy chuckled conspiratorially. “Maybe she switched with her twin sister or something.” 

“Huh?” 

“Oh, yeah.” Ivy nodded smuggly. “It’s one of the things I found out about Kristen when I was digging info on her. She has a twin sister who lives in another state with Kristen’s father. Their parents are divorced, you see. No one knows about the sister because Kristen and her mom hardly ever mentioned her when they moved to Gotham.”

Oswald’s eyes went wide. 

“You okay, Pengy? You’re all--” 

“I just remembered that I’m very busy this afternoon.”

“Yeah, you’re busy with me.” The  _ duh  _ was implied. 

“No, I’m busy busy. So would you please…?” 

Ivy blinked a few times before she realized what he wanted from her. “Oh! You want me to leave?” 

“Yes.” 

“But I thought we were having a marathon.” 

“Rain check? It’s just that, I should talk to Ed before that dinner he wants.” he explained. 

Ivy deflated. “Oh. Ed. So of course you’d want  _ me  _ to leave. Ed shows up so there's noooo room for Ivy anymore.” 

Oswald’s jaw slacked. “Ivy, that's not tr--” he cut himself off. Come to think of it, it was sort of true. He only went to Ivy when Ed wasn't around. The sudden realization made him feel like such an asshole. “Oh. I actually do that. You’re right…” he looked at her guiltily. “Ivy, I’m really sorry. I just… It's  _ Ed _ .” 

“So?” 

“He needs me.” 

“That's the only reason he comes to you these days.” she deadpanned. 

“It’s more complicated than that.” Oswald said, getting all fidgety. 

“How so? He only calls you when he needs something from you.” 

“Ivy, he's my oldest friend.” 

“You are allowed to have other friends, you know. A life of your own. The world doesn't revolve around Ed Nygma!” 

Oswald swallowed the lump in his throat. His hands were trembling a little and he clenched them into fists to make the shaking stop. What was with him?

Ivy’s face suddenly cleared up. “Oh. I see. Well, makes sense.”  

Oswald frowned, puzzled. “What?” 

The corners of her lips curled up in a small smile. “I always joke about it but I didn't think how close to the truth I was all this time.”

“What truth?” Oswald was getting impatient. 

Ivy chuckled. There was something sad to it. “Ed’s not just your oldest and best friend, isn't he?  _ You're in love with him, Oswald. _ You  _ love  _ Ed. That explains  _ so  _ much.”

“Pfft! Nonsense.” Oswald waved it off instantly. What an  _ insane  _ idea! 

“You don't even realize. It would've been adorable if it weren’t so sad.”

His smile fell. “It's  _ not  _ sad!” 

“Don’t get defensive. I'm only trying to help you.”

“There's nothing to be helping me about!” 

“Now, do I sense another tantrum? You get those a lot lately.” She observed. 

He had the distant feeling that she had a point but it was too late to stop himself now. He couldn’t control his temper. “Ivy, please, just go!” 

“No need to push me away. I’m here for you!”

“I'm not pushing you away but this is insane!” 

“Okay.” She smiled the calm smile of a person who knew better. Someone who did not believe him one bit but was willing to let him think he was right. It was infuriating and for some reason also hurtful. 

“Stop that, Ivy! Just stop it! Ed loves Kristen! And she’s probably lying to him but he still loves her! There’s no other explanation why he’s acting like that! He’s hanging onto her every word like a lovesick puppy and won’t listen to me! When he’s with her I don’t even exist for him anymore! I  _ hate  _ her! I want to kill her! I hate her!” 

Once it was all out he could finally breathe, his pulse slowly calming down. But then he realized what he’d blurted out. It was not only embarrassing but also dangerous. He stared at Ivy who surprisingly did not seem too bothered by his outburst. 

“Erm…” he opened his mouth to speak but then his mother opened the door of his room, showing her head inside and looking quite confused. 

“Is everything alright, Oswald?” she asked carefully. “I heard you yelling.” 

He looked like he was going to cry. He felt like it too.  

“He’s alright, Mrs. Kapelput.” Ivy said quickly. “He was impersonating a character from our show.” 

“Ah.” Gertrude nodded, still puzzled. 

“Like in theater.” Ivy added with a smile. 

Apparently that was the right thing to say. Gertrude Kapelput melted into a smile. “He’s always such an artist, my Oswald.” she said. 

“He sure is.” Ivy agreed. 

Oswald wanted to die. 

“I’m going to the shop. Do you, kids, need anything?” Gertrude offered. 

Ivy glanced at Oswald, who only shut his eyes closed, and then back at Gertrude.    
“No, thank you.” she smiled. 

Gertrude smiled back and closed the door again. They heard her turn the key to the front door as she left the flat. 

Oswald looked guiltily at Ivy. 

“I hate lying to your mother, y’know.” Ivy said, ice cold. 

He didn’t say anything, avoiding her eyes. 

“You should do something about your nerves.” Ivy continued. “Your emotions are all over the place.” 

He rested his head in his hands. 

“Perhaps some herb tea might help. Plants have more powers than we think.” 

Again he said nothing. 

“Do you really want me to leave?” Ivy asked after a beat. 

He shrugged, not looking up. 

“Can you even meet Ed when you’re so--” 

“I’ll handle it.” His voice cracked slightly but at least he managed to look her in the face now. “Ivy, about--” 

She waved it off. “It’s fine. You did say you’re sorry.” she gave his hand a squeeze. “If you need me, I’m only a phone call away. Much like you are for Ed.” She tapped him on the shoulder and headed towards the door. 


	15. Chapter 15

He did sort of manage to pull himself together by the time he had to meet Ed and Kristen for dinner. But he was still internally shaken by Ivy’s words. What was she thinking, accusing him of being in love with Ed!? That wasn’t in the least true! Oswald loved Ed, yes, of course he did, but surely that was normal between best friends. Oswald couldn’t  _ be in love _ with Ed. He simply couldn’t. Because if he was in love with Ed, well…, then Ed would reject him completely and he’d lose Ed forever. So no, Oswald was definitely  _ not  _ in love with Ed. Oswald loved Ed as a friend. The only kind of love he knew Ed  _ could reciprocate _ . 

Oswald arrived at Ed’s home slightly early. He was hoping to get to talk to him before Kristen arrived. Or should he call her  _ Kristen’s twin _ ? That was who she was, after all. He was almost 100% certain of it. The pieces were finally beginning to fit together. And if that was Kristen’s twin instead of Kristen herself, then Ed and he were definitely were in trouble! Whatever relationship Ed had with Kristen’s twin it was wrong on too many levels to count. And Oswald had to warn Ed about it. 

He rang the doorbell. No reply. He waited then rang it again and again. Still no reply. 

Oswald rolled his eyes and took out his phone, dialing Ed’s number. Ed’s phone was turned off. A certain visceral fear began creeping inside Oswald’s chest. He swallowed nervously and tried the door handle instead. It was unlocked! He pushed it open and carefully entered Ed’s home. 

“Ed?” he looked around. There was no sign of his friend or his friend’s date. “Eddd?” Oswald called out slightly louder. 

Before he knew it, he sensed a shadow approaching him from one side and then something heavy hitting him on the head. Everything went black. 

~*~ 

Isabella Kringle loved her books. She was enraptured in her fantasy world filled with fictional characters, brave heroes, loyal lovers, happy endings. She had a feeling even the tragic endings were happy in their own way when one’s loyal love remained true. Isabella herself had never felt romantic love, not in the sense she imagined it should feel like. She had felt disappointment though. In her parents when they were arguing loudly without concern for their frightened children; again in her parents when they finally decided to get a divorce and even more so in her parents when they decided to separate her from her best friend -- her beloved sister Kristen. Kristen was everything Isabella loved. Other than her books and fictional characters, she only had Kristen to trust. So when they were separated at the age of 12, Isabella shut herself out from the outside world even more. While other girls played outside, attacked the malls, got more and more curious about boys, Isabella was reading in her room and texting to her sister. She was happy that way. 

Kristen texted her about everything in her life. She texted her about their mother, about her new friends, about her new life. She texted her about Lee and Barbara, about their little quarrel over Jim, about her new crush Thomas, and even about the creepy geek with the glasses that kept pestering poor Kristen. Isabella herself thought he sounded cute with his riddles but Kristen’s comments about how Isabella knew nothing about boys always made her shut up about it. In a way the texting made it feel like Isabella was still a part of her sister’s life. Despite the distance. 

They met in person too, of course. But that was mostly around holidays and it was hardly enough. Still Isabella was happy. Because she had her sister’s love, her books and the beautiful world inside her head. 

Until one day, that world collapsed. 

~*~

Oswald blinked at the light that was suddenly too bright for him. He slowly came back to his senses. His head hurt like hell, his vision was still blurry, and he couldn’t move. 

“What…” he mumbled, still dizzy from the punch to the head he had to endure. 

“Shhh, don’t strain yourself. It’ll hurt more.” A familiar voice came from behind him. 

He clenched his muscles in an attempt to stand up only to realize he was tied up to some sort of a weird chair contraption. 

“What is happening!?” he gasped, getting angrier by the minute. 

That same voice chuckled amused. Oswald couldn’t bend himself enough to see who the person behind him was, but he didn’t need to. 

“Where’s Ed?” he yelled. “I demand you tell me!” 

He heard footsteps approach closer, making the hairs on his neck stand up. It was a game of nerves and she wanted to put him on edge. She -- their secret enemy. 

“Are you surprised to see me here, Oswald?” she asked, pleasantly. 

A hand on his shoulder. A female hand. And then Kristen smiling at him. Only he knew that this wasn’t Kristen. Because the real Kristen was  _ dead _ . Truly dead. Those body parts he and Ed had received, they were Kristen’s, there was no doubt about that now. 

“I know who you are!” he spat in her face. “I know who you are and I’m going to tell Ed  _ everything _ ! You won’t get away with this!”  

Kristen’s twin laughed. “Oh, so the jig is up. I’m Isabella, by the way. Nice to finally introduce myself to you.”

“Untie me this instant! When Ed finds out about this he’s going to--” 

She chuckled amused. “Oh, Oswald. You’re so naive.” Isabella leaned closer to him to whisper, “Ed  _ already knows _ .”

Oswald frowned, trying to make sense of it. 

“He’s the one who’s been helping me pass for Kristen all this time.” she explained nonchalantly, straightening up again. 

Well, of course Ed knew. He even told Oswald, sort of.  _ “It’s  _ **_not Kristen_ ** _ , Oswald. Kristen is not the Riddler.”  _ Oswald didn’t think of it that much back then, didn’t see through the subtle admission. But now… 

“What do you want from us?” he exhaled. 

“From you? Nothing. From Ed? Now, that’s a good question… What do I want from Ed… Hmmm.” Isabella pretended to think about it very threatrically. “Well, Ed is my friend, after all. He even told me he loves me. So soon after my dear sister, too. Naughty!” 

“Ed really cared for Kristen!” 

Isabella tilted her head. “I know he did. She told me everything about him. I know him as well as she did. That’s why I asked him to help me find her killer. I knew I could trust him.” 

Oswald paled. Ed’s words from their heated argument returned to his mind:  _ We’re dealing with it.  _ That was who the  _ we  _ were. Ed and Isabella. 

“Of course,” Isabella continued, sounding entertained, “he doesn’t know I was there the night he killed her. He doesn’t know I’ve already found the murderer.” 

Oswald’s jaw slacked as he finally had his confirmation. “You’re the Riddler...” he whispered.

She shrugged. “Yes, I heard you two call me that. It’s fun. It’s stupid, but it’s fun.” 

“You… _chopped_... your own sister’s body parts and sent them to us, gift wrapped!” 

“To Ed, really. No one ever invited you to the party.” she clarified. 

“You sent Ed severed body parts!” 

“He killed my sister! What was I supposed to do? Let him get away with it? He had to pay!” 

“Mental torture, severed body parts and horrible riddles. I’d say you got your revenge on him. What more do you want?”

She shook her head, suddenly getting deadly serious. “No.” she leaned closer to Oswald, her gaze burning. “No, Ed’s a  _ murderer  _ and he deserves to  _ suffer _ . Like my poor sister suffered at his hands!”

“She didn’t really suffer…” Oswald tried to soften it a bit. “It was more or less painless. She was only--”

“--  _ strangled _ !?” 

Oswald bit his lips. Isabella did make some pretty strong points. “Okay, so when you say it like that it does sound kind of bad…” 

“Kind of!?” 

He sighed. “Look, Isabelle--” 

“IsabelLAH!” 

“Right. I understand you’re angry, I even feel for you, but Ed suffered enough. It was an accident! He loved Kristen very much. You should know that better than anyone. Please, just don’t hurt him anymore.”

“And why do you defend a killer? Hmm? Look what he dragged you into. Why would you even be in the same room as him if-- Oh!” her face brightened up, a smirk spreading across her face. “Oh, I see. You love him.”

Oswald’s face did a thing. “What? No!”

“You love him, you do. I can tell.” she laughed. “You’re in love with Ed!” 

Oswald groaned. Why were everyone suddenly claiming that about him!? Was this some kind of epidemic? A virus that made people say Oswald was in love with Ed!? 

Isabella seemed quite amused, grinning at him with manic thrill. “What’s it like to be in love with a murderous psychopath?” 

“Oh, I don’t know. What’s it like to  _ kiss  _ one?” he bit back.

Isabella smirked. “Something  _ you’ll never  _ find out.” she enunciated, taking immense pleasure in each syllable. 

For some inexplicable reason those words actually enraged Oswald more than being captive. He would’ve charged at her, clawed her eyes out, but he was still tightly bound to her contraption. 

“Poor bird.” Isabella continued. “You must understand, Oswald, that I never meant to hurt  _ you _ . You were just there. Collateral damage, so to speak. Ed was the one I was after. He’s the villain here. You’re just  _ pathetic  _ but you’re not responsible for what happened to Kristen.”

Oswald swallowed.

“It saddens me that you got involved in this mess. But I’m afraid you won’t survive this.” she said with fake regret. 

That was a young woman capable of chopping her sister’s body parts and sending them in boxes with riddles to people, dressing up as her sister while pretending to date the sister’s murderer. At this point Oswald wasn’t surprised Isabella could kill him. He had to set himself free. He had to find out where Ed was. They had to survive this! 

“So you’ll become a murderer? Like the very man you despise?” he asked. Some emotional manipulation might turn out helpful in this case. Hopefully… 

Isabella smirked. “Oh, I’m not the one who’s going to kill you. Ed is.”

Oswald paled. What was that now? 

“I’m going to make him hate you so much, he’s going to kill you. Personally.”

“Ed won’t do that.” Oswald said without hesitation. 

“Oh, he will. When he finds out about your betrayal he won’t even hesitate to end you. He’ll wrapp his big hands around your neck,” she illustrated, “and he’s going to  _ squeeze _ …” 

“He’s my friend! He cares about me!” Oswald blurted out, tears welling in his eyes. “He won’t kill me! I never betrayed him!” 

“Perhaps.” Isabella allowed. “But that’s not what he’ll see.”

“He’ll know it’s a lie! Whatever you tell him, he’ll know it’s a lie! He knows I would  _ never  _ betray him!” Oswald sobbed. 

“Sure. But imagine Ed’s surprise when he discovers that it’s been you all this time, sending him riddles with Kristen’s body parts.” she tsked. “Toying with him and his vulnerability just for the sheer fun of it. The ultimate betrayal.”

Oswald’s heart dropped. She was going to frame him as the Riddler. “Ed won’t believe  _ that _ .” he said firmly. 

Isabella laughed. “Oh, but he will. He has proof.” 

“W-what--what proof? There’s no proof!” 

She smiled sweetly at him. “Oswald, where do you suppose Ed is right now?” 

Oswald bared his teeth. “If you do something to him, I  _ swear  _ I’m gonna--” 

She stopped him right there. “He’s fine. He’s free. It was his idea to call you here at this time so that you won’t get in the way.” 

“In the way of what?” 

“In the way of him discovering your secret hiding place, of course. You know, the one where you hid Kristen’s body.” 

Oswald’s eyes went wide with terror. 

“We had leads in our own little investigation of who’s sending those riddles to us. And those leads pointed to you.” 

“No.” he croaked. 

“Naturally we needed proof so Ed decided I should keep you busy here so that he’d be able to investigate _ your secret lair _ .” 

“That’s a lie! He won’t believe a lie!”

“He definitely didn’t want to believe it when I first suggested to him that the Riddler might be you. But still he made this chair to keep me safe from you just in case.” She smirked. 

“No, Ed wouldn’t think that about me...” Oswald whispered, hanging his head and letting the tears fall down his cheeks. 

“Don’t fret. Just because he trusts me more than you, that’s no reason to bring down the mood in your last hours of being alive. Ed will return any moment now and he’s going to take care of you. Permanently.” 

“Whatever you prepared for him to find there, I’ll tell him the truth and he’ll know it’s a lie.” 

“I don’t know… A secret hideout under  _ your  _ name, with  _ your  _ things and plans,  _ your  _ handwriting, and most of all Kristen’s body. It does look pretty convincing to me.” 

Oswald shook his head frantically. “N-no.”

Oswald heard the sound of someone unlocking the door. Isabella perked up. 

“Ah! Here he is! My brave hero!” she smiled. “Ed? Ed, hurry! Ed, he’s told me some  _ horrible  _ things!” 

Ed slowly entered the room. His face was pale, he looked like a ghost. Or as if he’d seen a ghost. His usually tidy hair was now completely disheveled. He looked at Oswald with eyes heavy with disappointment and sorrow. It was so hurtful to see Ed look at him like that. 

“Ed, please…” Oswald pleaded. This time he didn’t really know what else to say, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t ‘get clever’ with Ed. All he wanted was to make Ed believe him, him and not Isabelle! To pour his heart at Ed and hope he’d believe the truth and not the lies of the young woman he obviously loved. “Ed, she’s lying! I swear I would never submit you to such awfulness! Ed, I promise!” 

Ed kept walking towards Oswald, brows furrowed, face unreadable like stone. He looked deadly. 

“Ed?” Oswald’s voice cracked. He was unable to stop his tears now. 

“Well, Ed. What are you going to do with the person who chopped Kristen’s body like a pig for slaughter?” Isabella asked, breathing harshly. 

“I’m going to make them suffer.” Ed said low and determined. His voice gave Oswald chills. 


	16. Chapter 16

“Ed, please!” Oswald sobbed. “You have to believe me, Ed! She’s a liar! She’s the Riddler!” 

Ed glared at Oswald one more time before walking closer to Isabella and wrapping an arm around her waist. He pulled her closer to himself and she leaned into him like a couple in love would do. 

“You checked the sight? Like we planned?” She asked, rubbing at his shoulder and chest. 

Ed nodded. “Like you said.” 

“No! Ed, no! It’s not true!” Oswald gasped. “She knows you strangled Kristen, she wants revenge! Ed, I didn’t do any of that, I swear, I would never betray you! She’s the Riddler, Ed!” 

Isabella’s face twisted in a pout. “See? He’s been yelling these horrible things to me all the time while you were away.” 

She looked so convincingly sad it was infuriating! 

“He did, didn’t he?” ed said, glancing at Oswald one more time. His gaze was cold, dead. It made Oswald flinch. 

She nodded, snuggling closer into Ed’s embrace, resting her head on his shoulder. Oswald felt a sharp pain piercing through his heart at that image. He didn’t know heartache was so literal. 

Ed placed his index finger under Isabella’s chin, lifting her face up and gazing into her eyes. 

“You’re magnificent.” he said. “Fate has brought us together. We’re like two sides of the same coin. You  _ complete  _ me. And I don’t care how cliche that sounds, it’s true.” 

Isabella smiled up at him. She tilted her head. “So we’re going to make him pay?” she asked, glancing at Oswald who by now was completely broken emotionally. 

Ed leaned in to press a kiss to her lips. Isabella was taken by surprise by the sudden display of affection at a scene like that when they had a tied up man waiting for Ed’s judgement, but she kissed back nevertheless. Oswald wanted to shut his eyes close, but it was like a car wreck -- horrific but one couldn’t look away. It was painful. Not only would Ed never care for him romantically, he’d also believe the poisonous lies Isabella said about him. He’d believed Oswald would betray him like that. Oswald was a deadman and his mother would be alone in the world, heartbroken by her son’s death. And as if things couldn’t get any worse, he also had to endure watching Ed kiss that woman. 

As if to twist the knife further into Oswald’s heart, Ed deepened the kiss. His hands slid up from Isabella’s waist to find their way around her long swan-like neck. She let out a little moan and Oswald felt hot tears falling from his eyes. But then Ed’s fingers wrapped tighter around her neck and she froze for a moment. Her eyes snapped open and her hands went up to pry Ed’s hands off of her. He didn’t let go. He broke the kiss to just observe as his arms squeezed tighter and tighter. Isabella began to struggle, tried to kick him, tried to punch him, but it was all in vain. He was stronger than her. And soon she went rigid in his arms. Only then did he release his grip on her. She dropped down on the floor instantly, like a sack of potatoes.

Ed was breathing harshly through his teeth. His hair was falling in his eyes so he pushed it away. He looked down on her as if evaluating his work. 

Oswald gaped. He could still make very little sense of what just happened. He tried to speak but no words came through his half-opened lips. 

Ed turned towards him and released him from the contraption. 

“Are you alright? You’re not hurt, are you?” Ed asked. His voice was low again but there were no ice cold notes to it this time, no disgust. He sounded concerned. 

Oswald tried to say something but he was still unable to. 

Ed glanced at Isabella once again. “She won’t be bothering us anymore.” he said. “She worked alone so we’re safe now.” he looked back at Oswald and smiled slightly. “I told you I’ve got it under control.” 

Oswald’s hands were trembling. His legs were shaking too but still he sprang up from the chair as soon as he was free. He didn’t want to spend another second in that dreadful contraption. He blinked at Ed, his vision still slightly blurred from all the crying. 

“You were playing her this whole time?” He finally managed to say. His own voice sounded foreign to his ears. 

“The moment I heard her story I realized something was up.” Ed said. “Then I made some inquiries of my own and I put two and two together.” 

“So you knew she was lying to you from the start?” 

“Not from the start, I must admit. I only had suspicions. So I stuck close to her to gain more information. I needed proof. And she gave me that proof when she pointed the evidence against you. I knew you weren’t the Riddler, Oswald. I trust you more than anyone in this world. I needed her to confess though. So I--” 

“-- you pretended you bought her story and you prepared this trap for me but in fact it was a trap for  _ her  _ !” Oswald realized, a smile spreading across his face. “Oh, Ed!” 

Ed nodded, smiling back. “I listened to her entire conversation with you. It was the proof I needed.” 

Oswald felt his cheeks heating up. Ed heard the  _ entire  _ conversation. Including the part where Isabelle said Oswald was in love with his best friend. It was a silly moment to be concerned about something like that but Oswald couldn’t help the anxiety in his stomach. What would Ed say about it? Did he believe it? 

Ed looked down at Isabella again and Oswald followed his gaze. Isabella was dead alright. Strangled like her sister. Her face was pale, her body cold. There were marks around her throat. Marks from Ed’s hand, Oswald realized with a shudder. He swallowed. 

“I thought you loved her.” he whispered quietly, as if confessing a secret deep fear. 

Ed let out a heavy breath. “I did. In a way.” he replied, not looking at Oswald. “She reminded me of Kristen, only unliked Kristen we had more things in common. We liked the same stuff, we actually got along quite well.” he let out a small chuckle. “When we were unburdened by Kristen’s death, finding clues, or body parts, we actually had some really good moments together.” 

Oswald swallowed around the lump in his throat. He wasn’t sure that this was what he was hoping to hear. 

“But that was all an illusion and I knew it.” Ed continued. “It was only a matter of time till her mask went down. And then I knew I had to be prepared to-- to strangle Kristen a second time.” 

Oswald realized how it must’ve felt for Ed. Isabella had Kristen’s face, she wore Kristen’s clothes and glasses, Kristen’s hairstyle. And Ed had to kill her the same way he accidentally killed her sister, reenacting one of the worst and most painful moments of his life. In this whole twisted situation all Oswald could find himself thinking was  _ Poor Ed _ . 

His hand hesitated for a moment, wavering in the air, before he finally placed it on Ed’s shoulder. “If there’s anything I can do, Ed. Anything at all…” he offered. 

“Well.” Ed said, sucking in a long breath. “You can help me dispose of another body for starters.” 

~*~ 

_ 3 months later…  _

“My son, the college boy!” 

It was technically a lie but seeing his mother so happy made Oswald happy too. Gertrude couldn’t stop crying, smiling and kissing him. She both wouldn’t let him go and push him towards the front door to leave at the same time. Oswald was chuckling fondly, amused at her conflicting behavior. His suitcase was standing packed and forgotten on the floor next to them while Mrs. Kapelput kept pulling her son into her embrace over and over again. She was sending her boy to college, she had the right to get a little emotional. 

Oswald himself was quite emotional about this whole thing too. True, he wasn’t really going to college to study -- that was still just a lie he told his mother so that she won’t be disappointed in him -- but moving out like that was still a big step. He was definitely going to miss living with his mother. But moving out was necessary. He wouldn’t be able to keep up the pretence of being a college student properly if he had to lie to her face every day for a whole year. Lying to her once and then be reminded of the guilt every time he visited was considerably easier for him. Besides, Ed needed a roommate. So now Gertrude Kapelput believed her son was a college boy who was going to live on campus, whereas in fact Oswald was renting a flat with Ed and working in a small Italian restaurant near Gotham University. Did he feel bad for lying to her? Yes. Was it worth it? Looking at how joyful she was, he’d say yes, definitely worth it.  

“Shall I help you with the moving?” Mrs. Kapelput offered. “It can be so tricky. I can help give your new place a woman’s touch.” 

“I’m sure you can, mother, but it’s alright. Ed and I’ve got this.” Oswald reassured for what felt like the 20th time today. 

She nodded, both nervous and happy for him. “I’ve prepared food for you. Your favorite goulash is packed in your suitcase too.” 

“Thanks, mom.” 

“And a few other delicious surprises, too, of course.” she added, twisting her hands worriedly. “Oh, I hope I’m not forgetting anything…” 

Oswald kissed her on the cheek. “You’re not. Besides, I’m not going  _ that  _ far away. It’s still Gotham. I can pop by any time. If you need anything, I’m just a phone call away.” 

She held his face gently and looked him in the eyes. “Promise that you will visit your mother often.” 

“Of course, I will. I’ll visit you very often, mother.” He smiled. And, oh, wasn’t that just great? Now tears were welling in his eyes too. Damn it.  

“My boy is going to achieve great things! Already so intelligent and handsome he is!” she kept muttering as she embraced him tightly. “And be careful! There might be some hussies out to get you tangled in their demon purses!” 

Oswald flushed. “Mother, I promise you nothing like that will happen!” 

“And don’t get involved in anything illegal.” she warned. 

The image of Isabella getting covered with earth as he and Ed buried her in the woods came to Oswald’s mind but he quickly pushed it back. 

“Of course not, mother.” he said instead, giving his mother another smile. 

“My handsome boy! I love you so much!” 

“I love you too, mother!” 

Finally after a very long goodbye Oswald finally left. Ed was waiting for him downstairs in his car. Yes, that’s right,  _ Ed’s car _ . One good thing that Ed’s parents did they let him keep the car. They settled in, ready to drive to what would be their new home. 

~*~ 

They spent most of the car ride in comfortable silence, both too excited to actually use words. This was a new beginning for them. As roommates. It felt quite unbelievable to Oswald. He never dreamed of having a friend this close to want to share an apartment with him. But he and Ed were definitely very close. After everything they’ve been through together, Oswald felt like he knew Ed better than anyone. And that went for Ed too. 

He glanced at his friend at the driving wheel and his mind wandered back to that day when he watched Ed kill Isabella. One would assume seeing your best friend murder someone would dampen your friendship, or at least present a certain level of uneasiness. Nothing of the sort happened to them. It was almost like their bond grew stronger after that incident. Isabella threatened them both, she had sent all those horrible boxes and riddles to them. And just when things looked utterly hopeless Ed had waltzed in there to save Oswald. Ed  _ trusted  _ Oswald and did his best to protect him. That was all Oswald could see in this situation. That was all he wanted to see. 

Ed noticed Oswald looking at him and he chuckled amused. “What is it? Do I have something on my face?” 

Oswald snapped out of it and looked back at the road. “No. Nothing, nothing.” 

“I doubt any of us will be able to cook after we finish with settling in today. So I suggest we order takeout for dinner.” he was smiling as he made his plans. “I saw there’s this nice Thai place close to our apartment. I can order something, if you want.” 

“Sounds wonderful.” Oswald agreed. He was practically beaming at Ed.  

“You don’t have any second thoughts? You’re sure you want to do this? Misinform your mother about college and move in with me?” 

He had asked that before but still Oswald took a moment to consider his actions one last time. 

“Yes.” he said. “Yes, I’m sure. I want to make her proud.”

There was no going back now. 

“Besides, this is exciting.” 

“I agree. It is.” Ed grinned back at him and then looked at the road again. 

They hadn’t discussed Isabella, Kristen, Dougherty, or any of it since that fateful day. But Oswald felt he had to get something off his chest before they close this chapter of their lives for good. 

“I never got to thank you for saving me from Isabella.” he said. 

“Don’t mention it.” Ed said quickly, his hands tightening slightly on the wheel. 

“No, it’s-- I have to say it.” Oswald insisted. “I was so worried you’d believe her. I was afraid you’d chose her over me.” 

“But I didn’t. We’re safe now. And we got away with it.” Ed said. Oswald was pleased to find that his friend no longer seemed so troubled by that topic. Ed continued. “Isabella’s dad thinks she went camping with friends so the police are  _ literally  _ looking for her in a whole different state. There’s no development on the Dougherty case either and Kristen, well… the majority of our schoolmates theorize Dougherty contacted her and they ran away together.” 

“I guess we got lucky.” Oswald chuckled nervously. 

Ed looked at him, all serious. “Luck has nothing to do with it. We were smart. We were clever enough to get away with it. And now nothing holds us prisoners anymore. We’re  _ free men _ .” 

Oswald thought about it. Free men. Together. It was good to be just the two of them, without any worries or fears hanging over their heads. No more riddles, no more green boxes, no more dead bodies. This was a new beginning. And it definitely sounded pleasant. 

“Yes.” he repeated with a smile. “We’re free men.”

~*~ 

They arrived at their new apartment in the afternoon. It was a small one -- two bedrooms and a living room/kitchen, but it had a really good bathroom with a tub so Oswald was immensely pleased with that. It was no luxurious palace but it was affordable and with a few additions here and there it could easily turn into a home. They started unpacking immediately and by the evening most of their stuff were already in place. Then they could finally flop down on the couch and eat the Thai takeout Ed had ordered. 

“Mmm!” Oswald hummed, mouth full. “It’s really as good as you said!” 

“Told you so.” Ed grinned, playing with his chopsticks. 

Oswald chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re such a dork.” 

Ed gave him a triumphant smile and a small bow which only amused Oswald more. 

“I’m glad we’re doing this.” Oswald said, meaning it. 

“Yeah, me too.” Ed nodded cheerfully. 

“It’s coming round quite nicely, isn’t it?” 

“Definitely.” Ed agreed, then his gaze slid to the far left corner of the room. “Especially those unopened boxes over there.” 

Oswald bit his grin back. “I’ll deal with them tomorrow, I promise. I can’t even move my legs anymore.” 

Ed gave him a small apologetic smile. “Sorry. You know I can’t help being a little obsessive over tidiness.” 

“I know, it’s sweet.” Oswald smiled into his takeout container and instantly felt his cheeks heating up. 

There was no denying it. He was in love with Ed. When Kristen and Isabella were around he never dared to think he had a chance so he did his best to push those feelings deep deep down. But now the tempting sweetness of hope was slithering its way into his heart, making him wonder  _ what if _ . 

After Kristen and Isabella Ed hadn’t expressed any interest in another woman whatsoever. Or in dating as a whole. True, that could be a result of his rather unfortunate first experiences with relationships, but it could also be a sign that Ed liked Oswald. It’s been months since Kristen’s death and Ed no longer seemed to mourn her. Instead he spent most of his summer hanging out with Oswald and getting ready for college life. And it wasn’t just that they were hanging out. There were other things, little things, that gave Oswald hope. Ed was always so kind to him, giving him compliments, saying how smart Oswald was and how much Ed admired him. Oswald was pretty sure Ed even complimented his ‘fine figure’ once or twice. Was that just a platonic observation, or was Ed having more tender feelings towards Oswald? They never talked about Isabella’s words that day (when she claimed Oswald was in love with Ed) but perhaps they didn’t need to? Perhaps Ed already reciprocated Oswald’s love? And perhaps this could actually work…? 

Oswald realized Ed was still talking. He was sharing his excitement about the new lectures he was planning to take, the labs, the library. And Oswald listened to him in awe. Not so much because of what Ed was actually saying, although that was fascinating too, but because spending time with Ed felt so good, so right. He couldn’t help the besotted and utterly love-struck expression on his face. 

“It’s going to be amazing.” Ed concluded. “And I’m really glad we get to experience this together.” 

“Yes, I’m glad too.” Oswald smiled with a dreamy look on his face. And then, “I love you.” he heard himself blurt out before he could even register what he was saying. 

The moment the words were out he felt dizzy. 


	17. Chapter 17

_ I love you.  _

The words had slipped out of him just like that. As natural as breathing. 

_ I love you.  _

The confession that could either turn Oswald’s life into a beautiful dream or destroy his entire world. 

_ I love you.  _

He was out with it and there was nothing left to do but wait for Ed’s reaction. 

Oswald remained very still in his seat, holding in his breath as he looked at his best friend with wide trusting eyes. 

Nothing quite as dramatic as what he expected happened. Ed only turned towards him with a smile on his face. 

“Aww. I love you too, Oswald.” he said with a smile. “You’re the best friend I could ever have.” 

Then he went on eating his food. 

And just like that the tempting sweetness of hope died in Oswald’s heart. The smile remained on his face, he kept listening to Ed’s stories and thoughts. But he knew that no matter how much Ed cared about him, it was not the same love Oswald felt for him. And all he could do about it was swallow it down and learn to live with it. 

~*~ 

Maroni’s restaurant was a small but pleasant place near Gotham University. It had a bunch of frequent clients, mostly college professors and a few students, and several not so frequent clients who visited on special occasions. Those usually reserved the entire place for the whole evening, no questions asked. The prices were reasonable and the food was good so the Italian restaurant was a popular spot in the neighborhood. It also had an atmosphere of its own which created a good vibe and made people like it even more. 

And, of course, Oswald was working there. 

It wasn’t exactly the academic environment his mother was picturing for him but he heard enough talk about theories and other forms of academic discussions so it could pass as a form of enlightenment. Oswald’s job was to clean the dishes. But he was hoping to perhaps move up in the hierarchy soon. Don Maroni, as his employees called him, was the owner of the restaurant. He was a loud Italian guy with a booming laughter. He liked Oswald. The manager, however, Frankie Carbone, seemed to hate Oswald’s guts. Still, that was a minor inconvenience. Good thing Oswald never cared of what people thought of him. 

Ed visited the restaurant regularly. He usually came to have lunch with Oswald during Oswald’s lunch break. Unless he had lectures at that time, of course. Then he would also come after Oswald’s shift was over and they’d walk home together. It wasn’t like they were inseparable -- because Oswald had to spend a lot of time on his own or working, while Ed had to spend a lot of time on campus studying. But Oswald never felt lonely because he knew Ed was by his side, even when he wasn’t  _ literally  _ by his side. It was comforting in a way to know that even if he couldn’t get Ed to  _ love  _ him, he still had Ed’s unconditional friendship and his affection. A consolation prize, no doubt, but Oswald was trying to accept it. 

Ed gladly shared his college experience with Oswald. University was chaotic and insane at times but also exciting. Ed told him about things he’d learned and things he was interested in, funny stories about his professors and the other students. Oswald used some of those for himself, to tell his mother and make his own college stories more believable. It was only a temporary lie, he mentally reassured himself, he was going to be a real college student eventually so it didn’t really count as deception. That was the logic that helped him get by whenever he visited his mother and she asked how was college. 

Meanwhile, their apartment started feeling more and more like a home. Their responsibilities naturally grew. They were definitely not in high school anymore. It was tougher but Ed was doing fine. The studying wasn’t a problem for Ed. Socializing, however, well, that had never been either Oswald’s or Ed’s strongest suit. In that respect, apparently, university was still a lot like high school. 

“So today some jerk in my class thought it’d be humorous to make fun of me for being a virgin.” Ed said during lunch one day. 

“Pfft, idiot.” Oswald rolled his eyes and took another bite of his spaghetti with meatballs. 

“I know right?” Ed agreed. “As if we're still in high school.”

“Yeah as if you're in high school." Oswald chuckled. 

“So immature.” Ed sneared. 

“Yeah,  _ so  _ immature.” Oswald agreed. 

“So we had a bit of an argument.” 

Oswald’s eyes went wide. “You didn’t kill him, did you?” 

Ed snorted. “No, of course not.” 

“Good.” Oswald grinned. 

Ed went on eating. “And anyway, he’s wrong. I'm not a virgin.” 

”Yeah, anyway you're not-- wait, what do you mean you’re not?”

Ed flushed slightly and smiled a nervous little grin. “Well, prom night, Kristen and I, we... you know."

“Oh.” Oswald kept his voice even and his face very still. He cleared his throat. “You-- you never told me.”

“Well, it's private.” Ed explained. “Besides, shortly afterwards I killed her so that sort of stole the spotlight.” 

Oswald swallowed and nodded. “Yes, yes, right. I get it.”

But his throat was suddenly tight and he felt like he wanted to break something. Or better still, break something  _ into  _ someone’s face. 

“Are you alright, Oswald?” Ed tilted his head.  

Oswald forced a smile. “Yes, I’m absolutely fine.” 

“Are you sure?”

“Of course.” The smile remained plastered on his face to a degree that was bordering on creepy. “Absolutely fine.” he repeated. 

But he wasn’t absolutely fine. He wasn’t even moderately fine. For some reason the thought of Ed with Kristen was upsetting him. Deeply. He wanted to delete it from his mind, if only it were possible. He wanted it gone for it was burning him on the inside, tormenting him in ways he couldn’t understand. What was that about?

“Oswald?”

It took him a few moments to realize Ed was calling him. “Hmm?”

“Oswald, you’re scaring me.”

“I’m sorry...”

“You completely zoned out.” 

“I got distracted, that’s all.” he busied himself with collecting the dishes on their table. “I should finish up here and I’ll be back home.”

“Want me to wait with you? I have no lectures this afternoon, I could stay and--”

“No, I’ve got it.” Oswald interrupted. “You can go. Have fun.”

“Well, okay.” Ed said, not quite convinced. “I have a paper due in two days.”

“Like I said, have fun.”

Ed left. Oswald scrubbed all the dishes twice that day, taking out his unusual frustration on the unsuspecting plates and cups. Then he stared around dumbly. Well, that sucked. He was actually mad at Kristen Kringle. Kristen Kringle who was dead. Kristen Kringle whose body parts he’d helped Ed dispose of. Why would he suddenly be so angry at Kristen Kringle? It made no sense! Perhaps he just got nervous at the mention of one of Ed’s murders. Yes, that must’ve been it. He had to talk to Ed and ask him not to mention Kristen anymore. They definitely needed to stick to that policy. Oswald didn’t need reminders of what they did. Strangely enough though, Oswald discovered that it wasn’t Kristen’s death that bothered him so much, it was Kristen alive in Edward’s bed that made Oswald’s blood boil. What a peculiar way of feeling guilt! Was it guilt? It had to be. After all, what else could it be? 

And then it hit him. He was  _ jealous _ . Of course, he was jealous. Because she got to be with Ed whereas Oswald never would. He groaned. After all the effort he put daily to make himself think of Ed as a only friend, he still felt jealousy? This wasn’t good. He had to keep himself in check and under control. 

He decided not to think about it anymore. After all, it was very unwise to occupy his mind with topics of murders while in public. 

~*~  

“Hey, you! Guy that walks like a penguin!” Mr. Carbone, the manager, called. 

Oswald pursed his lips and tried to suppress his rage at the nickname. “Yes, Mr. Carbone?” 

“Your shift ends earlier tonight. Don Maroni needs the place for a private meeting.” 

Oswald frowned. “What private--?”

“Do we pay you to ask questions? I don’t think so.” Mr. Carbone cut him off. “Just be happy with your free time and scram an hour early today.” 

Oswald nodded. A part of him wondered if that private meeting was work-related. Don Maroni seemed to be a guy who knew all sorts of people. Whom would he be meeting that needed the whole place closed for an evening? 

Oswald finished with his work and left early like Carbone told him to. On his way out he saw Don Maroni and a beautiful black woman getting in the restaurant. She made a huge impression on Oswald because she walked as if she owned the world. He wondered what it was like to have that kind of confidence. He couldn’t look away from her, feeling as if time had stopped. Perhaps sensing his gaze, she glanced his way and arched an eyebrow. Oswald only gaped at her stupidly, not expecting to have attracted her attention. She smirked and a second later she was gone. 

Oswald let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. That was a strange meeting for sure. It almost felt like destiny, as if this woman would be important for him in the future. Or perhaps he was just overly exhausted and sleep deprived. 

~*~  

They were having a lovely dinner on their couch, drinking hot drinks and relaxing, when Ed suddenly decided to ruin it all. 

“I realized what made you go all weird at lunch today.” he announced proudly.

Oswald put down his fork and took his cup in his hands instead. “Oh? I wouldn’t say I was being weird but good for you.”

“You’re still a virgin, aren’t you, Oswald?” Ed blurted out with a grin. 

Oswald spilled his cocoa. “Sorry what?”

“You are. That’s it, isn’t it? And you thought I was too but then I told you I wasn’t and you were probably surprised by this new information. I made you feel uncomfortable, didn’t I? I’m sorry about that.”

Oswald was shaking his head. “It’s nothing like that at all. This is ridiculous. I was  _ not  _ uncomfortable.”

“You looked  _ very  _ uncomfortable.” Ed observed.

Oswald pursed his lips, putting his cup away. “This is stupid.”

“I agree. It is. Whether you’re a virgin or not doesn’t matter. People are too obsessed with sex.”

“Well, I’m not obsessed with it!”

“And that’s fine. I think that’s just fine.”

There was a certain level of unpleasantness hanging in the air. Why was this conversation leaving a bad taste in Oswald’s mouth? Was Ed right? Is that what bothered him so much today, that that Ed was not a virgin like him? What did it matter? 

“Look,” Ed continued, a hand resting comfortingly on Oswald’s knee, “I don’t know what your experiences you’ve had, but if you’re curious about anything at all--”

“Oh, so you’ve slept with  _ one  _ woman and now suddenly you’re an expert?” Oswald blurted out, irritated. 

Where did  _ that  _ come from?

Ed’s face was frozen in puzzlement. “Ummm.” 

Oswald sighed and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. “Sorry. I don’t know why I snapped--”

“It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. I’m being--”

“A jerk.” Ed supplied with a nod. “Yes, you are.”

“I said I’m sorry.”

Ed bit at his lip. He looked concerned. When he spoke again his voice was softer, more gentle. “This isn’t because of James Gordon, is it?”

Oswald frowned. “What about James Gordon?”

Ed blinked surprised. “Oh. You didn’t know.”

“What should I know?”

“No, nothing.”

“Ed!”

Ed hesitated for a moment. “I thought you saw Gordon on campus and that caused your freakout yesterday.”

“I  _ didn’t  _ freak out.” Oswald insisted but then the rest of the information sunk in. “Jim’s here?”

Ed nodded, looking apologetic for some reason. 

“Wow. I… You’re right, I didn’t know.” Oswald said, looking down at his hands. 

Ed tilted his head, sliding closer to Oswald on the couch. “Does it matter? Does him being in Gotham University change anything?”

Oswald shook his head but he didn’t seem like he was present. “No, it changes nothing. My feelings for Jim are long gone.” 

Ed breathed out in relief and smiled at his friend. “Well, I’m really glad to hear it.” he said cheerfully. “He didn’t deserve you anyway.” 

“Yeah… he didn’t…” Oswald muttered. “I’m gonna go take a bath. I’m very tired.” 

Ed nodded. “Okay. I’ll clean up here.” 

Oswald smiled and waddled away to his room. 

So James Gordon went to Gotham University too. Once again he was present in Oswald’s life, in one form or another. Did his proximity change anything though? Not really. Oswald meant it when he said his feelings for Jim were gone. And yet, there was this little voice in his head that kept wondering. Perhaps his old crush was the answer to Oswald getting over his feelings for Ed? Perhaps Jim could help him somehow? If Oswald slept with Jim Gordon, would that drive the thoughts of Ed out of his head? The idea sounded weird and not at all thrilling or exciting in any way. If anything it felt wrong. It definitely didn’t make him want to smile the happy wide grin Ed had on his face when he mentioned his night with Kristen. And  _ their  _ night ended with  _ murder _ , so it was probably safe to say it wasn’t the  _ best  _ first time. Yet, perhaps if he saw first hand what the fuss was all about he’d forget Ed? Oswald never cared for sex or dating. But his feelings for Ed were getting too distracting and at times even painful. So should he contact Jim again? Despite their history together? Jim did owe him a favor after all… 

He was too tired to make a decision right now. He relaxed into the tub, letting the hot water enwrap him as he tried to clear his mind. 


	18. Chapter 18

When he woke up in the morning Oswald still had no answer to his dilemma. He spent the rest of the morning wondering until finally he decided to give in to the temptation and go talk to Jim Gordon. He was curious what would happen if he saw his first crush again, after nearly a year of staying away from him. Would his old feelings return? And would those feelings be strong enough to drive Ed out of his mind? There was only one way to find out so Oswald went on campus to look for the football captain. 

His official excuse was that he was curious to see college life from up close -- since he was planning on applying again next year. However, truth was his interest in Gotham University had diminished considerably now that his mother seemed happy. He realized university education was not something he really wanted for himself. What he really wanted for himself was to be somebody no one would trifle with. He wanted to walk like that gorgeous woman he saw with Maroni the other night. He wanted to not be laughed at, not be bullied or beaten up anymore. He wanted to have people’s respect. Or fear. Whichever came first. Could college do that? He wasn’t so sure anymore. 

He strolled aimlessly around campus, hoping to get a clue where to look for Gordon, when a familiar face caught his attention. She was blonde, she had a huge smile and slightly manic eyes and she seemed quite amused at something her friend was telling her. It was Barbara Kean. Jim’s girlfriend. 

This must’ve been fate! Barbara would definitely know where he could find James. Normally, he wouldn’t want to talk to her. But today was an exception. He limped towards her, hoping she wouldn’t just dismiss him without giving him the information he needed. 

“Barbara Kean?” he asked, attracting her attention. 

Barbara’s friend gave him a condescending glance and then busied herself with her phone. 

“Barbara, hi! I don’t know if you remember me…” 

“Penguin!” she interrupted with a wide smile. 

Darn it. Why did people  _ everywhere  _ call him Penguin? He had a snarky comment ready on his lips but he needed Barbara to get to Jim so he restrained himself. 

“You’re Penguin, aren’t you? Jim’s ‘special friend’?” Barbara continued. 

‘Special friend’? What did that even mean? 

“Well, I’m Oswald Cobblepot, yes.” he replied with a nod that resembled a small bow. 

“It’s hilarious you’re here too! It’s a bunch of us at GU.” 

“Oh? I thought it was just Ed and Jim.” 

Barbara snorted. “Oh, no. There’s me and Lee and Butch and Harvey too, believe it or not.” 

“No kidding.” 

“There’s--” 

Oswald help up a hand. “You know, entertaining as that is, I’m not really that curious about the others.” 

“Oh. Well, I don’t blame you. They are  _ quite  _ boring. Tabby here is the only interesting person on campus.” Barbara said, turning to her friend and giving her a wide smile with twinkly eyes. 

“Right. Well, I’m glad you found a friend.” Oswald said, circling around the topic he was actually interested in. “I’m sure you haven’t forgotten your old friends though.” 

“We were never friends, you and me.” Barbara frowned. “I wonder why…” 

“I meant Jim.” 

“Oh, Jim? Pfft.” she rolled her eyes. “Jim and I aren’t together anymore. It was a…  _ mutual  _ decision.” she tilted her head, considering something, then nodded. “Yes, definitely a mutual decision.” 

“Sorry to hear that.” he said, not feeling particularly sorry. 

“Don’t be. He became quite boring too. Moping about you for months.” she grunted. 

Oswald frowned with confusion. “ _ Moping _ about  _ me _ …?” 

“Yeah. Have you talked to him? He may be happy to see you.”

“I didn’t even know he was here until recently.” 

Barbara laughed. “Well, you should  _ definitely  _ go say hi!” 

“Yes, I should, I suppose.” 

Barbara grabbed his arm. “Come! I’ll take you to him at once! Be right back, Tabby!” 

She blew ‘Tabby’ a kiss while ‘Tabby’ shrugged and continued with whatever she was doing on her phone. Barbara strode off, pulling Oswald with her. 

“So, where is he?” Oswald asked innocently. 

Barbara smirked. “ Where do you think he is? Where there’s testosterone, there's Jim Gordon.” 

Ah. The football field again. That was ironic. 

~*~ 

Barbara took Oswald to the field. She was surprisingly obliging for no apparent reason. Oswald wasn’t sure why but she was useful for the time being so he allowed it to her. 

“And there he is. Captain of the football team, boyscout and a real pain in the ass. At his best.” Barbara announced as they stood in the stands. 

The footballers were once again practicing. Jim in the middle of it all, giving commands and instructing everyone on what they should do. Being himself. 

Oswald observed him from afar. Much like he used to back in high school. Very little seemed changed and yet Oswald felt if he wasn’t the same person he was back then. Jim was just as gorgeous now as he was a year ago. But somehow Oswald felt immune to that charm. It didn’t wake any admiration in him like it used to before. It didn’t make him feel all giddy on the inside. He felt… nothing. 

“This was a stupid idea.” he muttered to himself and headed back. 

Jim Gordon won’t be able to make him forget Ed. His feelings for Ed were too deep to be undermined that easily. Jim was a beautiful specimen, no doubt, but apparently Oswald’s sexuality didn’t work that way. He wasn’t attracted to Jim, he was in love with Ed and that sort of made him only want Ed and no one else. Was that normal? 

He thanked Barbara for her help and left the field with slumped shoulders. There seemed to be no way for him to ever get over his feelings for Ed. He was doomed to be hopelessly in love with his best friend for the rest of his life. 

~*~ 

Ed was radiating joy and grinning excitedly that evening. 

“I finally found someone worth talking to in that university!” he announced. “His name is Lucius Fox but I call him Foxy because, come on! Who’d miss an opportunity like that?” 

“Foxy?” 

“He gets it.” Ed chuckled as if sharing an inside joke with himself. Or with the absent ‘Foxy’, Oswald thought annoyed. Ed continued. “We have a few lectures together but I never talked to him until yesterday. And I must say he surprised me! Do you know he also likes riddles?” 

“You don’t say.” Oswald deadpanned. 

“He’s funny and smart. I’m glad we’re friends now. He’s awesome.” 

“Awesome.” 

Ed frowned. “Are you alright? You look tired.” 

“I am.” Oswald said, unable to keep the irritation from his voice. 

Was this what it was always going to be like? Ed meeting new people and Oswald instantly hating them all and feeling miserable? It was all very good when Oswald was Ed’s  _ only  _ friend but now that Ed seemed to be getting more sociable Oswald felt lost and even betrayed. 

“You don’t seem very fond of Foxy…” Ed noted. 

“Well, I’m not.” Oswald snapped. 

“Why? Foxy’s great!” 

Oswald huffed. He felt like a spoiled child pouting about his favorite toy but he couldn’t help himself. “Well, I’ve never met him, have I?” 

Ed narrowed his eyes. “That’s not it.” 

Oswald gave up, throwing his hands in the air defeated. “I’m jealous, Ed. I’m not fond of Foxy because I’m jealous.” 

Ed blinked a few times, then burst into a jolly laughter. “That’s ridiculous. Foxy is a good friend but you’re my  _ best  _ friend for life. I assure you, Oswald, you’ll always be my best friend.” 

Ed pulled him in a quick hug and then went on eating. 

Oswald sighed. Yep, that was his life now. It was hopeless. 

“You know, Ed, for a genius you're really clueless.” he said, more to himself than to Ed. His back was killing him, same with his leg, so he tried to stretch a little on the couch and relieve the tension in his body. He grimaced as the pain only got sharper. 

Ed glanced at him. “You’re hurting.” He observed. “Can I do something about that? A massage maybe?”

Oswald’s eyebrows went up. “What?” 

“You seem tense. I’m good with my hands.” 

“I bet…” 

“Well?” he lifted his hands, showing them off to Oswald. “What do you say?” 

“Um. Okay, I guess.” Oswald consented. 

“Great! Where do you want me?” Ed asked pleasantly. 

Oswald cursed himself internally. “Anywhere, really.” he replied. 

Ed thought for a second. “I’d say the bed would be most appropriate.” 

Oswald felt heat rushing to his face. “Okay.” 

“Your bedroom or mine?” 

Oh, those questions! 

“I think mine would be better.” Oswald said. 

They moved to Oswald’s bedroom where Ed instructed him to lie down on his stomach and relax. Oswald lied down but he could definitely not relax. If anything, he became more tense as he felt the mattress shift under Ed’s weight when the other man joined him. 

This was ridiculous. They’ve been on Oswald’s bed countless times! Hanging out in Oswald’s room, playing chess or cards or studying, or just talking… It was different when he was lying down and expecting Ed’s hands on his back, though. 

“Do I need to do something or--?” Oswald spoke just to distract himself and calm his racing heart a little bit. 

“You just relax and let me do my thing.” Ed said and then Oswald felt his friend’s long fingers on his shoulders.  

Ed did not oversell it. He was really skilled! Tense as he was at first, Oswald felt himself melt under the massaging hands of his friend. The stress, the pains, all going away, leaving his body and giving way to something that was as close to bliss as Oswald could get at this moment. He let out a half-moan half-sigh and finally relaxed. 

“You’re really amazing.” Oswald muttered under his breath, dizzy with how magnificent the massage felt. 

Ed’s voice sounded quite pleased when he uttered a smug “Told you so.” 

“Thank you, Ed. I would be lost without you.” Oswald whispered, a tear sliding down his left cheek. “Please, don’t ever leave me alone.” 

“Why, of course, I won’t leave you, silly.” Ed chuckled, his hands still roaming over Oswald’s lower back, massaging him with expert precision. “You’re so tense, Oswald. You need to do this more often.” 

“Hmmm.” 

“You could go to an actual masseuse sometime.” 

“I don’t like being touched by strangers.” Oswald groaned sleepily. 

“I get it. Well, then I can be your personal masseuse. It’ll be fun.” 

Oswald smiled at that. Scraps. He was getting scraps. But scraps were a starving man’s feast.

~*~ 

Mr. Carbone’s calloused hand tapped him hard on the shoulder. “Some guy’s asking for you, Penguin. You have 5 minutes. Then get back to work.” 

Oswald removed his gloves and went to see who was looking for him. It couldn’t have been Ed so that really left him with no one. 

“Hi, Oswald.” 

At first Oswald thought he wasn’t seeing right. “Jim? What are you doing here?” 

“I found out you worked here so I came to say hi.” 

“Ah.” 

“I saw you leaving the football field the other day.” Jim explained nervously. “I was waiting for you to come back but you didn’t.” 

“Yes, well… I’m very busy.” Oswald replied. His voice sounded ridiculous to his own ears but not to Jim apparently. 

“Anyway, I was glad to see you there. It was like when you used to root for me in high school.” There was a small smile spreading across Jim’s face. 

Oswald wasn’t sure how to reply to that. So he went with, “It’s nice you still enjoy playing football.” 

“Yes, I do.” Jim’s smile grew wider. Encouraged, he went on, “I thought perhaps we could have coffee sometime?” 

“I’m not much of a coffee person…” Oswald said awkwardly. He wasn’t sure he understood Jim’s motives. Was it guilt again for the way he used Oswald before? How long till that guilt went away? 

Jim furrowed his brows. It was a serious look, not an upset one. “I understand.” he said. “Tea then? Juice? Illegal alcohol?” 

Oswald couldn’t help but chuckle. “The great James Gordon and underage drinking? Did I hear correctly?” 

“I’m not as straight and narrow as you think.” Jim said, licking his lips. 

Oswald almost couldn’t hide his surprise at the choice of words. They startled another laugh from him. “Well, I guess we could do that sometime then.” 

“Let me give you my number.” Jim offered and they exchanged phone numbers. 

The five minutes were up quicker than Oswald expected. He had to return back to the kitchen if he didn’t want to endure Carbone’s endless nagging. He bid Jim goodbye and wondered where this sudden friendliness was coming from. Or where it was going, for that matter. Could his insane idea work after all? Both Oswald and Jim have changed a lot over the last year. The question was would getting to know the new Jim change Oswald’s mind on intimacy? 


	19. Chapter 19

Oswald waited impatiently for his lunch break. Lunch was a pleasant time for him since he spent it with Ed, so he usually counted the hours. Ed was taking his time though so Oswald thought he’d order for them and wait at the table. He was tapping his fingers over the cutlery, stomach growling as the food was getting cold, when he heard his name.

“Oswald! Hi.”

When he looked up he met Jim Gordon’s very blue eyes.

“Jim.” he smiled.

Gordon arched an eyebrow teasingly. “Is eating one of your new duties now? Nice work you’ve got.”

Oswald shook his head with a chuckle. “It’s my lunch break, actually.”

“Yeah, I figured. I was just trying to be clever.” Jim shrugged, pulling up a chair. “Mind if I join you?”

“Um…” Oswald looked around. There was still no sign of Edward. “I was actually waiting for Ed. We usually have lunch together.”

“Ed Nygma?”

Oswald nodded. “Yes.”

Jim’s face did a weird thing, as if suddenly closing off. “Well, I’d better be going then.” he said out loud.

Oswald frowned. “No, it’s okay. You can wait with me.”

“I doubt _Ed_ would be pleased to see me.” Jim said.

Oswald snorted. “What are you talking about? Ed’s a sweetheart. Sit, silly!” At Jim’s hesitation Oswald got up and pulled up the chair again. “Come on, sit.”

Jim sat down but it was obvious he was still not so sure about this. “I don’t think Ed likes me around you.”

“He’s just being a friend. I was mad at you before so in the spirit of solidarity Ed too was mad at you.”

Jim made a face but decided not to argue. “If you say so.”

“He is rather late though.” Oswald frowned, glancing at the clock on his phone. “Must be busy with a lecture.”

“Must be.” Jim said and then quickly changed the subject. “So shall we eat? I’d like to try the lasagna.”

Oswald scrunched up his nose.

“What?” Jim grinned fondly. “You won’t recommend the lasagna?”

“We have excellent spaghetti with meatballs. I’d recommend that.”

“Okay, let’s go Lady and the Tramp on these spaghetti with meatballs.”

Oswald chuckled as they ordered for Jim and continued with their conversation. It was quite a pleasant distraction to have Jim around while waiting for Ed. They discussed Jim’s passion for football and his future plans. Apparently he wanted to change the world. Oswald thought that was sweet, even if a little naive. They talked about Oswald’s job and his ‘college life’. Oswald even told him the truth about what he told his mother about it.

“Poor Mrs. Kapelput!” Jim shook his head when Oswald explained the predicament. “I won’t tell her of course. She deserves to be happy.”

“Well, it might be better if you don’t talk to her at all.” Oswald said and leaned in to whisper conspiratorially, “She kind of hates you too.”

Jim rolled his eyes. “Do _everyone_ close to you hate me?”

“Ivy doesn’t. But she’s kind of mad at you because apparently you pissed off her friend Selena Kyle once.”

“I didn't! I was trying to help her!”

Oswald shrugged, raising his arms defensively. “I’m only saying what I heard.”

Jim feigned desperation and they both laughed. And then, as the laughter slowly died down, Oswald was sure they were having a moment. The intense gaze, the slowing of time, everything suddenly going quiet with just their hearts beating. Only, it wasn’t exactly a moment. It was Jim’s gaze getting all deeper and more emotional while Oswald felt like a socially awkward penguin. He wasn’t feeling it, even though he tried. There was supposed to be something in the air between the two of them, it seemed to be there for Jim, but Oswald himself couldn’t feel it.

He looked down at his half-empty plate. Jim cleared his throat.

“So. You and Ed are still friends?”

Well, that was a weird sudden change of topic.

“And roommates too.” Oswald clarified.

“I see.” Jim furrowed his brows. “How is that working out?”

“It’s working out fine.” Oswald said, pursing his lips.

“Does he have any irritating habits? I can imagine him being quite irritating.”

Oswald sucked in a deep breath through his teeth. “Not really.” he said rather impatiently.

The whole point of having Jim around was to get Ed out of his head. But that wasn’t going to work if Jim kept talking about him.  

“Living with someone changes things. Knowing someone so intimately and--”

Oswald slammed his hands on the table. “Can we _not_ talk about Ed, please?”

A few customers turned their heads in his direction. Jim blinked confused. Oswald had apparently lost his temper.

He closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm down. “I apologize. You were saying?”

Jim shook his head. “No, nothing. I’m the one who’s sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t. I’m not upset. I just…” he huffed, unable to find the right words.

“Ed stood you up for your lunch date and you’re pissed?” Jim supplied.

“It’s not a date.” Oswald insisted.

“Then…,” Jim leaned in on the table, narrowing the distance between them, “is _this_ a date?”

Oswald felt his cheeks heating up. He swallowed nervously and looked down at his plate. Jim’s eyes were too intense on him, too hot. They were burning and Oswald was genuinely confused. He didn’t know what to do, he was not sure what he felt exactly and that prevented him from acting, nearly freezing him with uncertainty.

Oswald was no expert but even he could tell that Jim was definitely flirting with him. Yet being asked if their lunch was a date stunned Oswald. He had Jim right where he wanted him but that wasn’t doing anything for him. He had so dearly hoped it would! He wanted this to go further, wanted Jim to magically make things better for him emotionally, to lift the pain away from Oswald’s heart. He craved to feel something for Jim, to fall deeply and forget Ed. Pining after his best friend led to nothing good, only pain. If only Jim could stir something inside Oswald. If only his emotions would submit to his control. Alas, that was not how life worked.

“Oswald?” Jim’s voice pulled him back to reality.

Oswald snapped out of it. “I don’t know.” he muttered with an awkward shrug. And it was true. He really didn’t know.

Jim reached out and held Oswald’s hand on the table. “Hey, it’s alright. I understand. I lost your trust once. Now you need time.”

Oswald nodded, biting at his lips nervously. Why was he so tense? Oh, if only this was Ed instead of Jim. If only Ed would hold his hand like that during their lunches together.

“I’m sorry.” he managed again and Jim finally let go.

“It’s fine. In the meanwhile, I think the meatballs are quite--” Jim frowned as his eyes looked at something beyond Oswald. “Was that Nygma at the window?”

Oswald turned around to check but there was no one outside.

“Um. I should go make sure.” he said and quickly limped towards the exit.

There was no sign of Ed at the front door but when Oswald turned left he saw a familiar figure walking away from the restaurant.

“Ed!” Oswald called after him.

It truly was his friend, heading home. He turned around when he heard his name and Oswald quickly caught up with him.

“Ed, where are you going? I was waiting for you inside.”

“Yes, I saw.” Ed said, lips a tight line, voice charged with strange energy.

“You were late, I was really hungry.” Oswald said.

“Mhm.” Ed nodded curtly.

“Ed, are you okay? Did something happen? Is that why you were late? Something happened?” Oswald asked tentatively.

“Jim Gordon’s with you.” Ed said, pointing at the direction of the restaurant. “So that explains why Barbara Kean was suddenly so curious about you the other day. She asked me where she could find you and I told her where you worked.”

“Ah.”

Jim had asked Barbara to find out Oswald’s workplace for him? Barbara whom Jim supposedly did his best to avoid during these last months? He must've really wanted to see Oswald!  

“He joined me for lunch.” Oswald replied awkwardly. “Are you coming?”

“I don’t want to interrupt anything.” Ed said, annoyed.

“You’re not interrupting anything, Ed. We’re only eating.”

“ _And_ holding hands. Eating and holding hands. That’s what people do now apparently. They eat and hold hands at the same time. Even though it must be very uncomfortable, limiting the movements, not to mention unhygienic. Hand holding makes your hands sweaty after a while.” Ed was talking really fast and kind of weird. Oswald hadn’t seen him exactly like this before. Was he angry about something?

“Are you angry about something?” he asked, not wasting any time on beating around the bush.

“Why would I be angry? No, I’m not angry.” Ed insisted. “What does he want with you, anyway?”

“Jim? He just came to catch up.”

Ed let out a bitter chuckle. “To catch up? Really?” he put his hands on his slim waist. “Is this going to be a thing now? Is he going to do that often? Popping by for lunch?”

Oswald shrugged, not quite following. “Perhaps? I don’t know? We exchanged numbers. But don’t worry, Ed. I can handle Jim Gordon.”

“Right.” Ed pursed his lips. “Sure you can.”

“Are you alright, Ed?” Oswald asked concerned.  

“Right as rain.” Ed replied quickly. Then he looked around with a mixture of awkwardness and rage. He resembled an irritated puppy. “I’ll be going back to my studies then. Foxy and I have a project to complete. I was going to tell you all about it at lunch but--”

“-- but you didn’t show up?” Oswald supplied.

Ed pressed his lips even tighter together. “I admit I was a bit late--”

“Almost 40 minutes, Ed. My lunch break is nearly over.”

“Anyway. I’ll tell you about my project later.”

“Tonight’s movie night. We’re still on for that, right?” Oswald inquired. He was looking forward for their movie nights.

Ed gave it some thought but eventually nodded. “Yes. We’re still on for that.”

Oswald smiled relieved. “Okay, then. I guess I’ll see you--” Ed turned around and walked away. “-- tonight...” Oswald finished and sighed.

He stood there for a moment, watching Ed walk away from him.

When Oswald returned to the restaurant Jim was still waiting at their table. He immediately noticed the slumped shoulders and the frown.  

“Everything alright?” Jim asked, sensing the change in Oswald’s mood.

“Fine.” Oswald mumbled. “Turns out Ed does have one irritating habit.”

“Oh? What is that?”

Oswald didn’t reply. But the remainder of their lunch was definitely not as carefree as it started.

~*~

The movie night didn’t go as smoothly as usual either. Ed was being weird all the time, grumpy and in a bad mood. Nothing Oswald said or did seemed to be able to change that.

“Don’t you want popcorn?” Oswald offered, hoping to get Ed to talk or at least act slightly more like himself.

Ed only glanced at the snack and shook his head. Oswald sighed and kept eating silently as the movie started.

20 minutes into it Ed grunted. “What I don’t understand is why now after all this time does Jim Gordon suddenly want to talk to you?”

Oswald shrugged. “I don’t know. Does it matter?”

“I think it does.” Ed insisted.

“It’s not a big deal, Ed.”

“Not a big deal!?” Ed gasped.

Oswald had to pause the movie. “Ed, why are you so bothered about this?”

“I’m annoyed that he’s _obviously_ using you again and you’re _letting_ him.”

“That’s not what this is at all.” Oswald sighed with a headshake. “He’s not using me. We were talking about food and movies, for crying out loud.”

“He has no one else to talk to about food and movies?”

Oswald groaned and unpaused the movie, putting an end to this ridiculous discussion.

But evidently Ed couldn’t let it go. A few minutes later he brought up the subject again.

“And why did he come looking for you at your workplace? That’s so rude!”

Oswald groaned and paused the movie again. “He came to have lunch, Ed! I work at a restaurant. I was showing him around.”

“So long as that’s _all_ you were showing him.” Ed mumbled under his breath. He looked kind of irritated.

Oswald gaped. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I noticed you were texting him a while ago.”

“So?”

“What did he want?”

“He was just telling me he was having spaghetti for dinner.”

Ed frowned. “Why would he give you this information? You don’t care what he eats.”

“We talked about spaghetti today and he joked about them being straight until they’re hot and wet.” When Ed did not respond Oswald added, “It’s a joke.”

Ed scrunched up his face. “I don’t get it.”

Oswald rolled his eyes with exasperation. “I'm not surprised.”

Ed frowned even more. “Is that supposed to be some sort of sexual innuendo?”

Oswald blinked at him.

“What?” Ed asked.

“You’re being very weird.” Oswald concluded.

He unpaused the movie once again but Ed didn’t seem capable of sitting still tonight. He kept fidgeting and rearranging his long limbs on the couch until finally Oswald lost all patience and paused the movie for what felt like the hundredth time.

“What’s wrong, Ed?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” Ed insisted quickly but his face made him look like he was trying hard not to malfunction.

“Why are you so annoyed about Jim? We’re only hanging out. He’s being nice to me now and there’s no ulterior motive. We’ve both changed a lot since high school.” Oswald reasoned. “Besides, you and Lucious hang out a lot too but I never made a problem out of it.”

“That’s different.”

“How is it different?”

“It’s different because I don’t have a crush on Foxy!” Ed blurted out.

Oswald was silent for a moment. “Ed. I assure you, I don’t have a crush on Jim Gordon. Not anymore.”

Ed snorted. “Yeah, right.”

“It’s true!”

Why was he even explaining this to Ed? There was no point. He was only hurting himself.

“I’m not an idiot, Oswald. I saw the way you two were gazing at one another during lunch today.”

Oswald groaned, hiding his face in his hands.

“Jim Gordon will never like you back, Oswald. He’s never going to care about you. He’s never going to return your feelings.”

Oswald dropped his hands down on the couch with a loud thump. “I don’t have feelings for Jim Gordon!” he exclaimed.

“After _everything_ I went through, you _still_ run back to him like a scorned puppy! You’re hopping around him like some slut!” Ed yelled back, furious. 

Oswald’s eyes went wide. “What did you say?”

Ed suddenly caught up on his own words and a look of regret appeared on his face. “I d-didn’t mean--” he stuttered, realizing what he had said.

Oswald sprang up from the couch. “Well, perhaps I shouldn’t stay here and upset you with my sluttines then!” he hissed and turned around, walking to his room and slamming the door loudly.

“Oswald! I didn’t mean that!” Ed called after him but Oswald ignored it.


	20. Chapter 20

Oswald was furious. How dare Ed talk to him like that!? After everything Oswald was going through every single day and night, to have Ed think him a ‘slut’ of all things! True, Ed had no idea of the more intimate torments of Oswald’s heart but he still knew enough to be aware his words were hurtful! He shouldn’t have talked to him like that! It was too much. Oswald wanted to break something. Instead the only thing constantly breaking around here was his heart. 

It was time he put an end to this. It was stupid and insane to allow himself to suffer like that. His reason dictated that he had to have a frank discussion with Ed about his feelings and where they stood. But his heart was telling him he won’t be able to do that just yet. Hell, he didn’t even want to see Ed’s face right now! Just knowing Ed was in the other room enraged him immensely so he quickly got dressed and stormed out. 

“Oswald? Oswald, wait, please! Oswald, I’m sorry!” Ed tried to stop him but to no avail. Oswald walked right past him. “Oswald, where are you going?” 

Oswald descended the stairs as fast as he could, ignoring the pain in his leg. It was a cold and rainy night -- not the perfect weather for his injury -- but all Oswald could think about was that he had to do  _ something  _ to end the pain inside him. He had to stop being so broken hearted because of his feelings for Ed. He had to get over it somehow. Drive Ed out of his mind once and for all, whatever it took. 

His feet took him in the chosen direction almost mechanically. He was on campus in less than an hour, inhaling deeply to calm himself down and knocking on the door in front of him. 

“Oswald!” 

“Hello, Jim. Old friend.” Oswald greeted. “I’m here to collect a favor.” 

~*~ 

Ed was pacing the flat nervously. He ran his fingers through his disheveled hair, cursing himself for his stupidity and dialing Oswald's number every few seconds. Unfortunately Oswald had turned his phone off so Ed had no way of contacting him and no idea where his friend went. He didn’t even know if Oswald was okay! 

Ed had crossed a line with his irritability that day and he didn’t even know how it happened. He was suddenly too angry at something he couldn’t even fully understand. He’d been unfair to Oswald, he had no right to talk to him the way he did. It was that damned James Gordon’s fault! What was he thinking hanging around Oswald again? They had a deal! Jim was supposed to leave Oswald alone. Just when Ed thought Oswald had truly forgotten Jim, moved on from him, Jim showed up in their lives again, ruining everything. The bastard! 

But it was still Ed’s fault. No matter what, Ed had no right to take it out on Oswald the way he did. Oswald had every reason to be so furious. Darn it, Ed hoped his friend would accept his apology. Luckily, his stuff were still in his room so at least Ed knew his roommate was coming back. Eventually… That was his last comfort at the moment. Ed cursed himself again. 

“Damn it!” he swore angrily. “Why did you do that, you  _ idiot _ !? Why, why,  _ why _ ?” A noise behind him caused him to jerk around and stare in horror. “No way...!” he gasped. 

“Well, I’d say the answer is in your question. You did it because you are an idiot.” Kristen Kringle -- with her red hair, her glasses, her makeup, her ponytail, the same Kristen Kringle Ed knew, loved and  _ strangled  _ \-- laughed amused at his frightened face. “Did I scare you, Edward? I should’ve warned you before popping by. I guess I should say I’m sorry but I’m just not.” She pouted her lips. 

“You’re dead! H-how can you be here, you’re dead!” Ed breathed out, eyes wide and terrified as he stumbled as far away from this strange vision of Kristen as possible. 

“I  _ am  _ dead!” she exclaimed. “And whose fault is that?” Kristen shook her head with a tsk. “You killed me, you naughty boy.”

“N-no. You can’t be here! You can’t be real!  _ Ghosts  _ aren’t real!” Ed insisted, straightening his back, doing his best to summon every ounce of rationality he had in his brain. 

“Agreed.” Kristen nodded with a wide smile just as a second Kristen revealed herself from behind the first Kristen. Ed realized this was in fact Isabella. 

“Hi!” Isabella waved at him. “Remember me? The sister you  _ also  _ killed? Tell me, Ed, is there a special prize for whoever kills the most Kringles? Was that what you were after? Some kind of _ Kill all the Kringles _ award?” 

“Isa--Isa--Isabella! You’re-- You’re--!” 

“Blonde?” she supplied. “Yeah, I’m blonde. I guess you never saw me that way, huh.” 

Ed was going to say  _ dead  _ but now that she’d mentioned it her hair really was blonde. She must’ve dyed it before to look more like her twin. Ed hadn’t quite realized her dedication in looking exactly like Kristen when she arrived in Gotham. Other than the hair, Isabella was the same as he remembered her from the day she died. She was even wearing the same dress she did that day. It was rather unnerving. 

“What are you?” Ed blurted out, swallowing hard. His heartbeat was elevated, his breathing uneven. He was scared. He was scared of the tricks his mind was playing to him. “What are you?” he repeated again, demanding an answer. 

Kristen and Isabella glanced at one another and grinned. “We’re twins!” 

“I know you’re twins! But how are you--  _ here _ ?” 

“Well, actually, we’re not here. We… are…” Kristen took a step closer to Ed. He flinched, trying to get away from her but he was already cornered. There was no place for him to go. He shut his eyes tightly and felt her cold finger press to his forehead. “... here. We’re inside your head! Ta-daaa!” 

He opened one eye to see Kristen smile widely at him. Or was it Isabella? He was already too confused to even tell. 

“Am I going crazy?” Ed’s voice was shaking, just like his entire body. 

“Oh, darling, you were  _ never normal _ .” Kristen said with a pout. “You knew that, right?” 

“You’ve already killed three people, Ed. You never suspected there was something wrong with you?” Isabella tilted her head with concern. 

“Stop that! Stop it, I tell you!” Ed gasped. “Please, just go away! Leave me alone! Leave me alone…” he sobbed.  

Isabella and Kristen crossed their arms on their chests and pursed their lips.

“Now, what kind of manners are  _ those _ ?” Kristen shook her head with regret. “Not only did he kill us both but now he refuses to speak with us. What do you think, sis?” 

“It is quite outrageous. And rude.” Isabella agreed. 

“The least you could’ve done is be nice to us.” Kristen nodded. 

“No, no, no! Both of you OUT!” Ed screamed, shutting his eyes and squeezing his head tightly with his trembling hands. “I can’t deal with you now!” 

“Wow.” Kristen chuckled. “You can’t deal with us so you  _ strangle  _ us? Tell me, you kill all the people you can’t deal with?” 

Isabella gave it some thought. “He did it with Daugherty…” 

“Hmm, good point.” 

“Please… go away…” Ed begged, sobbing. He felt helpless, so very helpless. 

“Don’t be so gloomy. It could’ve been worse. You could’ve been hallucinating Dougherty.” Isabella said. 

Ed sobbed some more at that.  

“No, you don’t!” Kristen suddenly yelled. “You’re not the victim here! I’m dead because of you!”

“And so am I!” Isabella added with the same viciousness. 

“And so is one really hunky football player I  _ really  _ liked!” Kristen finished. “You took my life from me! Now I’m dead and wearing  _ this  _ ! All thanks to  _ Edward Nygma  _ ! So  _ you  _ don’t get to complain!” 

Ed looked up at her, meeting her eyes. He had to face her. It was the only way to accept this and move on from it. “Kristen.” he said, earnestly. “I’m so sorry I killed you. I promise it was an accident! You know it was!” 

“Well, that makes it so much better.” She rolled her eyes. 

“You wouldn’t listen to me!” He continued. 

Kristen pouted. “Aww, I wasn’t listening to you? How mean of me! Of course you had to  _ kill me _ for it.  _ Of course  _ ! Logic.” 

Ed frowned. “That’s not what I meant… I just wanted you to hear me out, give me a chance.” 

“I  _ did  _ give you a chance. And you turned out to be a murderous creep!” Kristen growled in his face. 

“I just wanted you to listen to me!” 

“Well, I ain’t a better listener dead.” she muttered. 

Ed faced Isabella. “I’m sorry for what happened to you too. I know why you did what you did. You were hurt. You loved your sister and I took her from you. I only killed you to protect myself and Oswald. If I could take any of this back, Isabella, I would. I swear I would!” 

“Pfft. Be honest with yourself, Ed.” Isabella said, shaking her head. “And don’t lie to your hallucinations. We know what’s in your mind. We came from it, remember? You hate that we’re dead but you don’t  _ regret  _ it. No, you feel much better knowing that  _ you  _ did it and _ you got away with it _ . It’s thrilling for you. It makes you feel clever and more self-confident.” she sighed. “You’re a killer, Ed. No matter what you say, no matter what you do, you’re a killer. Oswald knows it, we know it. It’s about time you accept it too.” 

“You’re a killer.” Kristen said too. “I was right when I called you a freak. A psycho. You’re just further proving my point.” 

“Stop that.” Ed warned. 

“You don’t even know who you are! You don’t know yourself!” Kristen continued. 

“Shut up!” 

“You can’t strangle me twice, Ed. The curse of the killer -- he has to live with his demons.” 

“You’re not my demons!” Ed groaned, glaring at them.  

“Oh, we’re not. But  _ he  _ is.” Isabella grinned, pointing at something behind Ed. 

A shiver of terror coursed throughout Ed’s body, not sure what awaited for him there. He swallowed despite the dryness in his mouth. Slowly he turned around to look at whatever Isabella was pointing. It was rather anticlimactic when all he saw behind himself was a mirror. 

“The mirror?” He frowned. “How is a mirror my demon?” 

But before he could start laughing at their silly supposition someone else appeared in the mirror. Someone Ed didn’t expect to ever see. 

Ed screamed. Isabella and Kristen started waltzing around him, smiling at the man in the mirror. 

“He’s not a fiddler, he’s the Riddler. He’s not a fiddler, he’s the Riddler.” they sing-songed. 

“ _The_ _Riddler?_ ” Ed muttered confused. “No, Isabella was the Riddler.” 

“Corrrrrrrection!!!” The man in the mirror waved his hands about with a wide grin on his face and a show host enthusiasm. “Isabella  _ was  _ the Riddler. It’s more like a title than a person. You sort of have to  _ earn  _ it. And  _ I have _ .” 

Ed gaped at him. Slowly he stepped towards the mirror to investigate who that was. The mad laughter sounded familiar and yet so foreign. The man himself felt both like a long-known friend and a stranger at the same time. He looked like Ed, yet he wasn’t Ed. The title The Riddler suited him well, for he was a riddle himself. A riddle Ed couldn’t quite figure out yet. 

“ _ He’s not a fiddler, he’s the Riddler. He’s not a fiddler, he’s the Riddler. _ ” The Kringle twins continued with their nursery rhyme while in the mirror, prancing around in a sparkly green suit and a bowler hat, there was Ed’s demon --  _ The Riddler _ . 

“Hi!” The reflection bared his teeth at him in a terrifying grin. Ed realized he was standing almost glued to the mirror, staring the other one in the eyes. “Good to finally meet face to face, Edward. Allow me to introduce myself. I’m you but cooler. And gayer.” 

Another fit of manic laughter. The lights flickering in the room, making Ed dizzy. Ed gasped, blinking tears away as he tried to make sense of things. In the background behind him Isabella and Kristen were still waltzing. The Riddler, the  _ new  _ Riddler, kept laughing cheerfully, his voice making Ed’s head hurt. 

What was happening to him? 

“Oswald… help…” Was all Ed could say before everything went black. 

~*~ 

“A favor. Wow. I thought friends don’t owe friends.” Jim smirked, repeating Oswald's own words and letting him in his dorm room. 

“You alone here?” Oswald asked, glancing around, assessing the place and ignoring Jim’s remark. 

“Yeah. My roommate is Harvey so you can imagine he rarely spends the nights here.” Jim chuckled. 

Oswald could tell Gordon was surprised to see him here. Not unpleasantly so but enough to make him more tense than usual. 

“Relax, Jim. I’m only here for a few hours and then I’ll be off.” Oswald shrugged. 

“Okay.” Jim frowned, suspicious. “You can stay as long as you like, Oswald, but are you sure you’re alright? You look--” 

Oswald arched an eyebrow, challenging him. “Careful what you say there, Jim.” 

“Handsome?” Jim offered with a wink. 

Oswald smirked. “Clever answer.” 

He took another step and finally settled down on one of the beds. 

“Are you sure everything really is--?” Jim began but Oswald interrupted him. 

“The favor I was going to ask you is this.” he sucked in a deep breath. He couldn’t chicken out now, he simply couldn’t! “I want you to-- to um… to-- you know…” 

Jim furrowed his brows. “I don’t. What do you want, Oswald?” 

Oswald huffed irritated. “I want you to help me out with a certain something.” 

Jim took a careful look at him. Oswald was flushed and very nervous. Jim had his suspicions where this was going. He took a step closer, sitting down on the edge of the bed next to Oswald. 

“Okay.” he said, voice hoarse, his hand resting on Oswald’s knee. “Anything for you, Oswald.” 

 

_ “I hope you know, Oswald, I would do anything for you.”  _ Ed’s voice sounded in Oswald’s head. 

 

He flinched away from Jim. “No… don’t say that. Please.” he uttered, voice suddenly sounding very small and vulnerable to his own ears. 

Jim nodded, retrieving his hand. “Alright, of course. I’m sorry.” he looked closely at him again, as if trying to read him. “Oswald, did something happen?” 

Something obviously had happened. Oswald had never been quite like that before!

Oswald nodded. “Yes… something did happen.” he finally admitted. “Jim. I’m in love.” 

Jim’s eyes went wide. “Oh…”  

Once the words were out he couldn’t stop talking. He had to let it  _ all  _ out. “I’ve been in love for some time now and I don’t know what to do. I’ve never cared for that sort of thing before, never thought it was meant for me, but now I feel it and it’s so strong and overwhelming and I don’t know what to do.” he sighed sadly. “I tried telling him how I feel but-- that didn’t work out… I just can’t seem to do it right...” 

Jim was becoming paler and paler by the second. “Oswald… I’m gonna stop you right there. Please, say no more.” 

Oswald frowned. “But I need to share…” 

“No. Oswald, listen to me.” he bit his lip. “Shit! Nygma was right…” 

Oswald furrowed his brows. “Ed was right? About what?” 

Jim looked at Oswald nervously. “Well… remember that night at the party?”

“Yes? Go on, please.” Oswald announcieted each word, impatiently. 

“Nygma set it up. He asked me to attempt to seduce you and then sort of break your heart. He said that way it’d be easier for you to get over me. He said I wasn’t good for you and he’s right. I’m not. I  _ really  _ like you, Oswald, but I cannot commit the way you deserve. I’m just not ready for that sort of thing. I have other plans for my future. And Nygma saw that and he took action. It was a rough thing to do to you but it was supposed to be for your own good. To help you--” 

“Wait.” Oswald held up his hand to stop Jim. “Ed  _ made  _ you act like that at the party?” 

Jim nodded. “Yes.” 

“Because he didn’t want us together?” 

Jim nodded again. “Yes. And I’m really sorry about that. I thought I was helping you. Besides, he had information on me that I didn’t really want him to use…” 

“Ed did  _ all of that _ just to break us apart?” Oswald’s eyes were wide and confused. 

“I guess…” Jim said confused. “I told you I don’t think he likes me very much.” 

Oswald gasped, slapping his hand to his mouth as if to keep himself from bursting into an uncontrollable laughter. 

Jim gave him a concerned look. “Are you alright, Oswald?” 

“That  _ idiot  _ !” Oswald beamed into a grin, tears in his eyes. “He was jealous! All this time, he was  _ jealous _ ! And I thought--  _ Stupid  _ ! We’re  _ both  _ idiots!” 

Oswald’s laughter was bordering on hysterical. It was making Jim feel very uncomfortable.  

“So I take it you’re not here to confess you still have feelings for me?” Jim asked slowly as if trying to make sense of things. 

Oswald laughed even more. “I need to go talk to Ed at once! I have to tell him!” 

Jim frowned. “Tell him  _ what  _ ?” 

“That I love him!” Oswald’s eyes were sparkling. “I need to tell him that I love him! And this time, I’m gonna repeat it until it gets into his thick head and he understands the true meaning of my words!” 

“Um… so you’re totally over me?” Jim muttered, still quite confused. 

Oswald kissed Gordon’s forehead and beamed at him. Then rushed out of the dorm room, leaving Jim in an even greater state of puzzlement. 


	21. Chapter 21

Oswald rushed through the rain like a mad man, back to their apartment, back to Ed. All this physical activity was doing terrible things to his leg but at least he would fix things with his best friend once and for all. The pain was worth it. 

“Ed! Ed, I’m back! Ed, we need to talk!” Oswald called from the door the moment he was in the apartment. 

There came no reply. 

“Ed?” Oswald called again, more cautiously this time. What was going on? Had Ed left? “Ed, come out please?”  _ Interesting choice of words _ , Oswald realized, chuckling to himself. “I really need to talk to you. It’s-- it’s  _ very  _ important.” 

His heart was like a drum in his chest, filled with hope that his affections might be reciprocated. He felt so elevated and excited, dizzy with the joy of finally making the decision to properly tell Ed how he felt. There  _ was  _ hope if Ed was really jealous, right? Surely if Ed was jealous  _ he felt something  _ for Oswald. 

“Ed! Ed, please, just…” he fished his phone out of his pocket, turning it back on. There were 28 missed calls from Ed and 15 voicemails. Well, wow. Oswald dialed the number. He had to find out where Ed was. 

Ed’s ridiculous ringtone sounded from Ed’s room. Oswald frowned and stepped closer towards the door, knocking three times. “Ed?” 

Still no reply. Oswald hung up and opened the door to find… nothing. No one was there. The room was empty and Ed’s phone was discarded on Ed’s bed, completely forgotten. What was going on here? 

“Ed, this isn’t funny. If you’re here somewhere, please, come out. We really need to talk.” Oswald said, the uneasy feeling in his stomach getting more prominent by the second. 

For one brief moment everything seemed so hopeful for Oswald; now everything was dark again. Ed wasn’t here. Oswald was alone. 

That was when Oswald turned around and gasped. From the doorway of Ed’s room he saw a pair of legs prodding from behind the couch.  

“Damn it. Did he kill someone again?” Was Oswald’s first thought but when he rushed to take a better look at the guy on the floor he yelped. “Ed! Oh, God, Ed!” He fell down to his knees to check Ed’s pulse and see if he was still breathing. “Ed, please…” he kept repeating even though he knew pleading was hardly going to do any good if Ed was unwell. 

Luckily Ed’s vitals seemed fine, he had probably just passed out. But why, Oswald couldn’t tell. What caused this and what had happened while Oswald was gone, those questions had to wait. For now the most important thing was to wake Ed up.  

Oswald quickly brought some smelling salts to Ed’s nose to force him to regain consciousness. It worked. 

Ed stirred and grimaced, clenching his fists and turning up his nose. “What-- what’s this…?” he muttered, voice hoarse. 

“Ed! You were on the floor. What happened? You don’t seem hurt…” 

“Oswald! Oswald, you’re back!” Ed gasped and quickly wrapped Oswald in a tight embrace. 

Oswald was taken by surprise -- he hadn’t expected such a warm welcome -- but after the initial shock he hugged Ed back, pulling him closer to himself and enjoying the feeling of being in the arms of the one he loved. 

“Oswald! You’ve no idea how frightened I was!” Ed whispered, burying his face in Oswald’s neck. 

Oswald’s breath hitched. His hand went up to Ed’s hair, softly stroking his friend’s head. “Everything’s fine. We’re together now.” he reassured, hoping that was what Ed needed to hear. “You need to keep lying down though. You need rest.” 

“They were here, they attacked me…” Ed muttered, ignoring Oswald’s advice.  

Oswald pulled away instantly, eyes wide. “Who? Who attacked you, Ed?” 

Ed shook his head, biting at his lip. “No… not like that. It wasn’t like-- it wasn’t an attack, it was--” he sighed. “It’s complicated.” 

“Who was it, Ed?” Oswald demanded. “Are we being blackmailed again? Did someone find out about--?” 

“No! No, it wasn’t anything like that. It was just in my head.” 

Oswald wasn’t sure he was following. “In your head…?”  

Ed waved it off. “As I said, not important. You left and I was scared I lost you, that’s all. My mind must’ve acted out because of it.” 

“Oh.” 

“I don’t want to lose you, Oswald.” Ed said earnestly, eyes meeting Oswald’s. 

Their eyes met and Oswald could see Ed truly meant his words.  _ Ed cared  _ ! Oswald had to be brave and have the conversation with him! Confess him his love! Although was  _ now  _ the right time for that? Ed seemed not quite himself… Perhaps Oswald had to wait till Ed was more responsive and coherent? Yes, that was definitely the right thing to do in this situation. 

“Let’s get you to bed. You need rest.” Oswald said, helping Ed up, throwing the taller man’s arm around his neck to support his weight. 

“Where were you?” Ed asked with a little pout as they stumbled towards Ed’s room. 

Oswald considered his answer. If he told Ed he was with Jim Gordon, would Ed instantly go into jealousy mode again? A part of Oswald wanted it, felt flattered and thrilled by it, but the other more rational part of him insisted that they didn't need any extra drama. Their drama was enough as it was. He could tell Ed the details later after they’ve made things clear. 

“I just needed the fresh air.” Oswald said instead. 

“You’re wet.” Ed noticed. 

“It’s raining.” Oswald smiled. “I’ll take a nice bath while you take a nice nap. Then we can have a nice chat. Okay?” 

Ed smiled back at him. “That sounds nice.” 

They chuckled. 

As they waddled back to Ed’s room, Oswald noticed that his friend cast several worried glances towards the mirror in their living room. The expression on his face seemed quite disturbed. Why would a mirror cause such a strange fear? Still, if it was bothering Ed, perhaps Oswald should take it down for a while? 

All discussions had to wait. Instead Oswald put Ed to bed and after making sure everything was alright, he went to take the warm bath he was craving, relaxing, letting himself sink in the hot water as his worries slowly made room for a pleasant feeling of hopefulness. 

~*~ 

When Ed opened his eyes again he was in his bed, tucked in warmly like a child. He had never been tucked in like that when he was a kid, but, of course, Oswald had. Oswald knew how to give that sort of affection and care, he had it in him to be a wonderful father one day. Ed felt warmth spreading inside him, warming his heart and bringing a soft smile to his face. It was good to know Oswald was home. Oswald didn’t leave after all. Just the thought of it was enough to ease Ed’s mind. 

However, a tiny feeling of dread crept into his chest. He swallowed as he scanned his bedroom for… presence. Undesirable presence. Kristen or Isabelle or… or  _ him _ . Ed would give anything to never see  _ him  _ again.  _ He  _ was terrifying. 

Luckily, there was no one around. The room seemed normal and hopefully so was Ed. Perhaps what happened last night was a one time thing. Perhaps it was caused by bad indigestion. Just a silly hallucination or maybe it wasn’t a hallucination at all? Maybe it was a dream! A  _ nightmare  _ ! Whatever the experience was, it was over now and Ed was ready to move on from it gladly. 

“You’re up!” Oswald smiled warmly at him when Ed showed up in their shared living room. Oswald was on the couch but when he saw Ed awake he sat up. 

“Yeah, I-- thanks for helping me to bed.” Ed said, rubbing at the back of his head awkwardly. He glanced at the clock on the wall. It was nearly noon. Ed had slept a lot but that was to be expected, considering he spent the night unconscious or haunted by villainous hallucinations. 

Oswald’s voice pulled Ed out of his thoughts. 

“Come. Sit.” Oswald tapped the place on the couch next to him. 

Ed complied, sitting down next to Oswald. 

“You removed the mirror.” Ed noticed. The gaping rectangle where the mirror used to be was glaringly obvious. 

“Um, yes.” Oswald nodded, biting at his lips. “I thought you’d like that? I couldn’t help feeling it was bothering you last night.” 

A shadow past through Ed’s face.  _ “I feel your every thought. I feel your every move. I'm with you from birth and I'll see you rot. What am I? Your reflection, Ed!”  _ The Riddler’s voice sounded in his head, followed by that loud creepy laughter. 

Ed shut his eyes tightly.

“Ed?” Oswald sounded concerned. 

Ed rubbed at his eyes. “Yes. You did well, Oswald. Thank you. I really appreciate it.” 

Oswald tilted his head tentatively. “What happened last night, Ed?” 

Ed cleared his throat. “Right. About last night. I wanted to tell you how sorry I am about what I said…” 

He had practiced his apology to Oswald and he wanted to declare it now but Oswald stopped him. 

“It’s alright. I got upset last night but I understand better now.” he said kindly. 

Ed was puzzled. He didn’t know why Oswald forgave him so quickly, without even hearing out everything Ed had to say. It was very unlike Oswald and it made Ed feel awkward and unsure of what to do next. There was this heavy feeling of shame inside him. It was weighing on him in the most unpleasant way. He had so many things to tell Oswald and yet here he was, speechless. 

The silence dragged for longer than Ed anticipated until Oswald finally spoke again. 

“ _ I can't be bought, but I can be stolen with a glance. _ ” he said softly. “ _ I'm worthless to one, but priceless to two. What am I? _ ” 

Ed blinked surprised. “Did you just ask me a riddle?” 

Oswald chuckled, biting back his grin. “You should see your face. Like a child at Christmas.” 

“Sorry.” Ed flushed. 

“It’s sweet.” Oswald muttered, looking down at his hands. 

“I’m glad you’re taking interest in--” 

Oswald let out a nervous little laugh. “Just answer the riddle, Ed.”  

“Love. The answer is love.” Ed replied. For some reason his heart skipped a beat as he said the word. 

He glanced sheepishly at Oswald to find his best friend smiling fondly at him, a strange expression on his face, something very soft, loving, sweet and vulnerable that Ed wasn’t sure he could handle.  

He cleared his throat. “That’s a neat riddle. I’m pretty sure you’ve heard it from me.” 

Oswald grinned. “I think I did, yes. But it’s the meaning I’m interested in.” he said, swallowing. 

Was Oswald nervous? Why? Why were they both suddenly so nervous? They were never nervous with each other! Oswald was one of the very few people Ed felt truly comfortable around. 

“Its meaning?” Ed repeated, not sure what else to say. 

“Ed. There’s something I need to tell you.” Oswald said, earnestly. “Something very important.” 

Even as he said it, Oswald remained silent, gapong at Ed and breathing rather fast, as if trying to make himself speak and yet unable to.  

“What is it, Oswald?” Ed asked, cluelessly, hoping to encourage his friend.  

“I-- well, it’s that I’m--” Oswald exhaled, shutting his eyes closed for a moment before looking back up at Ed. “A man comes to a crossroads in his life and he has to make a choice. Does he choose safety and cowardice? Or does he opt for courage and risk everything? I choose courage.”  

“You seem to be in a mood for puzzles and riddles today.” Ed smirked a little. 

“What I’m trying to say is, the thing I’ve been wanting to tell you for some time now… Ed, I love you. And before you say you love me too, I need to explain that I don’t mean just as a friend. I _ love  _ you.” 

Ed was silent, blinking. 

“As in I’m _ in love _ with you.” Oswald clarified. 

Ed was still silent. For a moment Oswald was worried he had broken him. 

“Ed? Say something, please?” he pleaded. The silence was beginning to frighten him. Perhaps he misread the situation. Perhaps Ed had a different reason to want Jim Gordon far from Oswald. Perhaps he didn’t feel that way about Oswald at all… 

“Damn you, Oswald!” Ed blurted out, fulfilling Oswald’s worst fears. “How could you tell me that!? How could you!?” 

Oswald bit back his tears, feeling his heart break as if a bullet went straight through it. “Ed, I--” 

Ed suddenly jerked on the couch, causing Oswald to flinch and shut his eyes. He almost expected Ed to strike him but instead he felt his friend’s large hands on either sides of his face. Their eyes met, Ed glaring at him. 

“Darn it, Oswald!  _ I  _ wanted to confess  _ my  _ feelings for you  _ first _ !”

Oswald cracked one eye open. “Huh?” he gaped stupidly. 

There was a soft smile on Ed’s face. His voice sounded softer too. He released Oswald’s face and blushed.   

“Oswald, I recently realized that I have this urge for us to become more than friends. That I want us to be…  _ partners _ .” 

Oswald’s eyes were wide with wonderment. “And by  _ partners  _ you mean…?” 

“I mean I love you too, Oswald!” Ed announced, taking Oswald’s hands in his own. “I’ve been trying to gather my courage and tell you for weeks… I hadn’t even realized how I truly felt about you until recently but I think I’ve been in love with you for months.” 

“Really?” Oswald breathed, beaming into a smile. 

Ed nodded. “Come to think of it, that fantasy I have of you singing to me seductively in a top hat should’ve been a clue…”

“... me singing, top hat, what?...” 

“The point is, I love you. I love you very much, Oswald. And now that you’ve confessed, I’m ready to admit it too.” 

Oswald chuckled. “You’re such a dork!” he said fondly. 

There were tears of happiness in Oswald’s eyes, he no longer bothered holding them in. He felt like he’d burst with joy. He wasn’t sure his heart was meant to sustain such huge amount of happiness. 

“Oh, Ed…” was all he could say.  

His heart was beating fast, his cheeks were flushed but all he could think about was how much he wanted to kiss Ed right now. His eyes slid down to Ed's lips as he slowly leaned forward. And oh, a miracle! Ed was leaning in too, closing the distance between them. Oswald closed his eyes and the next moment he felt warm soft lips on his. It was Oswald’s first real kiss. He didn’t even have time to properly panic about it. All he could do was surrender to the feeling of Ed’s closeness as it awakened something new and exciting inside him. It was rather awkward at first but soon Oswald was kissing him in earnest, no more hesitation, no more inexperience. He was pouring all his enthusiasm into it, giving Ed everything he had. 

Ed grinned into the kiss. “Wow. You’re really-- wow.” 

Oswald blushed and chased after Ed’s lips hungrily, craving for more. “I love you!” he repeated countless times, never getting tired of the sentiment. “I love you so much, Ed!” 

“I can tell!” Ed grinned back at him, wrapping his long arms around Oswald as the two of them slowly slid down to lie on the couch as their kiss turned into a make out session. 

Oswald let out a small desperate little sound. It was amazing to have Ed in his embrace, to be in Ed’s arms, to feel the man he loved love him back. Oswald was truly happy. And judging by Ed’s behavior and the look on his face, also by his racing heartbeat, Ed was happy too. 

~*~ 

Ivy was the first person they told. When she heard the news from Oswald she just had to pop by their apartment and ‘assess the situation’. 

“Yep.” she nodded. “I detect no difference whatsoever between you two now and you two earlier. Are you sure you weren’t already dating in high school?” she teased. 

Then they told Foxy. Oswald hadn’t met Foxy before, only knowing him from Ed’s constant Foxy stories, but he was glad to say that the moment he met saw Ed and Foxy interact all his previous jealousy dissolved into thin air. There was definitely only friendship between those two dorks. Oswald had nothing to worry about. 

Then Oswald told James Gordon. Ed was cranky the entire day, insisting that he wasn’t jealous but his bad mood was glaringly obvious and he was totally jealous. This time Oswald allowed himself to have some fun exploring that. 

“Jim sends his regards. He thinks we’d make a great couple.” Oswald said and then added with a smirk. “He also looked quite hot in his football uniform. My, my! I’m swooning just thinking about it.” 

In a matter of seconds Ed’s face became red with rage and he grabbed Oswald, lifting him up and taking him to his bedroom like some caveman. Oswald had no idea Ed had it in him! Not that he minded one bit… 

“Remind me to thank Jim Gordon later!” Oswald laughed cheerfully. 

And then came the most difficult part. Oswald wanted to tell his mother but Ed still didn’t want to meet her. 

“Are you kidding me?” Oswald groaned. 

“I just can’t!” Ed insisted, nearly pouting as he crossed his arms over his chest to express how certain he was in his decision not to meet her. 

“I’m sorry, Ed, but I believe it’s high time you meet my mother.” Oswald said. “At least once.” 

“It’s not a matter of how often I see her, it’s a matter of her seeing me…” he sighed, hoping he’d manage to explain. “I’m sure she’s amazing and from your stories alone I already love her. But if she doesn’t like me now, it’d be even worse than if she didn't like me when I was only your friend. Do you understand?” 

“But she  _ does  _ like you. She told me so herself! She wants me to be happy and you’re making me happy. Therefore she likes you. It’s logical. You like logic.” 

But Ed was still very insecure and unsure about the whole thing, delaying the moment to meet Gertrude as much as possible. So in the end Oswald decided to take the matters in his own hands and come up with a clever idea. 

~*~ 

“I have a few things to finish up before lunch and I’ll be right with you.” Oswald said, giving Ed a quick kiss. 

“Okay. I’ll wait for you here.” Ed smiled, taking out his notebook to work on his research while waiting for Oswald at their usual lunch table at Maroni’s. 

While he had his nose buried in his notes, he almost didn’t notice that a pleasant elderly lady came to him, trying to attract his attention. 

“I’m sorry, young man, could I perhaps ask you for a favor?” she said with a smile. 

Ed furrowed his brows a little awkwardly. “Well, that depends on the favor.” he replied earnestly. “Do you need directions? A chair perhaps? Food advice? Medical assistance?”

The woman chuckled. “No, nothing like that. But sweet of you to offer.” she pulled up the chair next to Ed and sat down. “No, I need riddles.”

Ed instantly perked up. “Riddles?” 

“Yes. You see, all my life I’ve always loved riddles but recently I realized that I know them all! Every riddle I hear or read, I’ve already heard or read before. It’s really hopeless!” 

“Oh, surely not hopeless!” Ed said quickly. “I’ll help you!” 

“You would?” she beamed at him. 

“Gladly!” Ed beamed right back at her. “I happen to  _ love  _ riddles too!” 

Over the next half an hour Ed was so taken by the lady and so excited and invested in their conversation that he almost forgot that Oswald was about to join him for lunch soon. When his boyfriend finally showed up Ed and the lady were already best friends. 

“Oh, good! You met my mother.” Oswald smiled, almost giving Ed a panic attack. 

“Your… mo…?” he stuttered, face becoming paler as he stared at Gertrude with confusion. 

“Ed is such a good boy! I’m so happy for the two of you, Oswald!” Mrs. Kapelput said with a loving smile. Her hand found Ed’s and she gave it a gentle squeeze. It was at that moment that Ed was finally put at ease about meeting Oswald’s mother. 

He smiled back at Gertrude and the three of them had a lovely lunch together. Ed never worried about her not liking him ever again. In fact, he grew to think of her as his mother also. It was nice for him to finally have a mother who was kind to him.

“Just think what a coincidence that we met like that!” Ed grinned happily by the end of their lunch. 

“Oh, yes. Fate works in mysterious ways.” Oswald whispered into his ear, giving him a little wink. 

Ed’s eyes went wide. “ _ You… _ ?” 

Oswald grinned and snuggled closer to his partner. Arranging the meeting so that it was easier on Ed was just the tip of the iceberg of things Oswald would gladly do for his best friend and future husband (because let’s face it, Oswald would totally marry Ed!). 

Ed chuckled and wrapped an arm around Oswald as Oswald rested his head on Ed’s shoulders. “I continue to be in awe of you, Oswald.” Ed whispered back and kissed his head. Oswald was truly amazing. And he was all Ed’s! He loved him unconditionally with his heart and soul. Even the Riddler inside Ed’s head went  _ dayam!  _ at that thought. 

~*~ 

Fish Mooney. Her name was Fish Mooney. That gorgeous black woman that walked as if the Earth belonged to her. Her name was Fish Mooney and Oswald wanted to be just like her. He wanted to make Gotham his own, build an empire like no other and with Ed by his side, he would definitely succeed. 

 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone, for reading the story, for all the lovely comments and all the kudos! I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! :)
> 
> I might start a sequel to this about Nygmobblepot’s life together as a couple and Oswald’s rise in the crime world. Jim Gordon will officially become a cop in that story, also I’m definitely bringing Jealous!Ed back, the issue of Ed’s split personality, Ivy, Fish, Butch, Barbara, Tabitha and a bunch of others should be there too. But at this stage the sequel is only a vague idea so let me know your opinions on whether you’d like to read it or not :)


End file.
